Not being told, finding out by accident

Macca83_2

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Tbf, me and OH can spend what we like without consultation - I give him my share of bill money and that's it - the rest of our wages are ours.

Sooooooo much easier...though we don't have any kids.

HBS x

That's the way me and the OH do it too.

victory

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Tbf, me and OH can spend what we like without consultation - I give him my share of bill money and that's it - the rest of our wages are ours.

Sooooooo much easier...though we don't have any kids.

HBS x

.............................................

valk_scot

I still want to know who the relative was? I don't suppose it's a relative that's been particularly kind or helpful or done you a big favour recently and the gift was by way of saying thank you?


I think there's two things at work here though. Firstly he didn't ask you...if he had, would you have been okay with it? Or is it that you don't see why this relative should be getting this sort of gift at all, especially when you didn't?


I definitely wouldn't have phoned him though, and double definitely not at work. I'd have broached the subject after he'd had a chance to unwind from work and had his dinner. I always find that's the best time for any sort of discussion, when OH isn't feeling so stressed out from work. And it's given me the time to think about the topic and count to ten if it's something that's been irritating me. Otherwise I find OH just goes on the defensive and won't discuss anything sensibly, we just get into a slanging match. It's taken me twenty years of living with him to learn to bite my tongue till I've calmed down a bit over something!

Any

Gigervamp wrote: »

What I find out of order (other than the fact that he didn't discuss the purchase) is that he spent £55 on a gift for a relative, yet got nothing for Victory for xmas.

Well that would be it for me...
Not only todays dinner for the dog.. move him to the dog house permanently, until he can find more suitable lodgings!!
£55 would not bother me (but then we are not in the tax bill is coming position) but THIS would break the camels back!!

victory

valk_scot wrote: »

I still want to know who the relative was? I don't suppose it's a relative that's been particularly kind or helpful or done you a big favour recently and the gift was by way of saying thank you?


I think there's two things at work here though. Firstly he didn't ask you...if he had, would you have been okay with it? Or is it that you don't see why this relative should be getting this sort of gift at all, especially when you didn't?


I definitely wouldn't have phoned him though, and double definitely not at work. I'd have broached the subject after he'd had a chance to unwind from work and had his dinner. I always find that's the best time for any sort of discussion, when OH isn't feeling so stressed out from work. And it's given me the time to think about the topic and count to ten if it's something that's been irritating me. Otherwise I find OH just goes on the defensive and won't discuss anything sensibly, we just get into a slanging match. It's taken me twenty years of living with him to learn to bite my tongue till I've calmed down a bit over something!

No the relative has done nothing .... Asking? Maybe not but not even chat about it seems unfair.... No issues with relative being gifted just the amount a bit of 'our family protection, we right now need it most, not about me but us as in kids, food, bills, etc, money here is better.

I have explained about phoning at work in post 3:D:D

peachyprice

victory wrote: »

Why couldn't you have bought something else/ cheaper? Why do you always make it about the money that I :rotfl::rotfl: at

Because it's freaking January, the worst month of the year!!! Duh, Mr V.

victory

Any wrote: »

Well that would be it for me...
Not only todays dinner for the dog.. move him to the dog house permanently, until he can find more suitable lodgings!!
£55 would not bother me (but then we are not in the tax bill is coming position) but THIS would break the camels back!!

No, that's all side stepping the issue, nought at Xmas is normal, doesn't prickle me:D

Person_one

Why didn't he get you a Christmas present? Did you get him one or was it pre-agreed that you wouldn't?

I do think you need to agree on a limit to 'free' spending. You might think you have one but if you've never actually discussed it then you don't!

victory

peachyprice wrote: »

Because it's freaking January, the worst month of the year!!! Duh, Mr V.

But I'm in the wrong there because he now says it wasn't in stock when he originally saw it/ thought of it so it would have been December end of had it been in, slippery !!!!!!:rotfl:

peachyprice

victory wrote: »

But I'm in the wrong there because he now says it wasn't in stock when he originally saw it/ thought of it so it would have been December end of had it been in, slippery !!!!!!:rotfl:

Ah, but then he should have said to you way back then that he was waiting for it to come back in stock and he needed £55 earmarked for it