OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

ellie99

springdreams wrote: »

I think you need to have been in a long term serious relationship before you can truly say you prefer to be single or in a relationship. You need to have experienced both in order to be able to choose. You can't very well say you prefer being single if all you have ever been is single.

It's complicated, isn't it? Everyone's life is different. I expect there are some people out there who have always been single and know that's what they want.

Also our opinions may change depending on our age and experiences. I have been lucky enough to have had a good marriage, and it wasn't a choice to have it end (I was widowed). 20 years and a couple of exes later, I'm much more cynical, and not so interested in a relationship. I sometimes feel like I'm betraying the memory of DH by saying I'm happy being single! If I hadn't had problems with those exes my opinion may have been different, we react to what happens to us in life.

Now...has anyone got 20-something single daughters for my sons? :rotfl:

mothernerd

Yes interesting discussion today. I have always been a very low maintenance person - I only started shaving my legs in my late forties because I started to get hairs on my toes (Little hairy hobbit toes as my sons and one of my tutors once said - the tutor said it because we were discussing a girl who had a bad sunbathing experience on a college trip, apparently she had used some sort of hair removing cream beforehand and he led with 'you know those' and I said why do you think I wear long skirts, so I don't have to bother).

My leg hair was always very fine and I found the idea that some man would be on the verge of *** only to recoil in horror at the fine pale hair on my legs and say that he couldn't perform as ludicrous. I took the same line with men who couldn't do washing up or similar chores - if it was so threatening to their manhood, they couldn't have much to start with.

I think men of all ages are generous in their estimation of their own and other men's attractiveness whilst both men and women spend a lot of time judging other women's looks (and let's not the vast industries counting on our insecurities to sell their wares and inventing new 'problem areas' every week). A salesman once grabbed hold of my hand in a shopping centre, held it up to the light and started to describe what he could do for the ridges on my nails - my hands and nails worked perfectly fine (I wasn't even aware of the ridges) so I pulled my hand back and carried on walking. Remember the Mitchell and Webb sketch where the salesmen, with the aid of the brunette in the lab coat, have persuaded people to start brushing the roof of their mouths with the back of the special toothbrush (even though they know it makes people gag) and are moving on to persuade them to cut off part of their ears.

I'd be very reluctant to share my space with anyone (still not got rid of the youngest son and have tentative plans to share with mum if/when anything happens to her partner but it will only be after long discussion and she's not having charge of the kitchen). Not sure how I would meet anyone now but it would definitely be keeping separate living spaces. I have had a toyboy many years ago and apart from a certain 'youthful vigor', he was very middle-aged in many respects. Maybe we could have a toyboy in a cupboard as well as the handyman. He could come for a visit when we needed cheering up, then go back in the cupboard before he started to give us blank looks when we mentioned records/ events from before he was born - probably just the 'records' would do it. My sons used to tell me off if I said I was going to the record shop (when we still had one). They sell cds, they said. They sell recordings, the format in which they are presented is irrelevant, was my reply.

I only have nine years to retirement now, so have spent the day practicing - sleeping (only had 5 hours the previous night), reading and sewing.

Horace

Sorry Ellie no kids here.

Why would anyone inject themselves with poison because that is what botox is (it comes from botulism)? I guess that people must be vain or have more money than sense. I used to like that chap from Dead or Alive (he used to be so handsome) but he started to have botox and now he has overly thick lips that remind me of an old grouper and not in the least bit attractive.

Mum rang me to see how I was and to remind me about some birthdays (I need to go to the supermarket to get a card for a 4 year old girl). She started on at me about SW and demanded to know how much weight I had lost so I said that I had lost some, in the end I told her that I had lost about 5lbs. She seemed quite pleased but said that she could understand why I wasn't losing weight with SW as she had seen some local leaders in the paper who were all extremely fat - she thinks that the leaders should be thin and then they would be more inspiring. I finish with SW soon and I am working with my doctor so that I eat more and that I only eat at certain times of the day and no food after 7pm at night.

