OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

Patchwork_Quilt

Thank you Mothernerd. I never really thought of claiming anything but I should investigate this. Thank you for the hint about Council Tax too. It just shows how naive I am. As for charity shops, I already volunteer in a local shop one afternoon a week, and I find it fascinating! They don't take furniture but the idea about other people's cast offs is excellent. I'm not too proud. Please don't worry about 'lecturing'. I am open to any advice!

monnagran

Patchwork: I have only just spotted your post.
I do hope that your solicitor is well versed in sorting out the financial situation.

I'm not up to speed on the law at the moment and my own divorce was over 30 years ago but you may find that your finances will be better than you fear. If your ex's income is much greater than yours he may have to make you an allowance. Also any pension plan that he has will be taken into account and some provision from it may be made for you.

The trouble is that you will not be in the best emotional state to start fighting for your rights. You will be going through a time of grief and mourning and I hope that you have enough support from your family and friends.
Just cling on to the thought that you WILL be happy again and everything will work out right for you. Many woman have journeyed along the path that you are treading now and they have not only survived they have triumphed. You will too. Honestly.

You are in a good place on this forum. There will be lots of good advice and oceans of support. Let yourself be carried along by it.

Hugs.

x

melodramaticme

monnagran wrote: »

Patchwork: I have only just spotted your post.
I do hope that your solicitor is well versed in sorting out the financial situation.

I'm not up to speed on the law at the moment and my own divorce was over 30 years ago but you may find that your finances will be better than you fear. If your ex's income is much greater than yours he may have to make you an allowance. Also any pension plan that he has will be taken into account and some provision from it may be made for you.

The trouble is that you will not be in the best emotional state to start fighting for your rights. You will be going through a time of grief and mourning and I hope that you have enough support from your family and friends.
Just cling on to the thought that you WILL be happy again and everything will work out right for you. Many woman have journeyed along the path that you are treading now and they have not only survived they have triumphed. You will too. Honestly.

You are in a good place on this forum. There will be lots of good advice and oceans of support. Let yourself be carried along by it.

Hugs.

x

Hear, hear.
I was divorced sixteen years ago after 22 years of marriage. You need time and support to recover from divorce, but it does get better and you find your own strengths and positives. Finances are under your own control, and without a mortgage to pay it can be easier to manage your bills and other spending. I went back to full time work but was on a very low wage to start with, but found I could manage because there was only me to decide where that money should be spent.

mothernerd

Your son will be eligible for the Student discount on Council Tax, which applies to both his term time address (will pay nothing if sharing a house with only other students,if he's in university property I think they apply en bloc for it) and his home address. Because he does not have to pay council tax that makes you a sole occupier (25% off). The form he needs to get from university is called student discount exemption form (had a sleep and just remembered the proper name).

It's probably worth reading through the benefits board or doing a quick check. You may get some Working Tax Credits although the government has plans to scrap it (replacing everything with universal credit which is much harder to get). Despite what the 'scroungers' programmes would have you believe, there is far more owed to people in unclaimed benefits which they are entitled to.

This is not charity. When I started work my National Insurance contributions were to pay for the National Health Service, my pension but also entitled me to claim a certain amount when I was sick or unemployed (I was made redundant for the first time at the age of nineteen). Over the years the 'entitlement' to these has reduced and legislation has been introduced requiring additional contributions (pensions, dentists) or eligibility criterion.

You also need to check your pension eligibility. The years you have worked and earned enough to pay N.I. contributions count, the years you were getting child benefit for your son (presuming this was in your name) are covered by something called 'home responsibilities protection' count. You need 35 years contributions to get the new full standard pension but don't panic - it's fairly simple to check how many you have now - I used to get a letter on years when I hadn't paid enough (more advice available on here) and as another contributor has said, if your husband has a pension you are entitled to a slice of that (as that was income you were expecting to have available to you in retirement and was paid for by your joint income whilst married).

We may have come to be singlies by different routes but we are always here to offer support and sympathy and celebrate any successes (we even have pyjama days).

FunBrum

Patchwork Quilt I haven't really got much to add, but just to say, there is life after divorce, and you are in the right place on here.:)
Just to reassure you.....Yes I think you will be fine on £11k. I live on slightly over £7k pa, and I manage to live well and have at least 2 holidays a year! I think it's all about planning.;)
Good luck with your new life.:A

Patchwork_Quilt

Wow! Thank you all for taking the time to read and reply. I am extremely grateful. I know that MSE is a warm place to come and I knew I'd get some help on here. Thank you for the details Mothernerd, and for the encouragement melodramaticme and monnogran. I have started this process with a solicitor recommended by a friend who has worked with her professionally. And I am looking forwards, in a strange way, to some independence. Lastly, thank you FunBrum for the reassurance. I have of course added up all the bills and so on, but they are for a large house and a family of two/three, and my salary didn't seem enough. However, you are obviously doing really well on less, which is extremely helpful to know. We will see how the settlement works out.

On a happier note, I have been to see our counsellor for the last time, since there is no marriage to counsel about, and she assures me I have done everything I can. I'm sitting down to the beginning of this thread and shortly I will have some chocolate raisins, an essential part of life and one that can be bought in small buckets from the supermarket sweet self-serve dispenser. A pleasant evening to you all ��

mum2one

There's no easy way to say this we've had some bad news this week, my dads cancer has got worse - he's been given weeks..
We were told November last yr that he was given 12 to 24 mths - so thought we had time...
Xx

elona

mum2one

I am so sorry to hear your news. I hope that your Dad can be himself for as long as possible and that things can be managed to be as pain free and dignified as possible.

FunBrum

mum2one I'm so very sorry.
I can truly empathise with you.
Sending you a big hug sweetie:grouphug:

pollyanna_26

mum2one A lurker here since LBs first ever post .
Hope you find the strength you need in the forthcoming days and your dad has a peaceful end .
polly