Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

Exactly, so what's the point in asking someone else for permission?

FELLA-ME-LAD: Please sir, may I have your daughter's hand in marriage?
DAD (looking fella-me-lad up and down with a disparaging sneer): No, daughter is required around here to look after me and the Mrs in our dotage and I'm not going to give her up to a no-good oik like you.
FELLA-ME-LAD: Um but you were supposed to say yes! Well we're going to do it anyway, and by-the-way you're also expected to pay for the wedding...

heartbreak_star

That's an interesting one - for those ladies who expect their beaus to ask their father for permission to marry them...do you also expect your dad to pay for the wedding??

HBS x

Georgiegirl256

onlyroz wrote: »

FELLA-ME-LAD: Please sir, may I have your daughter's hand in marriage?
DAD (looking fella-me-lad up and down with a disparaging sneer): No, daughter is required around here to look after me and the Mrs in our dotage and I'm not going to give her up to a no-good oik like you.
FELLA-ME-LAD: Um but you were supposed to say yes! Well we're going to do it anyway, and by-the-way you're also expected to pay for the wedding...

Very childish. Is she mocking your POV? No? Then why are you mocking hers?

seven-day-weekend

heartbreak_star wrote: »

That's an interesting one - for those ladies who expect their beaus to ask their father for permission to marry them...do you also expect your dad to pay for the wedding??

HBS x

No...... .

paulineb_2

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

.. Please don't be ridiculous.



Exactly so go on insulting my views if you makes that happy. The traditional people are always vindicated but those with more liberal views are praised. Ironic really.

You talk about the way people react to you and then you are rude to someone else?

Forgive me if I dont waste my breath responding to any of your posts in future.

Georgiegirl256

heartbreak_star wrote: »

That's an interesting one - for those ladies who expect their beaus to ask their father for permission to marry them...do you also expect your dad to pay for the wedding??

HBS x

I never expected anything, and nor should anyone IMO.

My husband didn't ask my Dad for permission, but that's just because he's quite shy about situations like that. I didn't expect him to.

I didn't expect my parents to pay for the wedding either, they insisted and wouldn't have it any other way. If they hadn't have offered, that would have been ok too, there's no way I would have demand that they did, and I think it's wrong for anyone to do so.

System

I wouldn't expect my parents to contribute a penny but I quite like the idea of potential future husband asking for my hand in marriage as my dear step dad is of The older generation and if I did get married there would be little else done traditionally do I'd like to make him feel more involved. Sounds silly as I'd obviously have him give me away.

notanewuser

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I wouldn't expect my parents to contribute a penny but I quite like the idea of potential future husband asking for my hand in marriage as my dear step dad is of The older generation and if I did get married there would be little else done traditionally do I'd like to make him feel more involved. Sounds silly as I'd obviously have him give me away.

Is it obvious? I walked down the aisle with my father, but no mention was ever made about being given away! I wasn't his to give!

anotheruser

Mojisola wrote: »

Are we living in a Jane Austin novel?!:rotfl:

Judi wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

So because someone wants to show the bride-to-be's father a little bit of respect, you automatically assume it's too old fashioned for today's world?
Stop using your phone then - that's been around for donkey's years!

Asking the dad's permission isn't about gaining it, it's more about respect.
If the guy doesn't think they would get permission, either them or the dad must be a douche.

PenguinJim wrote: »

Well, every good MSE knows the answer to that one (Possibly NSFW URL, but not an "adult" article). :beer:
(I still fell for it. 18K white gold, Swarovski crystals, AU$13 delivered... I was such a romantic back then!)

I note you didn't actually give the reason.
I assume you don't really know, hence you tried to post a "funny".

paulineb wrote: »

Seriously, she's to wait another 1-2 years for him to give a ring he bought 6 months ago? If he wanted to give her the ring it could have been done 50 times over.

Some people don't have a dad. Wise not to assume.

But most people do. I was offering a possible explanation based on the probability, which is sort of how forums work as not everyone will give their life story... although some seem too!


Asking the dad to give you away isn't about the dad owning you like some sort of slave. It's about them no longer giving you money when you ask as that should be your new family's responsibility.
While we're at it, those who aren't married but have a baby (or two), have they got the father's surname? Why is that? Tradition perhaps?
What the hell, why not get married in jeans and a t-shirt (of course, the girl wouldn't be wearing a dress or skirt as that's too old fashioned!) - no need for a wedding dress... too traditional.

I am shocked at how far people's minds can be warped over the smallest things about tradition and that they seem to take things literally and with great offence.

OP: If you want to follow the advice from a stupid internet forum that has far too many people on it who take offence at the smallest of things, leave your guy and don't look back. Jump the ship, don't look back in anger and all that.

Mojisola

anotheruser wrote: »

So because someone wants to show the bride-to-be's father a little bit of respect, you automatically assume it's too old fashioned for today's world?

Stop using your phone then - that's been around for donkey's years!

What on earth has using a phone got to do with this?

Asking the dad's permission isn't about gaining it, it's more about respect.

How is it respectful to ask only one parent for permission to marry if you know that you are going to ignore his view if he says no? Where's the respect for the mother?

Asking the dad to give you away isn't about the dad owning you like some sort of slave. It's about them no longer giving you money when you ask as that should be your new family's responsibility.

Before I married, I was an independent adult - it wasn't my parents' responsibility to give me money when I asked for it (!) and it certainly wasn't my PIL's responsibility after I married. :rotfl: