OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

Horace

My parents own the house I live in - I fell in love with it when I first stepped through the door and they bought it for me. One thing that my mum in particular was insistent on was that the home is close to public transport and shops because we don't really know how much longer I will be able to drive. At the moment I am ok but there will come a time when I am not.

I am within walking distance of a small village (where there is a library, my favourite butcher, a few small supermarkets and a few independent shops), just down the road there is a Morrisons and if I walk down the hill, there is a new town centre with a large Sainsbury and soon there will be a massive M&S. There are also some little local shops and takeaways near me too although they are a bit pricey and therefore only used in emergencies. A little corner shop opened up before Christmas but the police recently closed it along with the council as they got bored with selling bread, milk and provisions and started selling Class A and Class B drugs. There is also a little bus that goes around and you just stick your hand out and it will stop for you - apparently the fare is 50p but I don't know and only go by what my elderly neighbours tell me.

My CBA struck again today - I have been trapped in the house all day because it is raining (will it ever stop?). I got up fashionably late, took my meds, watched some tv and had a shower at around 10.45. I have poked around in the pantry to see what I have - still no bread, sugar or butter (as if these would miraculously appear overnight). Found some slices of bread in the freezer - had jam sandwiches for lunch. I have a steak out of the freezer so will eat that tonight and serve it with spuds, veg and gravy.

I need to buy food and petrol, if I can get petrol then I can get to Aldi without having to faff around with buses and can therefore carry more. My freezer is almost bare, the fridge is bare. I need to get somethings in as my chum is coming round for lunch on Wednesday - she might be served fridge forage soup and a bread roll.

I wonder if I am depressed - I am not looking after myself at all. What will help will be a job that pays - not much luck on finding one at the mo though.

ellie99

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

- its more that I CBA to look after myself properly. I wouldn't dream of feeding my kids cereal for days on end, or letting them get away without some exercise each day, or nagging them to go & see friends etc - yet I can't seem to apply the same things to myself.

Anyone else find they do this?

I used to be like this with food...I don't like cooking much so if there was no-one else here to feed I'd be really lazy and not cook much. I've even eaten chocolate instead of an evening meal on occasion

But lately I've been more aware of what I'm eating. I usually hang out on the OS weight loss thread, and have lost 3 stone so far. I still have unhealthy weekends too often (pizza anyone?), but now I'm much more likely to make something with veg even if I'm alone.

It's convincing yourself that you're worth taking care of and looking after I've decided it's my responsibility to be as healthy as I can be as I get older, so that my children don't have to worry about looking after me (because of course there's no OH in the picture!)

I'm not saying I eat healthy all the time, but I'm trying to improve.

You're worth looking after too justkeepswimming

btw, I like your signature, is it a quote?
It's exactly how I feel too

LavenderBees

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

LB - how are you doing?

Pretty low and exhausted, unfortunately, but with periods of looking forward to stuff/enjoying stuff, so in answer to my nosy neighbour's question this morning...no, I don't think I'm depressed, just low and exhausted. Betcha you wished you hadn't asked, sorry If I feel like this after my restful holiday, I guess I need to talk to my doctor.

So... making an effort to be sociable and join in here ...

I've had a mixed weekend - fleeting day visit to a friend near Cambridge on Saturday, which was very pleasant, but emphasised the yawning gap between us at the mo re family situation/money/support etc. .

Scrubbed the henhouse yesterday, and enjoyed the girls' company lots, they have an opinion on everything, and talk really good common sense .

Had a surprising letter from toxic brother advising that toxic sister has "found" Mam's jewellery etc,...hmmmm.... like I ever thought it was lost...it's exactly where I knew it would be :mad:. What is a surprise is that she has admitted she has it, and it seems I can choose my share of the wee bits & pieces. They clearly want their money that I am kind of holding to ransom...;). But that is good news, though until I see what is there, I can't help feeling there will be important pieces missing like her wedding ring. We shall see...but not until after my holiday. I just can't face it all just now. Even this good news had me reeling emotionally. I have responded to say that as Mam's jewellery was with Dad's jewellery, then I assume that, too has been found, and I want to see/choose from that, too. Yep...will never have this level of "power" ever again so I may as well go for broke. Wish me luck!

What else?

Oh, yes . My wee old boy cat is getting smaller, disturbs me for cuddles about 5 times a night (but I know I'll regret it if I don't oblige...it won't be for long, I feel it in my bones ), and is eating less and less. It distresses me to watch him slipping through my fingers like this, so close to losing Mam and Dad, and so similarly. But he still seems comfortable, and I have talked to the vet about what I want to happen should he deteriorate in the cattery when I am away, so I know I've done my best. But it's hard.

Ummm....good stuff now though.... I have been thinking of getting a dresser for the dining side of my kitchen, but today, did a body swerve on that idea, and ordered a sideboard for my living room (for the storage and display room), and put an already owned bookshelf in the dining area, which, if I may say so, looks pretty bloomin good. It's a stop gap for the kitchen, but it cost nothing (ignoring the sideboard :eek:, which I got free delivery & double points, but no money off ).

Apart from that, I've pretty much packed for my hols, which is a grot job, and so pleased to have that out of the way. I also was starting to feel very stressed at the thought of driving to Manchester airport. It was becoming a huge hurdle to overcome mentally, so I've booked train tickets instead, and now I feel ok about the holiday again, thank goodness. :T

So, another busy weekend, and as usual, I am staggered that so many of you manage to have lazy days. Lucky bu66ers! But the last laugh will be on me as in a week or so I will be lying in the shade, sleeping (I hope!), and having cocktails delivered to me . Can't wait!

Sorry, I'm not interacting much, and this is more along the monologue lines than anything else, but hopefully,this has given a wee flavour of the pressures I'm feeling (and I haven't even mentioned work!! :eek:). Please bear with me, there's got to be light at the end of the tunnel...!

Have a good week

LB xx

mothernerd

I really think it is the weather - not us. I have been avoiding posting today as I feel so bad. I have been attempting what I thought were a few simple tasks and everything has been so much effort - even taking the recycling to the outside bin was hard. Managed to cook 3 things but one stuck to the bottom of the pan (had no lentils so threw in a couple of handfuls of porridge oats to bulk it out), rescued most of it but cba so put the burnt pan outside for now (have scraped most of the stuck food into the bin bag, just the black bits to do - another day).

The only reason I have eaten today is that DS3 ordered a takeaway yesterday - no we can't afford it (strictly speaking) but I was so tired and in pain. Have had 3 meals out it so far, ate the starter yesterday, have had 1/2 a curry with added peppers and mushrooms + 1/2 naan twice today and am thinking the bombay potatoes and a tin of value sardines will do me tomorrow.

Came on here as I can't put off posting in the challenge any longer, clicked through a couple of threads and it isn't just us, lots of people have had really bad days (wet, cold, miserable, cba, hiding in their bedrooms etc) so cut yourselves some slack. Tomorrow is a new day and we will all do better. We will start with something simple and plan to change one thing that will make our lives better.

Totally understand the single with children problems. Before he stopped seeing them altogether my ex became increasingly infrequent with his visits, so when they went with him I never had anything planned and just felt 'left behind' in an empty house. Not that he was much of a support when we were still married, went contracting after being made redundant and never worked closer than 300miles away, gambled all the money away and ignored us all when he did come home (about once every 3 weeks). I remember being about six months pregnant with our first child, suffering from flu and he made me a flask of hot honey and lemon, so I could stay in bed, close to the bathroom - I remember because it is one of the only nice things I can remember him doing in the whole 11 years we were together, don't think he has ever cooked me a meal.

Decided to relocate back to my little house as soon as possible - spent yesterday discussing what needs to be done to make this (big house) saleable. DS2 is renting the little house atm but think he is planning to leave (he currently owes me 10 weeks rent (accumulated during 4 periods of illness this year). May have some problems short -term if he goes without paying what he owes but I would have everything within easy reach (it's on one side of the town centre car-park) and heating etc is easier. Wouldn't have the (erratic) rental income but wouldn't have energy bills for here (based on what I use) and could just leave the selling to the estate agent. When this sells (quickly, please) can take our time finding something which suits me and mum and all my (DS2 and DS1' s) debts would be paid. Feel that it would be so much simpler.

Just keep plodding, folks.

LavenderBees

mothernerd wrote: »

I really think it is the weather - not us.
Just keep plodding, folks.

Not here - has been warm and sunny. And it was warm and sunny when I was in Cambridge, too. Def can't blame the weather on my mood :cool:

dibuzz

I agree with mothernerd, the weather doesn't help at all.

Sending hugs to you LB x

ETA - if you've got warmth and sunshine I'm taking the hugs back, it's cold and raining here and has been all day

Horace

Hugs to you LB - you will have a whale of a time on your hols.

