Major worries about benefits, mental health, rent and debt, clueless and can't cope

ScaredCrazy

cattermole wrote: »

(although she does have parents?) is that an option even with your problems, that you take their help whether they approve or not and try and work with them to give both of you a space and both get the help you need?

Her family have made it clear to her that they'll give her whatever help she needs, but only on the condition she has nothing more to do with me - unfortunately there's a history in her family (her mother keeps finding violent and abusive husbands/boyfriends, and when the rest of the family helps her, the husbands have taken it), and as far as they're concerned, I can't be trusted and will only abuse my girlfriend then leave her when I no longer need support. She's tried to tell them otherwise, but to no avail - given my reactions when scared of her sister, I can't really blame them (and like my family, they don't 'believe' in mental health problems). I've told my girlfriend if it comes to it she should go back to them and not suffer just because of me, but she says she wouldn't cope without me and wouldn't want to go on living, and her family are already overburdened trying to care for her siblings (lot of problems with her parents...).

ScaredCrazy

sh1305 wrote: »

You really need to look at sorting one issue at time. I honestly think that for now, getting a job isn't overly important. You clearly have other issues which need to be sorted out first.

Are you receiving any support from social services?

Which issue would be most important to work on first? I'd assume the rent, but the bank is charging me £22 every five days so that could quickly escalate. And then paying anything means getting money, which means benefits assessments, which means getting diagnosis and evidence from the metal health people. It's all so big and confusing, I'm not even sure where one issue starts and another ends.

As for social services, nothing yet. At my last appointment (10th Jan) I was told as things moved along there would be the chance for this, but everything with the mental health people has been a slow process (they said something about only having the funds to operate one day a month, though I assume I missed some kind of context there). I've not heard anything from them since that appointment, though they said there would be a letter, so until I get that I don't know what's happening next or when.

cattermole

Well if they are charging you every 5 days then it is escalating. So you need to speak to them about this or if you feel unable to speak, as you are obviously able to write and express yourself well in that respect email/write to them.

I think the only other advice I can give is to see your GP and/or book yourself in as a voluntary patient.

Also I think you it would be a good thing to put it all in writing to the various other parties involved particularly the Mental Health Team.

Take care

ScaredCrazy

Tried to phone Citizen's Advice for an appointment, our phone line has been cut off. There's a large fee to reconnect it, and the Internet may stop working at some point. I don't know what to do now.

Same problem trying to get doctor's appointment, but at least I'll be able to walk there at some point. Still don't know what to say to GP, beyond just getting a prescription I can't afford.

I can't find any email address on the Barclays site, just phone numbers, I need them to stop charging £22 all the time, but now can't talk to them.

I can't even write letters, I have no money for stamps or envelopes.

The letting agency sent a letter saying the landlady wants us out of the flat.

The only thing I can think that's left is going to these places in person, but it is difficult for me and I don't think I can manage all of them in time, I was focusing myself for Citizens Advice, but now I can't get an appointment for them. My state of mind is getting worse, I don't know how to make them all leave me alone. I don't know which I should try to go to, options that I can see are showing up at Citizen's Advice without an appointment, going to the letting agency, the bank, or the GP - but I don't know which is best or most urgent, or what I should say to any of them.

Indie_Kid

Is there an advocacy group in your area for people with mental health issues? They should be able to help with things like this.

cattermole

ScaredCrazy wrote: »

Tried to phone Citizen's Advice for an appointment, our phone line has been cut off. There's a large fee to reconnect it, and the Internet may stop working at some point. I don't know what to do now.

Same problem trying to get doctor's appointment, but at least I'll be able to walk there at some point. Still don't know what to say to GP, beyond just getting a prescription I can't afford.

I can't find any email address on the Barclays site, just phone numbers, I need them to stop charging £22 all the time, but now can't talk to them.

I can't even write letters, I have no money for stamps or envelopes.

The letting agency sent a letter saying the landlady wants us out of the flat.

