Children and violence

Buick

Kids have always gotten into fights at school, and probably always will. Just because a pair of 11-year-olds were having some fisticuffs, doesn't mean they'll both grow up to be mad murderous thugs

Is it realistic to tell children to never hit back when someone attacks them? I doubt it, but you could always point out (when the situation has calmed down) that an eye for an eye and the world will go blind..

FBaby

well this thread truly depresses me. I can't believe that so many believes that hiting back is ok. No surprises I guess that so much bullying is going on because in the end, it is often unclear who starts what. My kids tell me once in a while about bullying and somehow it always seem to be the same kids involved with both parties persuaded that they are victims whilst the other is the obvious bully.

I am glad that myself and my kids so far have always managed to avoid any kind of bullying because they just stay away from these kids, yet are armed to avoid coming across as easy targets.

This thread make it sound like fights among kids are almost inevitable...really?

JodyBPM

I'm truly shocked that so many parents are telling their children its OK to hit/hit back.

Perhaps if everyone told their children not to hit rather than its OK to hit, then there would less violence and less need for "self defence".

My children are certainly being brought up that it is *never* OK to hit, and thankfully that is the norm in this area, fighting is not tolerated in schools or by any of the parents I know.

poet123

FBaby wrote: »

well this thread truly depresses me. I can't believe that so many believes that hiting back is ok. No surprises I guess that so much bullying is going on because in the end, it is often unclear who starts what. My kids tell me once in a while about bullying and somehow it always seem to be the same kids involved with both parties persuaded that they are victims whilst the other is the obvious bully.

I am glad that myself and my kids so far have always managed to avoid any kind of bullying because they just stay away from these kids, yet are armed to avoid coming across as easy targets.

This thread make it sound like fights among kids are almost inevitable...really?

No, not inevitable, none of my four had the experiences I had, but if they had they could have dealt with it, and, they knew that if (as a last resort) they felt they had no option but to hit back I would have supported them.

fluffnutter

Oh dear. So many parents giving such mixed messages. It's not OK for him/her to hit you but it's fine for you to hit him/her. All the justifications about 'But he did it first!' are neither here nor there. Violence just breed violence and you're an ignorant fool if you think otherwise. Teach your kids to run fast not hit people.

FBaby

Well I have never felt the need to discuss the 'what if as a last resort' with my kids because we have never been there so there would be no point.

I would certainly hope that there would be a different alternative options that would lead to a positive outcome then have to resort to hiting back.

Posters have been saying that hiting back has solved the issue for them, but in many cases, it only makes it much worse.

balletshoes

FBaby wrote: »

well this thread truly depresses me. I can't believe that so many believes that hiting back is ok. No surprises I guess that so much bullying is going on because in the end, it is often unclear who starts what. My kids tell me once in a while about bullying and somehow it always seem to be the same kids involved with both parties persuaded that they are victims whilst the other is the obvious bully.

I am glad that myself and my kids so far have always managed to avoid any kind of bullying because they just stay away from these kids, yet are armed to avoid coming across as easy targets.

This thread make it sound like fights among kids are almost inevitable...really?

I don't think its inevitable - my daughter hasn't been in a fight at school.
But I don't think its beyond the realms of possibility that someone might have a go at her - and girls can be really really nasty. At age 12 one of her friends was attacked and assaulted in the school corridor by another girl of the same age, her head was being bashed against the wall. No-one at the school informed her parents until the end of the school day, and the school seemed surprised when her mum phoned the police and wanted to take it further! The school thought suspending the culprit for one day was punishment enough.

glitter_fairy

I agreed with you until my son was bullied and nothing was done. My son has been boxing since he was 5. He is not at all agressive, but when he finally snapped after over a year of abuse he broke the bullys nose and floored him with one punch. No one has bothered him since.

FBaby

balletshoes wrote: »

I don't think its inevitable - my daughter hasn't been in a fight at school.
But I don't think its beyond the realms of possibility that someone might have a go at her - and girls can be really really nasty. At age 12 one of her friends was attacked and assaulted in the school corridor by another girl of the same age, her head was being bashed against the wall. No-one at the school informed her parents until the end of the school day, and the school seemed surprised when her mum phoned the police and wanted to take it further! The school thought suspending the culprit for one day was punishment enough.

The school dealt with it appaulingly, but to me, that wouldn't be a reason to tell my daughter that she should have hit back. Calling the police was the right thing to do as a parent to show the culpit that it wasn't taken lightly by the victim and for the daughter to show that she was taken seriously.

FBaby

glitter_fairy wrote: »

I agreed with you until my son was bullied and nothing was done. My son has been boxing since he was 5. He is not at all agressive, but when he finally snapped after over a year of abuse he broke the bullys nose and floored him with one punch. No one has bothered him since.

You must be very proud