Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

CH27

I wouldn't change my name to his but I would be very tempted to change your child's name to yours.

I think he is being very cruel keeping you dangling.

*max*

Not only has he bought the ring with you, but he's keeping it in your bedroom! Seriously...I'm beginning to think he's either the most insensitive person there has ever been, or he has a screw loose!

What do you say when he mentions "we'll be married this time next year"??? If you're avoiding the subject of the ring/engagement so as not to spoil the moment "in case he proposes", well...I think it's all spoilt for you now anyway, you might as well have a frank talk about it!

I can't imagine living with someone, having a child with them, and not being able to talk about getting married when they've already bought the bloomin ring AND are keeping it in the bedroom in full view! This is a bit of an insane situation tbh.

catkins

Person_one wrote: »

You make it sound like if you don't live together then you can force your partner's hand into marriage! :eek:

No, I am not saying that but before couples started living together they got engaged and then married. Once you live with someone unless you both want to be married what is there to make it happen?

74jax

pollypenny wrote: »

I wouldn't dream of changing my name to that of a guy who couldn't be bothered to marry me.

You're giving him an easy way out!

Completely agree.

It came across as a deal breaker to me about getting married, but the op saying she would think about changing her name to his had me now confused.

If you don't mind not getting married then go ahead, but I thought the point was you did?

thorsoak

thorsoak wrote: »

How do you know that he bought it for YOU, OP?????

This is what I asked you on 20th January! I know that you were there when he bought it - and now, 10 weeks later, I would say to him "by the way - if the ring you bought was for me, why have you not given it to me - or did you buy it for someone else?"

Personally - he doesn't sound like a keeper to me!

You've got a child and your other half prefers to play on his xbox rather than talk to you? Sounds like you have two children.

Start thinking about an independent life?

Person_one

catkins wrote: »

No, I am not saying that but before couples started living together they got engaged and then married. Once you live with someone unless you both want to be married what is there to make it happen?

Um, why would it happen or why should it happen if one party doesn't want it to?

Georgiegirl256

pollypenny wrote: »

I wish I'd kept my maiden name anyway, it's much nicer!

I think that too sometimes. My maiden name was easier to spell. My married name isn't hard really, but for some reason people seem to think it is and overthink how to say it or spell it! :mad:

If I was the OP, I certainly wouldn't be changing my name without marriage. People will just assume that you are married when they see you have the same name, and then you have to face the embarrassment of explaining that you are not.

wapow

Gorji girl?
Youre right, overthinking it

Milliebob

Apologies for not addressing the question about the finance on the ring. No it isn't paid off, it was taken over three years. So I very much hope that's not what he is waiting for!

And to the people who are asking about sitting down and talking about it, if you read the whole thread you would see that we did in January after the advice on here, and then the further advice was to leave it for a bit as I'd gotten a bit obsessed.

I won a comp to stay in a very posh, very romantic country house hotel which we are going to next Friday, so I'm secretly crossing everything!

Person_one

Milliebob wrote: »

Apologies for not addressing the question about the finance on the ring. No it isn't paid off, it was taken over three years. So I very much hope that's not what he is waiting for!

And to the people who are asking about sitting down and talking about it, if you read the whole thread you would see that we did in January after the advice on here, and then the further advice was to leave it for a bit as I'd gotten a bit obsessed.

I won a comp to stay in a very posh, very romantic country house hotel which we are going to next Friday, so I'm secretly crossing everything!

Please please don't get your hopes up. If you don't want this to be another disappointing special event, I think you need to tell him that you expect him to propose on this weekend, that you've waited long enough and you are refusing to be fobbed off and kept hanging in limbo anymore.

Then, if he doesn't, you'll know why.