The only thing I can think that's left is going to these places in person, but it is difficult for me and I don't think I can manage all of them in time, I was focusing myself for Citizens Advice, but now I can't get an appointment for them. My state of mind is getting worse, I don't know how to make them all leave me alone. I don't know which I should try to go to, options that I can see are showing up at Citizen's Advice without an appointment, going to the letting agency, the bank, or the GP - but I don't know which is best or most urgent, or what I should say to any of them.

If your phone is cut off then isn't this normally linked to your internet provider? So strange it hasn't already been cut off.

I think your first port of call needs to be the GP, it might do you good to walk down to the surgery, I'm sure they will see you if things are that bad straight away or if not within a very short space of time.

If you have no money and cannot get a prescription free of charge you need to tell you GP this and they will have to make emergency arrangements if they think you need immediate help. Perhaps you should show the posts you have made on here to the GP as a way of explaining how you feel?

ScaredCrazy

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Is there an advocacy group in your area for people with mental health issues? They should be able to help with things like this.

I looked up the advocacy groups, and found two which I am not sure if they are the right thing or not (the information is complicated, and mentions deprivation of liberty and independant mental capacity a lot, whilst not mentioning autism). I got a private message from a kind individual who very helpfully said they will speak to a friend and recommend the best one - I am waiting to hear back. I should probably just be patient, it's just I keep getting scared that the situation is getting worse.

ScaredCrazy

cattermole wrote: »

If your phone is cut off then isn't this normally linked to your internet provider? So strange it hasn't already been cut off.

I think your first port of call needs to be the GP, it might do you good to walk down to the surgery, I'm sure they will see you if things are that bad straight away or if not within a very short space of time.

I don't understand the phone thing myself, I don't usually have anything to do with it. Our ISP is a different company from the phone, but I'd have thought the unpaid line rental would stop it regardless. I also recall my girlfriend received a call from her grandfather yesterday. I don't think she would lie to me though.

The doctor's usually takes two weeks for an appointment. There's apparently an emergency thing too, which they say you have to phone at 8 am for, but I do not know if that applies - I am not bleeding or dieing, it's just stuff in my brain, and I am fearful of taking up time from somebody whose medical need is greater. Again, I still do not know what I should say to the doctor - my understanding is (and knowing me, this may well be completely wrong) that if I go in and say I can't cope with stress and anxiety, I get given a prescription for pills to calm me down (which I cannot afford, and am doubtful to the net effectiveness of).

cattermole

ScaredCrazy wrote: »

I looked up the advocacy groups, and found two which I am not sure if they are the right thing or not (the information is complicated, and mentions deprivation of liberty and independant mental capacity a lot, whilst not mentioning autism). I got a private message from a kind individual who very helpfully said they will speak to a friend and recommend the best one - I am waiting to hear back. I should probably just be patient, it's just I keep getting scared that the situation is getting worse.

We don't live in the days where people are locked up for no good reason. Those times have long passed. Apart from anything else it's too expensive! The majority of people are admitted to hospital as voluntary patients, receive treatment and return home when they are well enough.

Please go and see your GP and take it from there.

cattermole

ScaredCrazy wrote: »

I don't understand the phone thing myself, I don't usually have anything to do with it. Our ISP is a different company from the phone, but I'd have thought the unpaid line rental would stop it regardless. I also recall my girlfriend received a call from her grandfather yesterday. I don't think she would lie to me though.

The doctor's usually takes two weeks for an appointment. There's apparently an emergency thing too, which they say you have to phone at 8 am for, but I do not know if that applies - I am not bleeding or dieing, it's just stuff in my brain, and I am fearful of taking up time from somebody whose medical need is greater. Again, I still do not know what I should say to the doctor - my understanding is (and knowing me, this may well be completely wrong) that if I go in and say I can't cope with stress and anxiety, I get given a prescription for pills to calm me down (which I cannot afford, and am doubtful to the net effectiveness of).

If you show them the posts you have made on here, as suggested then I think they would do something more.