Upset brother in law at Christmas

coolcait

usignuolo wrote: »

... As my sister was taking out the turkey to the kitchen after the main course, to make room for the Yule log, she stumbled and spilt some gravy on the kitchen floor where it leads into the dining room. (The floor is dark brown rough surfaced tiles so not as bad as it might have been.)

I well remember the time that I spilt pork gravy on the same kind of tile, in my mum's kitchen. Remember Bambi on ice? Apparently everyone in my family did, after I'd mopped up the gravy liquid and walked back into the kitchen :eek:. Sweet of them - it was probably more like one of the Fantasia hippos... :rotfl:.

In all seriousness, the tile/gravy combination can be lethal. It's only due to my strong bones and substantial padding that it was "only my dignity (and arris) that was hurt". And it takes quite a bit of cleaning to make the tiles safe. (Due to the contact with gravy - not my arris! Just to be clear, given the unfortunate scatological connections raised by repeated references to a 'log' ;-))

Anyway my b-i-l has become very fussy about his house, everything has to be just so. So at this point everything stopped while he spent 15 minutes washing the floor and no one was allowed to proceed with the pudding course.

Why would you have wanted to continue with the pudding course when your host wasn't there?

My sister was trapped in the kitchen and not allowed back in with the Yule log until he had finished.

I think I exiled my mum out of her kitchen until the tiles were safe to walk on. Her bones are more fragile and less padded than mine. And I don't find it entertaining to see loved ones taking a pratfall.

By then my husband had dozed off and the boys had gone off to play computer games.

How rude!

I started to get a bit annoyed as I had made such an effort with the Yule log, and said, joshingly to my OH who woke briefly to ask what was happening, that my b-i-l seemd to have gone mad.

How rude!

B-i-l heard this and looked up from scrubbing the floor and then went into a brown sulk for the rest of the day. He went to bed at 7.00pm in a mood and my sister said he had made a special effort for us and was really unhappy about what I said.

And the (not very subtle) hint sailed right over your head.

This is not really like him, we give it and take it in our family and I suspect his mood is not helped by the medication he is taking.

No, you, your husband and your adult children were rude.

But we never did get to eat our Yule log together and it put a blight on the rest of our stay. I also felt he should recognise he was behaving a bit oddly and should at least have passed over the Yule Log for the rest of us to eat.

Others have pointed out the - perhaps slightly obsessive - focus on the Christmas swiss roll.

He was still upset the next day.I apologised on the day and the next day profusely to my b-i-l twice, which he has accepted, but there is now an atmopshere not least because I am nervous being around him (I am not known as the most tactful of people) and I definitely feel he holds it agains me for spoiling his christmas.

He has accepted your apology. You haven't forgiven him for taking the focus away from your Yule log, or for delaying its triumphant entry into the dining room during your husband and adult children's very short attention span. You hold it against him for spoling your Christmas - while absolving your husband and children from any responsibility for their rudeness.

I don't want to keep going on about it but feel the need to do something to improve the atmosphere. Any suggestions?

Stop thinking about the Yule log, and accept that you're the person who is still upset about the events of Christmas dinner?

If you had been a new poster - especially with all of those stylistic quirks - I suspect that people would have been even less sympathetic to your tale of woe.

marisco_2

Why did you apologise profusely to your bil? It is he who owes you, his wife and the rest of his guests an apology. To behave in such a ridiculous manner and cause unnecessary disruption to a meal on Xmas day was totally over the top. Good grief who spends 15 minutes wiping up a bit of gravy. With the hustle and bustle I dread to think of the things that got spilt and knocked over during my Xmas day. None of my family made a fuss or delayed proceedings nor made people feel uncomfy as your bil did. The bloke needs to get a grip and sort himself out or he will be a total billy no mates.

Georgiegirl256

Where's the OP got to? Probably baking another Yule Log! :rotfl:

Amanda65

Person_one wrote: »

Christmas dinner? Um, quite stodgy, isn't everybody's?

Not here! Fresh veg, lean meat, roasties etc? Large portions maybe but definitely not stodgy

pollypenny

I can see that OP is having a strop over her Yule log. However, it sounds as if the BIL was not just wiping up spilt gravy, but cleaning the whole floor.

Fault on both sides. Move on.

Georgiegirl256

Amanda65 wrote: »

Not here! Fresh veg, lean meat, roasties etc? Large portions maybe but definitely not stodgy

Not stodgy perhaps, but Christmas dinner does usually make people drowsy. Apparently there is something in the turkey that makes people tired.

Amanda65

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not stodgy perhaps, but Christmas dinner does usually make people drowsy. Apparently there is something in the turkey that makes people tired.

I've read that too - but would still be flippin annoyed if my OH dropped off within 15 minutes of eating if we were guests in someone else's house

Georgiegirl256

Amanda65 wrote: »

I've read that too - but would still be flippin annoyed if my OH dropped off within 15 minutes of eating if we were guests in someone else's house

Me too, I'd be nudging him in the ribs!

PenguinOfDeath

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not stodgy perhaps, but Christmas dinner does usually make people drowsy. Apparently there is something in the turkey that makes people tired.

Yes, Turkey does that. But so does drinking sherry, bucks fizz, beer etc during the day

Georgiegirl256

PenguinOfDeath wrote: »

Yes, Turkey does that. But so does drinking sherry, bucks fizz, beer etc during the day

Yup, and eating quality street and anything else you can get your hands on!

When I looked around the room at my MIL's, the DH and his brothers were all asleep!