Children and violence

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

Nobody is saying you have to just passively let that stuff happen. If someone is actively hurting you its ok to use physical means to get them off and get away.

Some people here are talking about something completely different, where there is no immediate physical threat.

I am not sure they are.

In my case the lad involved would trip me up, laugh at me when I fell and repeatedly kick me when I was on the floor. It only stopped when I got up and ran away. I was in physical danger every time the the mood took him because he enjoyed seeing me cry. He enjoyed the power.

In school situations these things happen on the yard not in full view of staff, and if left unchecked who is to say they will stop at one blow?

ska_lover

pinkshoes wrote: »

Well at least I'm pleased to say that the school I work at does not tolerate violence, so sadly the two kids in the tutor group are on a warning, and if they hit anyone again, will probably face permanent exclusion.

From all the posts of parents who say they'd encourage their child to hit someone back, I guess it just shows what teachers are up against in the "fight" against violence.

I guess from the teachers post, it shows what the Parents are up against, in teaching their children the way to deal with a physical attack if it ever unfortunately happens to them

Person_one

balletshoes wrote: »

really? i think the majority of folk posting on this thread were talking about defending themselves when they'd been physically hurt first?

It doesn't seem like it to me, they seem to be talking about a 'drip drip' effect of low level violence and/or verbal abuse that apparently makes it acceptable for the bullied child to eventually 'snap' and lash out violently to the extent that the bullying stops due to fear.

balletshoes

pinkshoes wrote: »

Well at least I'm pleased to say that the school I work at does not tolerate violence, so sadly the two kids in the tutor group are on a warning,
and if they hit anyone again, will probably face permanent exclusion.

From all the posts of parents who say they'd encourage their child to hit someone back, I guess it just shows what teachers are up against in the "fight" against violence.

as a matter of interest, how many times has that happened to your knowledge? I've discovered that its not that easy for schools to permanently exclude a pupil, especially in secondary school, and not for a 2nd-time offence of fighting in school.

poet123

pinkshoes wrote: »

Well at least I'm pleased to say that the school I work at does not tolerate violence, so sadly the two kids in the tutor group are on a warning, and if they hit anyone again, will probably face permanent exclusion.

From all the posts of parents who say they'd encourage their child to hit someone back, I guess it just shows what teachers are up against in the "fight" against violence.

Obviously that is the route schools have to take, but as the form teacher do you know the background to the situation? Is one of them more often in trouble than the other? Has one child been complained about by parents?

Can you say hand on heart that this was just a case of two equally guilty kids slugging it out?

stix62

pinkshoes wrote: »

Personally I would laugh and walk away.

I wouldn't lower myself to the same pathetic level as the person who hit me.

Walking away would irritate them more than hitting them.

(and as an adult would press charges against the person who hit me).

I honestly hope you never find yourself in that situation. Laugh and walk away?
It's all very well saying that on here but in a real life situation it wouldn't be that easy.

ska_lover

pinkshoes wrote: »

Personally I would laugh and walk away.

I wouldn't lower myself to the same pathetic level as the person who hit me.

Walking away would irritate them more than hitting them.

(and as an adult would press charges against the person who hit me).

I doubt that walking away would irritate them more than hitting them. If you walked off from someone who was so angry with you that they resorted to violence, they would be gloating that they felt they had won the argument and beat you into submission.

Obviously they would only be gloating until the Police knocked their door though:rotfl:

I doubt very much that getting a punch would cause anyone to laugh. It wouldn't me. Not that I have ever been punched in the face, but I imagine laughter being the last of the emotions I may feel

marisco_2

pinkshoes wrote: »

I feel quite annoyed that parents are passing on the message that violence is acceptable.

I don't get the impression that this is the message being passed on to your pupils from their parents. What they are instilling in them is that you have to step up to bullies. The kids who really suffer through school are the ones that don't do this. As adults you can go out of your way to avoid confrontation. Its not so easy to do this at school and young people need to be able to take care of themselves. A bully is going to think twice before approaching a kid who retaliates, and risks ruining their imagined untouchable reputation.

I was mercilessly bullied for years. My parents approached the school many a time on my behalf and were told I was too nice, quiet and polite, that the other kids parents could not be reasoned with and they could do nothing. In my final year a teacher told me how to stick up for myself, and turned a blind eye when I wreaked revenge. The girl didn't know what hit her literally and never came near me again. We both went on to the same high school and I am sure if I hadn't put her straight she would have made my life a misery for years more.

securityguy

pinkshoes wrote: »

Well at least I'm pleased to say that the school I work at does not tolerate violence, so sadly the two kids in the tutor group are on a warning, and if they hit anyone again, will probably face permanent exclusion.

How many permanent exclusions have your school actually managed to do in the last, oh, five years? It's a hollow threat, because very few schools, and even fewer governors, actually follow it through.

stix62

pinkshoes wrote: »

......
If kids learn to lash out at this age, who are they going to hit when they are older? A partner that has annoyed them?

....

No, just another idiot that thinks it's ok to hit them.

I'm all for hitting back at someone who's hit you first (unless it's a woman) but never have and never would hit a partner - or any other female.