Upset brother in law at Christmas

System

Next year spill gravy on your own kitchen floor and eat your own yule log.

To be honest instead of slagging the poor bloke off I'd have been grateful that someone had taken the cooking of the Christmas dinner out of my hands.

So ungrateful.:mad:

ps. Oh for a man that can cook!

Pollycat

No point crying over spilt gravy. (Sorry, I'll get my coat :rotfl:)

flashnazia wrote: »

Could your brother in law have obsessive compulsive disorder? If so, you calling him mad -even in jest - could be really upsetting...

I agree with this, I think someone who spends 15 minutes wiping up gravy could perhaps be a bit obsessive.

BUT, I think your remark about him being mad was pretty unkind, especially as you say he heard it.
Didn't you realise he would hear it?

I agree with the posters saying your OH was out of order falling asleep at the table.
I would have found that very rude behaviour if you & he were at my house.
And if you were my sister and had just been rude to my husband - knowing his moods and the fact he's taking medication that affect his moods on a day that is pretty stressful in the first place on top of what he'd done for you (cooking, giving up his room) - I would have left you in no doubt that I thought you and your husband were out of order and may well have suggested a suitable place for you to stuff your Yule Log. :eek:

Actually, I think your sister is key to resolving this issue.

If I were you, I'd go see her, apologise for saying what you did about her OH, tell her you're sorry about Christmas not going as everybody hoped and ask her to mention to her OH what you've said - then hope it can all get back to normal.

aileth

I missed the part where this all happened at his house.

I'd be pretty peeved if someone I was catering for called me mad in my own house.

tea_lover

aileth wrote: »

I missed the part where this all happened at his house.

I'd be pretty peeved if someone I was catering for called me mad in my own house.

Yup - he had guests even though it's pretty clear that can't be easy for him, gave up his own room, cooked for them. But because he wanted to clear up a spill when it happened instead of leaving it he gets his guests falling asleep, wandering off and insulting him.

I'd be fuming if I were him.

Who really thinks a swiss roll is more important than family?! Weird priorities there.

paulineb_2

I think it sounds like the BIL has issues, there is seriously no need to scrub a floor for 15 mins to get a bit of gravy off a floor. It all sounds a bit messed up.

I dont think personally that someone falling asleep after dinner is rude, Im sure lots of families eat and then sit down and have a snooze, I also dont think kids going off to play computer games is rude either, some kids or teens might get bored sitting around with family.

Im not from a large family and therefore every year I dont need to go to someones house and act in a way thats appropriate to a host, but I do know this, the person I spend christmas with wouldnt be mopping a floor for 15 mins if I spilled something, no one would shut me in a kitchen and no one would be falling out over what is basically a bit of sponge covered in chocolate.

They sound as bad as one another, however if they genuinely do have a good relationship hopefully things will be forgotten soon and next years yule log could make an entrance on a bed of sparklers.

paulineb_2

By the way I do know how to conduct myself in an appropriate manner, just that the Christmas I have with family is fairly relaxed, theres no way we would be having dramatics over gravy or a yule log.

I do know what its like to suffer from anxiety, Ive suffered from it myself in the past and sometimes a little thing can be the last straw but personally, I wouldnt want to spend christmas day in a house where everything had to be just so and I couldnt move a muscle for fear of someone hoovering up around me.

I think perhaps the OP feels a bit peeved because she was asked to make the cake and because of all the dramas with the gravy it never got eaten, again you could have just said at the time, can I have a bit of the cake and that would have been that.

Its really not worth falling out over gravy and some cake, however given that lots of people on these boards were having upsets about a few christmassy things that didnt go to plan, its obviously a time where people can feel a bit more hot tempered particularly if you are in an environment where everything has to be just so.

It wouldnt be somewhere I would be very comfortable with, but everyone is different and celebrates in a different way.

Person_one

Amanda65 wrote: »

I would be concerned that my husband had narcolepsy if he fell asleep within 15 minutes of eating !

A big stodgy meal like a Christmas Dinner always makes me drowsy, its all I can do to stay awake before finishing it!

dandelionclock30

I think is probably a good idea for you to have Christmas in your own home next year. So you can enjoy your yule log in the comfort of your own surroundings without worrying about relatives and everybody doing and saying the right thing.
It sounds very much like your BIL has depression/anxiety and that comment made about him being mad was really below the belt.

Amanda65

Person_one wrote: »

A big stodgy meal like a Christmas Dinner always makes me drowsy, its all I can do to stay awake before finishing it!

You might feel like it but seriously - within 15 minutes? How 'stodgy' are your meals :rotfl::rotfl:.

Also surely not at someone else's house? I would consider it the height of bad manners. I completley get the post dinner feeling when you are stuffed and sat on the sofa in front of the TV for a few hours but it wasn't even that long a break.

Person_one

Amanda65 wrote: »

How 'stodgy' are your meals :rotfl::rotfl:.

Christmas dinner? Um, quite stodgy, isn't everybody's?