Major worries about benefits, mental health, rent and debt, clueless and can't cope

likelyfran

jacques_chirac wrote: »

I did - it was informative, and as the OP thanked it, we can assume they found it helpful. What do you find so 'disgusting' about it?

Are you actually for real?
READ the post in question again - 2nd and 3rd sentences, right near the top!
The fact that you think there is 'nothing wrong' with the attitude and phrasing therein, surely speaks volumes about you!
And someone thanked your post too, dear God I despair! :rotfl:

ScaredCrazy

By way of update:

Turns out the phone was working. When I told my girlfriend, she said that it was cut off the previous day but must have been restored after she paid the bill. I don't know where she could've gotten money to do that, or how the phone was ringing on that day, the whole situation seems a bit suspicious, but I am trying to think positively, there's enough mess already without adding to it. The important thing is the phone is working, and I have managed to book an appointment.

My girlfriend's grandfather has changed his mind and decided to offer help with the rent situation after all, albiet conditionally. I do not know if my girlfriend will be able to keep in line with his conditions yet (I've tried for years to help her with some of her spending problems, but to no lasting effect), but hopefully that will aleviate the biggest problem of rent and risk of homelessness. If I can get the bank sorted and apply for the remaining benefits, then I will be free to focus my efforts on recovering (I'm already a bit calmer today since the news) and learning to better manage my condition.

aimee0763 wrote: »

So sorry to read your story I hope this will help.

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?125278-Your-bank-is-taking-your-benefits-in-charges

Thanks, but my bank is not taking any benefits from me, I am not receiving any. My girlfriend however is getting the payments, and has her own bank charges, so I will try to get her to read this - it's difficult trying to communicate about the issues, but we seem to be getting somewhere at last.

Annisele wrote: »

Please tell your GP that. If he or she has prescribed medication, they intend you to take it - and if there's any reason you can't take it, they'll want to know.

Thank you, I shall do so.

Morglin

ScaredCrazy wrote: »

If I'm reading it right, the advocacy thing sounds to be exactly what I need, but all those links seem to be up north (Yorkshire in particular seems oddly popular). I think I've found something similar in this county, but it's confusing - I can't figure out if these things are only for people in care homes or if that's just one area they do, since all the webpages seem to talk about deprevation of liberty stuff.

I think I've got a good enough list of different options, but I need a priority to move forward on - trying to do everything at once is setting myself up for failure. As a first port of call, would I be better off contacting the advocacy people or citizen's advice?[/B


I fear I've misrepresented myself again, I most definitely do not want to self harm. I do however unfortunately end up hurting myself when I get overwhelmed, afraid and stressed (and this isn't the horrible stuff typically associated with self harm, but for example beating myself over the head with planks of wood until the pain is too great to think about anything else). I'm scared if I tell the GP I'm a danger to myself I might end up locked up for my own protection (which whilst it would solve some problems, would create others, and move me further away from getting my life back on track in the long run), and if not, all they'll be able to do is give me a prescription I can't afford to buy. The mental health team already know, but seem to be taking forever to get anywhere (21 days after my appointment and I've still heard nothing).

I'm sorry, I didn't want to suggest that self harming was some sort of lifestyle choice - but stress is making you lean towards it.

You need some professional help, to deal with multiple problems - try MIND, or if you are desperate, ring the Samaritans.

Once you can get help to deal with the separate problems, one by one, life will be easier.

Get some help as soon as you can.

Lin

BigAunty

ScaredCrazy wrote: »

My girlfriend's grandfather has changed his mind and decided to offer help with the rent situation after all, albiet conditionally. I do not know if my girlfriend will be able to keep in line with his conditions yet ... but hopefully that will aleviate the biggest problem of rent and risk of homelessness.



.

Even if you do pay your rent arrears off promptly and in full, you may have to consider that the landlady will still proceed with her intention to evict you. This is because she may have lost trust with you because you have paid late before and are now in arrears, she may want to find more reliable tenants.

Your best approach is not to panic, to hope for the best but also to prepare for the worst, namely that you may still have to find a new place in a few months time if she decides to proceed with enforcing the notice.

Therefore, once you are on top of your debts and benefits, your rent arrears are resolved, you should consider turning your attention to saving up for a deposit and first month's rent on a new property if it looks like she still wants to end the tenancy, for example.

Find out about any loans that benefit claimants can apply for that can fund moving to a new place. Look into becoming a member of a Credit Union which are designed for low income households and they can help you to save or get a low interest loan.

Read up on the Shelter website's section on homelessness to find out about the council's obligation to assist you if the landlady wants you out.

Get your social worker or advocate to help you apply for social housing. There are two routes into social housing, general applicants which is done via a waiting list or choice based letting where you bid for properties and emergency/homeless which the council sorts out for the homeless in priority need. The Shelter and Direct Gov websites explain more about social housing allocation and the two main methods of securing it.

Many landlords won't accept HB claimants as they have the reputation for being at risk of rent arrears, being harder to evict and so forth. Many landlords who do accept HB claimants will only do so if the tenant can offer a guarantor. This is someone who signs an agreement with the landlord making them responsible for paying the tenants rent arrears and any damage that they cause. Do you have a friend or relative who would be willing to be a guarantor? Many family and friends will be reluctant to be a guarantor as they face huge bills if the tenant doesn't pay the rent or damages the property for the entire duration of the tenancy, it's quite risky.