Weather has been dreadful here - it has rained non-stop all day. The central heating went back on, I am wearing thick winter woollies too. I cooked a meal tonight - I had the sirloin steak (now I know why I switched to the Aberdeen angus steaks from Aldi) it was a bit chewy but it has been in the freezer for a long time. I served it with mashed spuds and mixed veg with some gravy.

I am still procrastinating over the application form - just the spiel about me and why I match the job. The form has to be submitted tomorrow.

The Secretary of the Friends group is coming round over tomorrow, she is going to sign some cheques so the bills will be paid:D and she is bringing the vacuum pots and tea/coffee things so that we can provide hot drinks for the chaps building the stage in the park (they have no catering until tomorrow). I would have gone over to see them today but as I have no means to make them a drink, I stayed home. They must be drenched.:(

Hopefully it will be a drier day tomorrow.

mum2one

its been non-stop rain here, so bleak we had to put the living room light on at 5pm as couldnt see the computer keys...

Today was home day - home in terms of not driving to hospital, feel awful not going as if i dont take mum and DD, dad has no visitors - been in 2 1/2weeks so far....

Been to Argos (blow up camp bed for when dad gets home - even thou we dont have a date - but kept mother happy!), Poundland (as dad now wants lemon and lime water, 4 bottles for £1 compared to 85p each at hosp shop), Asda (quick top up of groceries and fruit) I hate shopping on a bank holiday....

Then tonight - gone through all the household bills etc as dad does all that, mum doesn't even check the bank statement, he does it all....5 hrs later... managed to get semi-sorted - balanced the budget for the week, and half way to do Septembers comings and goings - last week we did 750 miles going back and forth to the hospital unfortunatly dad not stable enough to be transferred - everytime we achieve a goal. 1st no 2, drinking, getting rid of stapes etc, something else crops up and knocks us 5 steps back.

The next step take the paperwork to the bank so I get 3rd party access to the accounts, it makes me wonder how many other people of my mums generation (shes 69) never deal with day to day money, and do the cooking etc, we joke it took my dad 25yrs to make an apple pie... bad enough trying to sort my own money out without someones elses, - but when its your parents, need to be there.

Heres to a better day tomorrow..... x

Horace

Your dad will understand that the weather was filthy today so you didn't visit. Glad you managed to get him some necessities today. Hopefully he will soon be well enough to be transferred closer to home.

Your mum is not the only one who doesn't know about bills etc. When my friend's dad died, her mum just didn't have a clue and had to be taught how to use a cashpoint, write a cheque etc. etc. In our house it is different, mum does everything even down to paying the bills and sorting out all the money (dad is too frail and he can barely hold a pen to write his name - his hand shakes too much).

I came on here to say that I have done the application form at long last - it has taken me several days to complete it.:(

moneyistooshorttomention

LavenderBees,

Its not at all surprising you are feeling so down at the moment. You've been through a lot recently and having to deal with toxic relatives too hasn't helped at all. Don't blame you wanting to have a share in the jewellery. You are certainly entitled to that. Jewellery does have rather more sentimental than money connotations in some ways. As the only daughter my parents have, I would certainly not take kindly to finding any of my mothers jewellery had gone adrift come the time, as jewellery gets shared equally between all daughters in my book (ie just me then in this case). There will be "words" if my sister-in-law tries to classify herself as a "daughter" for these purposes come the time. I sympathise with not finalising the money aspect until the jewellery aspect has been finalised. You were just as well not to believe that it had been (rather conveniently) "lost".




Re comments generally about living closer to facilities when older, I tend to think its necessary to live close to a reasonable level of facilities at any point and my last house was very conveniently located to walk to a large range of facilities. Now I've moved to this much more rural area, I've made sure I am still walking distance from enough shops to be able to manage/main "social" facilities required/have established which is "my" taxi firm nearby I use if need be and its all the more vital with the appalling bus service here (only about hourly frequency and nothing on evenings and Sundays:eek:).

Oh well...off to get on with the day. Another long walk coming up today. One of my uses for long walks is as "thinking time", as sometimes the best way to look at things comes whilst walking along at my leisure. Little Sod Neighbour has been stirring it (again!) unless I am much mistaken, so a bit of "firm action" is required and I'm not looking forward to that. Do ya' think I can borrow the communal "Man in Cupboard" figure to say Whats What and "be firm" for me?:cool: