OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

mothernerd

Lost a long post, will try to do it briefly. Hugs Hayleypoppins. I hope the new year is a better one for you and that you get all the support you need.

Monday washing machine went on strike (I had washed loads of bedding) so spent the day baling out and coaxing it into working again.

Tuesday tried to kidnap my mother. In addition to existing problems at the beginning of December she was diagnosed with cataracts (2 ops in 2016), diabetes (side effect of other medication) and shingles. Shingles has come back, her cousins contacted me as they were concerned. I went to try to sort things but ended by wrapping presents and finally driving round in my brother's van after 11pm delivering them. Lots of issues but don't want to be recognised in RL.

Sale of my house and purchase of mum's bungalow is proceeding (if people will stop meddling and trying to substitute stupid plans for those which are in place). Tentative completion date of January 8th (not counting chickens).

Yesterday I had a first appointment with the counsellor I asked to be referred to and I am seeing her again on New Year's Eve. Juggling too many balls and in November, felt I was no longer on top of things. Concentrating on healthy eating and other basics.

Laptop has been ill for a while - substituted DS3's old cable, battery was only charging for short periods, picked up loads of ads and finally stopped responding. Took it to laptop infirmary at noon. The man isn't always there but was hoping to get the phone no. It had been painted out but he arrived as I was crossing the road to see if there was a notice on the door. I picked it up at 4pm and it's lovely (except for the bit where I have to remember/ find the passwords to get back into all my stuff). I also went back to the SM as they had a little black fake fur hat (mum mentioned wanting one to complete a 'special occasion' outfit) and bus hopped back to her's to deliver it (plus ankle socks and longer socks for her to borrow)

So having lost several days, the house isn't quite where I would like it to be but it's clean enough, tidy enough, there's room to sit down, beds with clean bedding and baubles, fairy lights and candles. I have food and more ingredients to make things when I feel like it.

I've had a bath and washed my hair and am currently in bed as my feet feel like lead and my ankles and knees are aching. Normally I would get dressed in my good clothes at this point but will rest a while longer. DS3 has gone to his beloved's parents after a tearful phone call from her last Saturday. He will stay for as long as he can cope with her mother. I am happy because I think he would have been very sad (even though they play games and talk via the computer every night) and as I feel a little fragile currently, I wasn't sure I could summon the extra energy to be his cheerleader.

So to all singlies, a happy and peaceful Christmas, however you choose to spend it. Special thanks to Lavender Bees for starting this column and I hope you and your friends enjoy the different direction you have decided to take this year.

Mrs_Money

Hi all, I've been directed over here from this thread-
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?p=69809401&posted=1#post69809401
And am wondering if any singletons on here have any tips for someone suddenly living on their own? My husband died 5 months ago so after 37 years together I am suddenly alone. As I have discovered, the loss of a "joint" life is a bereavement in itself- on top of the original one.
Yesterday brought it home to me that (of course) if I don't go out I could spend days not seeing/talking to anyone! Stupid really, but the reality hit me and I had a very low day. I'm on leave at the moment but only work part time in a mainly home based job I don't like very much and am a year off state retirement age -if I don't get made redundant beforehand. I certainly wouldn't want to retire and sit in the house alone! I know I need to join some things and meet some people, but I can't be always out, so how do I adjust to living alone?
All suggestions gratefully received!

FunBrum

Hello Mrs Money!

There are lots of clubs out there for you to join and you can meet all sorts of lovely people.
Take a trip to your local library, they should have a wealth of information for you concerning clubs and courses if that's takes your fancy.
Look into what's on in your area, there's lots of free activities which will not only get you out and about, but will introduce you to like minded people.
I personally have no qualms about joining in or visiting new places by myself.
I also go on holiday abroad a few times a year, and have met some lovely people that have become friends.
Please don't feel isolated, and don't give up being happy just because you are single.
I know it must be hard for you and my heart goes to you and your sad loss.
If there is anything else I can do please post, and I'm sure everyone on here will help you if they can, as I will too.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Hello & Nappy New Year to all, & welcome to FunBrum, Hayleypoppins & Mrs Money :wave:

This thread has been fairly quiet lately, so I hope everyone has had a great holiday.

Mrs Money - if you read back over this thread then you'll see I'm really not one to give advice about friends & having a decent social life (unless you want to read a few "here's how not to do it" posts ). It certainly sounds as if you & Haleypoppins have been through the mill, so sorry to hear your stories. I did find the volunteering website helpful for when I was at a loose end, but if you're working that may not suit you. Work colleagues have joined different branches of the WI over the years & have a grand time, but there isn't a group near enough to me to join.

Elona - any updates on buying the chalet bungalow yet? Fingers crossed for you.

My plan to hunker down over Xmas was so successful that I haven't spoken to anyone from the 23rd onwards (apart from duty phone calls to Ma & grunty teens). I have been walking a lot when the weather has allowed, & I'm just off for another long walk now in between the showers.

