Children and violence

ska_lover

willownuts wrote: »

I wonder how many people would do just as they say and do nothing if someone they were in an argument with slapped/punched them.

I wouldnt stand and do nothing.

Kids at school, faced with gangs or bullies are scared.

And no its not right to go about bashing people. But sometimes, it is often the only thing a kid can do when face to face with the situation.

Fight or flight.

I know which Id choose for me or anyone in my family

Rach

That is an interesting point Rach.

Is anyone else brave enough to answer it? If for some reason, you got into an argument and got punched, how do you think you may react?

ska_lover

Person_one wrote: »

Well, hey, a caution at the age of 11 is just grand I suppose.

Is it? Not where I come from

jetplane

My husband has always been tall and was often targeted by older boys when he was young. He was taught to hit back and if it was more than one person tormenting then to hit the biggest in the group, the reasoning being the rest wouldn't bother him then :eek: I was shocked at this.

This has not turned him into a fighter or a wife beater as he was also taught other values. In fact he hates confrontation, he would rather turn the other cheek.

swingaloo

fluffnutter wrote: »

Oh dear. So many parents giving such mixed messages. It's not OK for him/her to hit you but it's fine for you to hit him/her. All the justifications about 'But he did it first!' are neither here nor there. Violence just breed violence and you're an ignorant fool if you think otherwise. Teach your kids to run fast not hit people.

Absolute rubbish. no one has said 'its not ok for him/her to hit you but its fine for you to hit him/her.

What they have said is that if your child is hit first then you should hit back. My nephew was terribly bullied at school just because he had a bad limp, would you suggest he was taught to run fast.

Violence does not always breed violence. I got slapped as a child both at home and at school. I grew up respecting my teachers and parents.

Some use the analogy that you cannot tell a child that its wrong to smack whilst at the same time perhaps smacking the child's legs or bottom for misbehaving. but children grow up knowing that there are things that are acceptable for adults to do which they cannot do.

Some parents smoke but they wouldn't expect a child of 5 or 6 to do the same. Its something that's acceptable for adults not children. Why should smacking to control extreme naughty behaviour be any different. And no, I'm not condoning any more than a smacked bottom. It never did me any harm or any of my siblings. We are all non violent people and believe me we got well put in our place as children.

now the streets are full of mums and dads effing and blinding at children still in prams. Those kids will grow up far more unbalanced and with no sense of right or wrong than any child from the days when parents were allowed to discipline.

my son got smacked perhaps 3 times during his childhood. most of the time a telling off would do and the smack was a deterrent. Is he traumatised? No, he's a well balanced, none violent adult.

So as far as 'violence breeding violence' goes I will stay an 'ignorant fool'. Children having no discipline at home or in schools breeds violence. The proof is there for everyone to see.

Person_one

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Never mind the rights and wrongs of kids hitting back...

Why on earth is there not more of an outcry about the fact that children are left in the position of snapping after a years worth of physical bullying?

Honestly if you seen the (non) effectiveness of anti-bullying policies in some schools you'd be amazed there isn't more issues.

Lets not forget the parents of the bullies, how many parents actually have frank and open conversations with their children about this?

I've never seen a single parent admit that their child is a bully, or that they pick on the 'weaker' ones, but clearly they exist.

I know of newer schools that have had the buildings designed to eliminate the usual places where bullying happens, and to leave them with nowhere to hide, but morality usually comes from parents, not teachers.

glitter_fairy

Person_one wrote: »

Are those the only options? Do I have to choose whether I prefer bullying and suicide or appalling violence?

SO what would you have done? he is on the waiting list for another school, I have been up to the school more times than I can count. We tried talking to the other parents, we have put our son in counseling. We were told if we kept him off school we would be prosecuted,

Person_one

ska_lover wrote: »

Is it? Not where I come from

Don't pretend you don't know what sarcasm is!

claire16c

I always used to think that telling a child not to hit back at a bully was the best thing to do, that they should run/tell a teacher etc.

However I used to have a girl be really nasty to me at primary school, and the only time she backed off was when I was verbally aggressive back to her. Ignoring her never worked.

My DH says he will tell our kids to hit back if someone hits them. He was bullied at school for years, until one day he snapped and hit one back. They never touched him again. So he wishes he had done it earlier. I cant say I blame him.

glitter_fairy

Person_one wrote: »

Lets not forget the parents of the bullies, how many parents actually have frank and open conversations with their children about this?

I've never seen a single parent admit that their child is a bully, or that they pick on the 'weaker' ones, but clearly they exist.

I know of newer schools that have had the buildings designed to eliminate the usual places where bullying happens, and to leave them with nowhere to hide, but morality usually comes from parents, not teachers.

This is something we have spoken to our children at length about, They know our views on bullying.

stix62

ska_lover wrote: »

....
Is anyone else brave enough to answer it? If for some reason, you got into an argument and got punched, how do you think you may react?

Precisely.

It's ok saying the kids shouldn't so this or that, but how would you react in that situation. Are you supposed to stand there and take another one. I don't think so!