Children and violence

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Actually, I'm pretty sure there's no formula that guarantees a child won't be bullied. To some, confidence and assertiveness are a sign that somebody needs to be 'knocked down a peg or two'.

I think we must have a difference definition of assertiveness which in my book is nothing to do with arrogance.

FBaby

glitter_fairy wrote: »

So what should he have done? Just taken it? He didnt plan to break his nose, He had to do something,

Ideally the school should have protected him but they didnt

So if that boy had decided to get back to him for injuring him worse than he had ever done, and broke his legs, that it would have been ok, just making it clear to him that breaking his nose wasn't acceptable? Lucky his parents didn't decide to take the matter in their hands...

ska_lover

glitter_fairy wrote: »

So what should he have done? Just taken it? He didnt plan to break his nose, He had to do something,

Ideally the school should have protected him but they didnt

I think you are right, and have prepared him to be an independent young man

If you allow yourself to get walked all over, you begin to have no self confidence, no self esteem. You begin to believe other peoples opinions that you are worthless. To stand up for yourself is everything. You clearly want the best for your child and want him to be a confident young man, unafraid of the world

This thread started to make me snigger a while back when certain people getting on their high horse on this thread implying all sorts of stuff, yet failing to see that patronising is a form of bulling, but HEY they aren't that kind of person and they don't need to have that sort of conversation with their kids of 'what to do in the worst case scenario' because that will never happen to their kids hahaha!

Seriously I would be proud of him if I was you, and I will sit on the naughty step with you.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

I think we must have a difference definition of assertiveness which in my book is nothing to do with arrogance.

Where did I mention arrogance? Whatever personality trait you're talking about anyway, it definitely won't guarantee immunity from bullying or being picked on, none possibly could.

ska_lover

FBaby wrote: »

So if that boy had decided to get back to him for injuring him worse than he had ever done, and broke his legs, that it would have been ok, just making it clear to him that breaking his nose wasn't acceptable? Lucky his parents didn't decide to take the matter in their hands...

Why is that what you would do? What would that entail?

Person_one

ska_lover wrote: »

I think you are right, and have prepared him to be an independent young man

If you allow yourself to get walked all over, you begin to have no self confidence, no self esteem. You begin to believe other peoples opinions that you are worthless. To stand up for yourself is everything. You clearly want the best for your child and want him to be a confident young man, unafraid of the world

This thread started to make me snigger a while back when certain people getting on their high horse on this thread implying all sorts of stuff, yet failing to see that patronising is a form of bulling, but HEY they aren't that kind of person and they don't need to have that sort of conversation with their kids of 'what to do in the worst case scenario' because that will never happen to their kids hahaha!

Seriously I would be proud of him if I was you, and I will sit on the naughty step with you.

The age of criminal responsibility in this country is 10. Teaching an 11 year old that its ok to commit GBH is not helping them at all!

ska_lover

I doubt many parents use that terminology Person One, ''if someone hits you, make sure you commit GBH son, don't just give him a quick slap''

notanewuser

springdreams wrote: »

I hold my hand up to being a parent who has told my DS that if someone hits him, he is to hit them back.

The intention not being to promote violence, but to ensure that my DS does not become the victim of bullies. He knows that he should not hit anyone who has not hit him first.

Children need to learn to stand up for themselves.

My son has only once been bullied. He has been left alone now that his tormentor knows that he will stand up for himself.

Isn't this why there's such a problem with guns in the states though? School kids are carrying guns so now they want teachers carrying guns and armed guards in schools. The answer to gun problems isn't more guns!!!

Kids here carry knives "just in case" somebody pulls a knife on them. It's madness and look where it ends!!!

stix62

FBaby wrote: »

You must be very proud

I would have been. Good on the lad for finally standing up to the idiot and teaching him a well deserved lesson.

I've always told my kids to hit someone back if they hit you first, but hit them harder, and I shall tell my grand children the same.
I also told them you NEVER hit anyone first.

It's ok to say you shouldn't hit back, but isn't this basic human survival?

ska_lover

ahh I can see this one raging on and on. I'm going to grab some popcorn