I think mum wants to get me a nutribullet thing because she had heard something on the radio about it - I said that it wouldn't be any good for me because I wouldn't use it. She seems to think that I would and that I should add a green vegetable to it too - I can think of nothing more vile and anyway I like my veg to look like veg.

moneyistooshorttomention

Like the "practicing for retirement" comment:rotfl:.

Is wondering whether I might land up "handing in my notice at work" today and I'm not even blinkin' at work now, as I am retired. The voluntary work thing I do with Awkward Biddy in group. Nowhere to sideline AB to I'm afraid Horace:(. Anyways...it has occurred to me that I sometimes feel rather like a supervisor is telling me what to do and complaining if they don't like it...and I have to take it and "keep my mouth shut" because I need the money.

Then I thought "Hang on a little minute. I'm retired now. This isn't a (part-time) job. This is voluntary work and we are all volunteers and no-one is getting paid..so why is one of them "telling" me what to do then?". With it being voluntary work, then we obviously all decide together whats what and don't have to "put up and shut up" or the salary will stop coming in. Been there/done that and its my time now at last.

If I do decide to "hand in my notice" wonders if I'll get issued a P45? (Pay for the current tax year = £0. Tax = £0):rotfl:

I'm used to getting appreciated for the voluntary work I have done in various groups over the years and the supervising/ordering around being something I have to put up with at work (ie paid work). No wonder it feels like something is wrong here...

I've been the only one sometimes going in to help "supervisor figure" sometimes...ie that would be "unpaid overtime" then?

I don't need this....so...

Horace

Money just tell them that you are leaving - I am sure there is other voluntary work that you can do where you can feel appreciated and not be ordered about. When it starts feeling like a chore then it is time to move onto pastures new.

I got up at 10am today - I really don't know what is wrong with me because I usually bound out of bed at 8am, I am guessing that my body needs sleep so I have to obey it. I didn't even read much last night - only a page before I switched the light off.

moneyistooshorttomention

Horace,

I went in today mind all made-up to say I was leaving. I found I was being apologised to for the way things have been/etc. I've made my points quite clearly I feel and I shall play it by ear and see how things go, but am minded to give the (part-time/voluntary) job a "probation period" to see if it comes up to scratch.

Time will tell, but I've made it pretty clear that, as I'm not being paid then I don't have to put up with anything I don't choose to and won't.

Basically, I feel that there has been some discrimination going on and I've felt a bit on the receiving end of it and I've made it clear I don't agree with discrimination and won't do it and wont accept it...take it or leave it. I just never thought someone like me would be on the receiving end (British person in my own country/heterosexual/non-disabled)..

I'll see how things pan out now...whilst remembering that advert. phrase of "Because you're worth it...." as a motto.

It's been a learning experience...but I am (fairly) optimistic its been sorted out now.

****************

I have a slightly "off the wall" theory on why sometimes people take a good bit longer nights sleep than normal for no apparent good reason. That theory being that "If babies sleep for so long each day...and presumably that is down to the fact that they are learning so much having just pitched up on Earth = older people who are in a Learning Situation may also take rather more sleep at night than they would normally feel necessary". You don't want to know where the rest of that theory goes from there on in....but that's the basics of it...so maybe you are having a "high rate of Learning" going on in your life at the moment??

I have a different theory again as to why many old people sleep so much - but, at our age, I'll go with the "Learning A Lot and new knowledge to absorb" theory. You really don't want to know JUST how early I've headed off to bed sometimes since moving to Wales......LOL...but it certainly counts as "learning experience" in my book sometimes.

Horace

Glad things are sorted for you Money, and that you are giving the voluntary work a probationary period.