Hope all have a good NYE - I doubt I'll stay up to hear the bongs as I'm usually tucked up by 10 :rotfl: Really hoping for a better year, & planning on just quietly getting on with it, alone. No major resolutions here, except for not telling others how my life is - I can't bear all the comments about how if I just did x,y,z I'd be "better" & be more deserving of a partner/friends.Not that I want to cultivate an air of mystery, but I do want to feel less wrong (in their eyes) so I'm hoping not to give anyone the chance to comment & head them off before they can, so to speak. My attempts at trying to find single friends hasn't been successful, so I'm not going to bother for a while. That probably sounds like I'm miserable & I'm not - what upsets me most is having to argue my point with others who disagree.

Best wishes to all for 2016!

elona

JKS

I hope you have as good a new year as possible and that next year is better for you. You sound like a lovely friend to me.

I have made a couple of offers for the bungalow and they keep wanting more :eek: The final straw was when they generously offered to leave the conservatory furniture, upstairs carpets and a couple of hardly used beds if I gave them £12,000 more :mad:

I checked the photos and the furniture is hardly cutting edge if you know what I mean and I have lots of my own furniture so I did not leap at the idea strangely enough. I reiterated what I felt was a more than fair offer and left the ball in their court.

As the bridge has collapsed and the EA and solicitor are both flooded I have not heard anything back yet.

Happy new year to everyone and let's hope 2016 is better.

Mrs_Money

Hello JKS and thanks for your thoughts. Strange how some folk want dish out judgemental ideas to us isn't it? You know what's right and no one should dictate to you. I've been lucky so far as family have just gently made some suggestions and left it at that whilst constantly offering their company, giving me dinner (don't mind about the food but I'd go anywhere for the company to eat it with!), taking me out for walks and bringing goodies to eat at my house.
Single friends are rare in my world too. I have one who is divorced, but she works full time and is a long time singleton- so she seems endlessly "busy"!
WI is an idea - I should try it really, they meet at in a hall the end of my road! Trouble is I'm a bit frail emotionally at the moment and don't feel like going to places on my own and meeting new people... that will change I hope.

mum2one

A flying hi apologies not been around its been but hetic and trying to sort everything,

We had a quiet Xmas , could have throttled my mother Xmas she went in a mood over hear present from dad - she wanted a mobile phone - now there is nothing wrong at all with hers but to keep the peace I got one, she opened dads present 1st - wasn't a phone she through the biggest strop - I'd got the present for him (otherwise be charlie perfume) she had a radley purse and a skirt - she apologised about 3 hrs later - the mood had took.

Then boxing day came down with flu /chest infect ion /Sickie bug, dd now followed suit -

Now dd and I are in Lapland... Came yesterday home on Sunday. Its magical time, just been on a snowmobile ( the sledge which was pulled as mobility restricts a lot, trying to make some new memories xxxx

karmacookie

Just popped in re Kirstie's home made dog buscuits

I personally prefer to use rice flour or glutten free flour much better for pooches tummies I also read recently that instant mashed potatoes can be used instead of flour but not tried that yet.

Due to circumstances i haven't done much doggie backing in a while but could do to start again. My wee terrier is quite highly strung so I put chamomile and lemon balm into the biscuits, much cheaper than buying Lily's Kitchen bed time ones

I also don't prat about rolling and cutting unless for gifts, I just roll a teaspoon of the mixture into a ball then squash down onto the backing tray.

If you have a google there are loads of recipes, a favourite here is tuna tray bake.

The best part of cooking for the dogs is that they are always very grateful and don't complain if things don't turn out well

jools1985

Can I join in this thread please? I've been single for almost 6 years since my lovely husband died. I'm very independent and mostly upbeat but sometimes - urgh it can be difficult being the single person.

Mrs_Money wrote: »

Hello JKS and thanks for your thoughts. Strange how some folk want dish out judgemental ideas to us isn't it? You know what's right and no one should dictate to you. I've been lucky so far as family have just gently made some suggestions and left it at that whilst constantly offering their company, giving me dinner (don't mind about the food but I'd go anywhere for the company to eat it with!), taking me out for walks and bringing goodies to eat at my house.
Single friends are rare in my world too. I have one who is divorced, but she works full time and is a long time singleton- so she seems endlessly "busy"!
WI is an idea - I should try it really, they meet at in a hall the end of my road! Trouble is I'm a bit frail emotionally at the moment and don't feel like going to places on my own and meeting new people... that will change I hope.

Mrs Money I'm so sorry to hear you are so recently bereaved. Emotional frailty is normal but so difficult to overcome. Have you heard of Way Up? It's a place for widowed people in their fifties and sixties and has been life changing for me. I joined them 3 months after being widowed and have made so many good friends through it. The web address is http://www.way-up.co.uk I've also joined a few Meetup groups mainly to get out for walks with company.

BookWorm

Just wanted to stop in and wish everyone a (belated) happy new year

BW x