Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

Where do you think the tradition comes from?

Just because it comes from that, does not mean that's what it represents today.

No one thinks fathers own their daughters until a husband takes them off their hands.

claire16c

Pollycat wrote: »

I think this thread has gone far enough off-topic so I'm not going to continue to explain my view of the meaning/significance of rings.

Again, I wish the OP all the best.

I'll take that as a yes then.

notanewuser

duchy wrote: »

Most people still meet their partners through or at work 0just like it was "back in the day" . I do think attitudes are different if only because we're a broader society and people date more (as we are generally marrying older) people before settling and a wider range of people so are less likely to already know all about them before starting to date .

None of our close circle of friends met at work. Of every couple I can think of off the top of my head maybe 2 out of 30 couples met at work.

Pollycat

claire16c wrote: »

I'll take that as a yes then.

You take it as whatever you like, love.

But if you do take it as a 'Yes' you'd be wrong. Happy?

If you can't see my point about continuing de-railing this thread, do carry on arguing with yourself.

Person_one wrote: »

At the risk of enraging pollycat again, it's another sexist tradition.

Don't be so ridiculously over-dramatic. :rotfl:

Person_one

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Just because it comes from that, does not mean that's what it represents today.

No one thinks fathers own their daughters until a husband takes them off their hands.

So...what's the point of it? What does it represent today?

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

So...what's the point of it?

I just think it's respectful to ensure everything is well with the parents, I doubt many people would call off their proposal if the dad said no. And I doubt many dads would say no.

Not everything is a war against sexism/ any other ism.

Georgiegirl256

victory wrote: »

Because it is tradition:D:D:D

Just because it's tradition doesn't mean that it's got to be done.

burnoutbabe

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I just think it's respectful to ensure everything is well with the parents, I doubt many people would call off their proposal if the dad said no. And I doubt many dads would say no.

Not everything is a war against sexism/ any other ism.

but then why on earth would you not speak to the dad AND mum.

Why just dads? Why would I not ask my bf parents about marrying him?

How can anyone say its not a sexist tradition?

Buzzybee90

burnoutbabe wrote: »

but then why on earth would you not speak to the dad AND mum.

Why just dads? Why would I not ask my bf parents about marrying him?

How can anyone say its not a sexist tradition?

I think a lot of people do! I'm a Christian and tradition is important to me. I'd expect my boyfriend to speak with both of my parents, and I'm sure he would.

I don't find it sexist because it's not actual rules, it's just a respect thing.

notanewuser

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I think a lot of people do! I'm a Christian and tradition is important to me. I'd expect my boyfriend to speak with both of my parents, and I'm sure he would.

I don't find it sexist because it's not actual rules, it's just a respect thing.

Presumably you keep slaves and don't wash during your period either. After all, that's traditional.

Not sure what religion has to do with it, apart from it being outdated and as sexist as it comes.