Love the idea of lots of learning going on - I shall use that instead of the alternative which is lazy mare:rotfl:

Not long back from the sausage factory and now I feel as though I am being punished for not finding employment. I either have to sign on every day or do community work and the fact that I already do community work is disregarded. I felt at a distinct disadvantage today because the advisor's desk was quite high and the seat I was in was low (it felt as though my chin was resting on the desk). Oh well, I must follow their rules and use them as much as possible to find work. Received a tip off from a friend that a local shop is looking for temporary staff so I will go and see tomorrow. I have put out a plea to my friends to be on the look out for me.

Byatt

Botox has medical uses as well as cosmetic. I've had cosmetic Botox and fillers, years ago after ex left. It was just the once, cost was prohibitive, but I felt great for months! Wouldn't have it done now even if i could afford it, if anything I would do something for my ever decreasing thin hair. :eek:

Don't fancy anything that involves surgery, having gone through necessary ops, and could care less about saggy whatever! But it's all big business now with the expectation that we have to look more than good for our age, especially women. It's pressure, but who is creating the pressure?

An acquaintance of mine has recently started dating a guy met through a dating agency. They are really smitten and as far as I'm aware, this was their first date from the agency. I have to admit to feeling envious and I'm not sure why exactly. I have no intention of dating. They are in their middle to late 60s. An active, enthusiastic, energetic couple.

Using the equivalent partner theory, then my equivalent would not want me:p, for any number of reasons that I won't go into here, but health is one. Bottom line however for me, is that my expectations in a relationship are vastly different from when I was younger. I've seen ugly men who have grown beautiful just because of their sweet personality and I've seen good looking men become ugly through their nastiness.

I don't know what I want, but will do when I've found it.:D

moneyistooshorttomention

Horace,

If you get too low a chair again, be aware its a management trick I've read of before now (me = Management and gets high chair. Lowly member of staff gets low-level chair). Reasoning behind it being its been done deliberately to "put lowly member of staff 'in their place' and help to undermine their confidence deliberately".

Don't put that past them as a deliberate tactic used on claimants, rather than just being "one of those things". If it happens again, see if there is any adjustment possible on your chair to bring it up to same level as the other persons chair (eg levers underneath it or the like to raise the height).

Hopefully, chair adjustment will be possible. If it isn't, then the fact you've tried to do so might show them you are wise to this at least.

Horace

Alas the chairs do not have adjusters on them but I am wise to that old trick, I raised myself up by sitting on my leg. Next time I will stand - I made numerous comments about the table height.

I told my mum about it and told her about the rigmarole - she told me to carry on doing what I was doing and if they wanted me to go on a course then go on it. She has seen the list of jobs I apply for as has the jobcentre. She also told me to keep my temper even though I feel like punching them in the mouth - it is time to start wearing my power suits to the jobcentre:rotfl:

Had to smile earlier too because I am being pushed towards Avon and becoming a rep - tried that once, never again.

I know that she has had the loft cleared so I asked her about my Spirograph and apparently she has got it. She told me she planned to offer it to my cousin's lad James so I said that I wanted to sell it on fleabay (in reality I want to play with it again before I do sell it):D.

Byatt, I have fine hair and use Carino herbal shampoo from Aldee it is 99p and is really good. I also use a volumiser spray when I blow dry mine which gives it a bit of oomph. I used to have regular facials but not any more nor do I have waxings - in the summer I have to use removal cream to get rid of unwanted hair but I might see what the college charge and if it is not prohibitive then to go and get a hot wax because I prefer it (less irritating). I have pamper sessions at home where I really cleanse, I use a clay mask to exfoliate and then I use various creams and serums. I don't do this often mind you.

My American friend who is a makeup artist offers wonderful treatments in his salon including a 24 carat gold mask but then he is in a posh part of LA. He offered it to me when I eventually go over to see him...erm not sure I could afford it. I have my beady eye on some custom-made makeup because he mixes his own colours and has his own brand. Oh to be Hollywood glam just for a day.:cool: