OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

BookWorm

Thanks JKS - I'm actually off work tomorrow...so I'm sure that it will indeed be better

You sound like you need a dodgy hug :grouphug:... I can totally understand how you feel.....I don't know if it will make you feel any better...but you have us.... ....
... of course that could make you :eek:..... but I hope not....

I can sympathise about just wanting a friend to be honest with you. I've had similar myself recently. However, I think we've got to the stage where it has broken down between us. It's sad..but I think sometimes it's just the way things have to be.

ellie99

What a rubbish day BookWorm, at least your weekend starts early this week :T
And now you've had your puncture it'll probably be ages before you have another one! (although I once had 2 at once, one spare isn't much use then :rotfl:)

JKS, I'm annoyed on your behalf, that's poo at your evening out being cancelled (are we allowed to say poo?) Housework should *never* come before seeing friends in my opinion. Maybe you're right and she was using it as an excuse.

I have a good friend (well, she was) but I never really see her now because she never calls or arranges anything, and I got to the stage where I thought it's not on always being me who does the running. Especially as I have to phone her landline, leave a message with her adult kids, and then wait to see if she'll phone back. She once cancelled a night out after I was showered and changed ready to go, and for the first time this year I didn't get a birthday card. It's hard to let 25 years of friendship go, but it looks like that's what's happening. I'm a bit of a coward when it comes to confrontation though, maybe I should have said something to her.

If it makes you feel any better, this weekend I am working Saturday, then picking up and delivering a lawnmower, not mine, then doing laundry and assorted chores...:rotfl:
My weekend will be as rubbish as yours :rotfl:

Chin up JKS, and keep on keeping on, you're doing the necessaries, and you're bringing up children on your own, no easy task. And it does get easier as they get older, you'll get a bit more free time one day

Oh, and make sure you tell us all when it's your birthday, I can guarantee plenty of virtual birthday cake

Byatt

Jks, I'm sorry your friend let you down...if it's any consolation, a friend from a long time ago, said to me once that she wasn't the Samaritans...I know I can go on a bit, but I was also there for her...

It is hard to let friendships go, but often they are dying a natural death...I've learned that friends come and go, time and life experiences change us, and when we are on different pages it's hard to find a common ground. One friend in America just stopped communicating, well she does send me a gift on my birthday, but there's no other contact and being sent a gift, which should make me feel ok, actually makes me angry. We were like sisters...in contact with each other several times a day, and we had both supported each other when our marriages were a mess. I just don't understand...:o

Anyway, it's not just you Jks, people are just weird...:p

I could go on, but I won't...I'll have you all crying in your wine...:rotfl:

Mum2one, well done on the good news! You must be so relieved :T

mum2one

add to the bathroom incidents...

I blocked the loo, poor dad had to deal with it, fetched him a coat hanger, he used it and ten said do you want it back.... NO....

Another one

Years ago I was staying over at a boyfriends, - mothers house, got stuck in the bathroom, the lock broke on me, 45 mins I was still stuck, tried shouting no avail, everyone asleep, I ended up having to break the lock with a razor, all cut marks over my fingers - (she rented rooms out, as well as bf, mum, there was 3 lodgers - they did repair it, never stayed again!!

---
Another one - yrs ago, I was 14, I looked after 2 girls on a sat morning and school hols, this one time we'd been out and the girl had looked after the front door key, she had lost it, we didnt know till we got back, the house was a victorian 3 story (including cellar), so we had to lift the grill off the air vent for the cellar, drop the youngest down there in through the air vent = then let the rest of us into the house.... after that they closed the airvent off...x

BookWorm

Morning All

Why is it so much easier/nicer to get up without an alarm?
Day off work, the sun is shining and it's also payday :j - today is a good day!

Sending you all good Friday vibes

JustKeepSwimming_2

ellie99 wrote: »

...JKS, I'm annoyed on your behalf, that's poo at your evening out being cancelled (are we allowed to say poo?) Housework should *never* come before seeing friends in my opinion. Maybe you're right and she was using it as an excuse.

Oh yes, we are allowed to say poo :rotfl: but probably not all the other words I was muttering quietly like a madwoman last night.

I have a good friend (well, she was) but I never really see her now because she never calls or arranges anything, and I got to the stage where I thought it's not on always being me who does the running. Especially as I have to phone her landline, leave a message with her adult kids, and then wait to see if she'll phone back. She once cancelled a night out after I was showered and changed ready to go, and for the first time this year I didn't get a birthday card. It's hard to let 25 years of friendship go, but it looks like that's what's happening. I'm a bit of a coward when it comes to confrontation though, maybe I should have said something to her.

If it makes you feel any better, this weekend I am working Saturday, then picking up and delivering a lawnmower, not mine, then doing laundry and assorted chores...:rotfl:
My weekend will be as rubbish as yours :rotfl:

Chin up JKS, and keep on keeping on, you're doing the necessaries, and you're bringing up children on your own, no easy task. And it does get easier as they get older, you'll get a bit more free time one day

Oh, and make sure you tell us all when it's your birthday, I can guarantee plenty of virtual birthday cake

Sorry to hear you're not having an exciting weekend, flying to Madrid with a designer handbag stuffed with cash....

Byatt wrote: »

Jks, I'm sorry your friend let you down...if it's any consolation, a friend from a long time ago, said to me once that she wasn't the Samaritans...I know I can go on a bit, but I was also there for her...

It is hard to let friendships go, but often they are dying a natural death...I've learned that friends come and go, time and life experiences change us, and when we are on different pages it's hard to find a common ground. One friend in America just stopped communicating, well she does send me a gift on my birthday, but there's no other contact and being sent a gift, which should make me feel ok, actually makes me angry. We were like sisters...in contact with each other several times a day, and we had both supported each other when our marriages were a mess. I just don't understand...:o

Anyway, it's not just you Jks, people are just weird...:p

I could go on, but I won't...I'll have you all crying in your wine...:rotfl:

Mum2one, well done on the good news! You must be so relieved :T

Thank you all so much for your kind words & support, & BW for your dodgy hug - it helps so much. I'm feeling so tired this morning & not because of the wine, as I only managed to drink half a glass before DS wanted me in the bathroom - he has a really upset stomach so he's off school today & I was up a few times in the night with him. Just when you think it can't get any worse I can now add looking after sick kids & extra cleaning to my list of w/e chores :rotfl:

Was tossing & turning thinking I can't leave him home alone ill, but I can't afford to lose a whole day's pay. This morning though DD has a high temperature & feels rubbish, so she's off school too & is sensible enough to call me if there's a real emergency (I hope ). I expect they'll just sleep until lunchtime & I've made sarnies so they should be OK but I do still feel very, very guilty.

No idea what I'll come home too, but at least I won't lose pay. There's a rumour going around that hours are going to be cut, so I need to keep my head down & hope they don't notice me.

Byatt, you're spot on with the common ground quote - any idea how you find new friends with common ground in RL? Apart from my age & gender, I don't seem to have anything in common with any of my friends & acquaintances :rotfl: & all the single parents are stuck at home. Although weirdly there don't seem to be any single mums around my age who meet up nearby from a single parent group I followed online; they're all in their 20's & their kids are much younger (obviously :rotfl:) so I don't feel I'd fit in even if I could get to a meet (which I can't as they meet in the daytime when I'm at work).

I don't like her Samaritan's quote - hardly helpful. When friends know about your life & how you don't have the same support networks that they do, it seems a strange thing to say.

Maybe your friend in the US doesn't like being reminded about the difficult times that you shared, & her way of re-inventing her life is to drop you, so she's not forced to confront those thoughts? Or maybe I've got my Pollyanna head on & thinking the best of people when I really should learn to wise up :rotfl:

I'm sooooo glad its Friday - have a good day all & thanks again :wave:

melodramaticme

When friends left my life I found this quote helpful, particularly the first paragraph :


People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

janb5

I wish I could thank you twice for writing that quote- it is spot on!

LavenderBees

:eek: Sick kids and extra cleaning...do foster children do this being sick business? Or is it just if they are born to you? :eek:

:rotfl:

On the friends letting you down/disappointing you subject, I think we can all relate to that. Anyone who has any relationship with anyone else will be let down at some point. Some of it is inadvertent, some of it is deliberate, some of it...even when you spell it out....they can't see it! I am also sure I have disappointed others, though I try not to.

I think I have come to accept that sometimes you need to just throw the towel in, and I'm sure for each of us, the time we reach that point is different, and it will also depend what else is going on in your life, too.

But honestly...JKS - I believe you will feel better to take control. Letting someone constantly let you down chips your already low confidence. Your choices to me are - accept the constant erosion of your trust and confidence, let the friendship go gracefully (i.e. walk away) or a simple statement of "this friendship is not working for me any more - what I need from this friendship is..." is all that is needed.

And regardless of which you choose, you get out and find other more sympatico friends.

Simples

Well, ok not THAT simple. I usually just walk away but the last twice, I have tried the "this is not working for me, what I'd like us to do is...try this, that and t'other", and for one, got a load of "it's all your fault" back which isn't really friendly is it? :oEspecially as I had very carefully tried to indicate it takes two to be friends and two to fall out rather than finger pointing.

And the 2nd one...? Well, she just doesn't agree, thinks our friendship is great (which it is as long as it is just her who needs the help and support...it has been sadly lacking on the reciprocation front). So, for both, I put a lot of effort into trying to address shortcomings, and part of me wishes I'd just saved that effort and walked away :cool:. But this is the new mature me...trying to build relationships...very wearing! :rotfl:

Finding new friends takes effort, and a sustained plan, I think. But lack of energy or time to find new friends is not a good reason to put up with cr*p from so-called friends. That just makes you feel small.

And you're not small... you're lovely and lovable, and need to believe it.

:A...

LB xx

JustKeepSwimming_2

Will catch up later - not long home from work, cooking tea (sadly the tea fairy forgot to show up again) when DS had an accident Not just a little accident, but a full on man sized accident. Bless him, he was far more upset than I was, especially when he realised I was going to hose him down in the shower :rotfl:

I literally have too much carp to deal with for one person. Pass the wine someone.....

Or a gun