Weddding Invite without Daughters name

Torry_Quine

Until recently I'd never heard of not inviting children to a wedding and personally think it sad as to me it's a famiy occasion.

That said it's entirely up to the couple and so you may have to turn down the invite.

donnalou

newbutold wrote: »

I don't think it was rude to ask if you could bring your daughter in lieu of your hubby. Did you explain why you was asking and. Hubby was working etc to her? However as she has said no, to push the matter more would be in bad taste, in my opinion.

I think you can either chose to turn the invite down now or find childcare whilst hubby is at work and he can mind her after work, thus enabling you to go along.

She knows the situation I won't be pushing it.
As the wedding is 350 miles I would have to leave my daughter for 3 days with a stranger looking after her whilst my husband is at work, my daughter comes first I would never do that.

donnalou

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Sounds to me like you may need you daughter there so that you don't feel alone and to give you an excuse to leave early etc.

That's completely understandable, probably half of us would be the same, but this discomfort is your issue and you can't push this back on the bride and groom.

No not at all I'll have plenty of family there to keep me company, But yes If my daughter got tired I would take her to bed early.

tatabubbly

Well, my question is if you already asked, you have your answer.

Children do not make weddings in my opinion, I'm not having flowergirls/pageboys or any of that as the last few weddings I attended, it looked more like a preschool than a wedding party.

My family know this and even my brother who is having a baby understands this as well. He said him and his misses would prefer to have a baby free day. One of my aunties always gets lumbered with putting the kids to bed etc and I've arranged for a babysitter in the hotel and the kids can stay in the room while she is downstairs enjoying her meal and having a few glasses of wine.

Stephb1986_2

tatabubbly wrote: »

Well, my question is if you already asked, you have your answer.

Children do not make weddings in my opinion, I'm not having flowergirls/pageboys or any of that as the last few weddings I attended, it looked more like a preschool than a wedding party.

My family know this and even my brother who is having a baby understands this as well. He said him and his misses would prefer to have a baby free day. One of my aunties always gets lumbered with putting the kids to bed etc and I've arranged for a babysitter in the hotel and the kids can stay in the room while she is downstairs enjoying her meal and having a few glasses of wine.

I wouldn't be having bridesmaids if it wasn't for h2b asking his two nieces, I couldn't be mean and say no could I. I agree that children do not make weddings a bride and groom do otherwise there would be no wedding and it would be a crazy party.

hels234

Hi, we are having children at our wedding, all have been invited. Some are coming, some guests have said their leaving theirs at home. I've been to a lot of weddings recently and from what I can see, and to put it bluntly, if you invite young children (under 5) you've got to be prepared for them playing, screaming etc and often becoming the focus of the day. A lot simply haven't learnt what a lot of us would describe as "good behaviour" and even if they have, might have an off day with everything that's going on. Personally, this doesn't bother me but I can understand why some couples wouldn't want this. I recently watched a bride looking horrified as a friends 2 and 4 year old ran screaming and laughing around during the speeches (everyone was watching them and couldn't listen) You need to understand that even though your daughter comes first to you, this is the one day of their lives when they want to be first. We have tried to please everyone and to be honest it has made me miserable about our day, I think you should respect their wishes for this special day.

tatabubbly

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I wouldn't be having bridesmaids if it wasn't for h2b asking his two nieces, I couldn't be mean and say no could I. I agree that children do not make weddings a bride and groom do otherwise there would be no wedding and it would be a crazy party.

As I said, its just my opinion. One couple I know only had their daughter at their wedding and the stick they got from other parents who were invited without their children was unbelievable. I could not believe people were so horrible to them. I just do not want to deal with that sort of hassle either!

Tashatutuw

74jax wrote: »

We also just invited who we wanted, some we invited their kids and others we didn't.

We have done this for our wedding - in particular one cousin of H2Bs was quite shocked when she was told her 4 children weren't invited because 'other cousins invited them' - well that was her wedding. Some we have invited because they have only 1 child who we know will be well behaved.

H2Bs middle brother has 7 children and 3 step children and has been told categorically he cannot bring them because of numbers and because they won't behave well - he understands this.

Both of my brothers have 3 children each and all 6 are invited along with H2Bs eldest brothers 2 children (all of these 8 are bridesmaids and page boys).

It is our wedding and therefore our choice - OP you may be very upset but there may be reasons they have decided not to invite children on the whole. It may be that some children are mouth frothing loonies like BILs 10 children and they have decided so as not to offend anyone specifically they will rule out all children but the ones involved.

Weddings are stressful things, be kind to your niece despite being upset with her and be understanding of the situation she is in.

nightsky224

We recently got married and for me inviting children was really important (we don't have kids) it did mean that we invited 30 children though (20 came) which is a lot of extra numbers.
Other than the bridesmaids I think its hard to have a 1/2 way house. Invite some children but not others.
If you went with your daughter how would the other guests who's kids hadn't been invited and who had made childcare arrangements feel.


There are so many things for a bride and groom to think of, its a stressful time. No matter what decisions they make they wont please everyone.


You need to see it from their point of view in reality its not about having your daughter take your husbands place is it.......

Gettin256

Slightly_Squiffy wrote: »

I feel sorry for your poor niece. There is so much stress involved with a wedding and for you to be questioning things and asking for exceptions to be made will only increase that stress. Poster above wrote a good example letter, I'd go with that!

completely agree Slightly Squiffy, the poor girl must be getting all sorts of hassle and has plenty of other things to focus on without this. Send the decline and while it's not what you wanted, accept that people have the right to invite who they want to their own wedding.