OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

calicocat · 29 June 2014 at 10:44PM

Can I jump in briefly......i'm sick of hearing about people HAVING weekends....working 7 in a row then two off......lol.

Whatever we have we mostly want something else...just like curly hair, big boobs, long legs, a husband, not a husband,......etc. It is the nature of us to want something else/more/different. That's what keeps us going isn't it??

Anyhow...enjoy the last evening of your weekend folks..!!!!!......just kidding..lol.

Byatt · 29 June 2014 at 11:30PM

Jks, thanks for listening, I'm feeling better, a lovely chat with LB last night and a day spent with 2 mad dogs who found intense joy from running free and diving in a river! Along with being ecstatic at having a fluffy toy being thrown over and over and over again...:D

I'm sorry my smear story came at the wrong time...:eek:...hope yours is better.

I am all to aware of the *absence* in my life and also the awareness that I never really had what is absent now but nevertheless is exquisitely painful because I know now I will never have it .I am trying to come to terms with this and learn to accept what I have but have moments of intense grief, they don't last forever, but I don't bounce back as easily as I once did and I think that is an "age" thing...more time behind me than in front iyswim.

I know I can sound a miserable git on here :cool: but honestly people in my (local) day to day life would never know and don't know how bad I feel at times. It just helps to let it out here as talking to the 4 walls gets a bit blah.

I agree Calico, we always want something different, I always wanted straight hair and now I have it! :rotfl::eek:

Mtstm, my monthly electric bill is £80, plus I have a wood burner for the winter, and my place is (as LB will testify :rotfl:) very tiny, one up, two down sort of place. But it's 300 yrs old, is stone so no insulation and I have 2 ancient storage heaters and supplementary electric heating which is expensive. I also have a tumble drier as there's no room to hang and would involve too much moisture to have wet washing hanging about indoors. I tried to cut back but was so cold I felt miserable, so have decided that I will at least have heat in the winter months.

Thinking about dreams, I really don't have them now, just can't let myself have them. Even the Italy idea is not planned or expected...it will happen if it happens...so I don't know what my soul needs for it to grow. Other than peace of mind where my DD is concerned. She takes up a huge space in my heart. And mind. She was my dream and my heartache. Each milestone bringing joy and bereavement. And now the unlikelihood of a future I hoped for her and the possiblity of grandchildren.

So, I think this new decade for me has resulted in a crisis, which will resolve itself I am sure. And so I apologise here and now for my miserable posts, I hope they will be few and far...and I'll shut up now, blame the G&T!

:A

moneyistooshorttomention · 30 June 2014 at 6:09AM

LavenderBees wrote: »

The absence of "something" is a good way to describe that feeling that none of us can really articulate. My issue is that I can't live two lives, one with the security I crave to allow my soul to be content, and the other with the adventure my soul needs to grow.

Anyway, mid life crisis? Perhaps. All I know is I feel suffocated with rut, and chores, and that infernal absence of something! at the moment, and something needs to change.

Possibly just a small something, but definitely something.

Thanks for listening JKS, I appreciate it. I thought my plea was lost in the ether.

LB xx

I can understand what you are saying and sympathise. As for the absence of "something", I've been reading about the very same sort of feeling being experienced by people on a VERY different website to this one (only on that one its described as "homesickness"), but I would say people are talking about the same thing and I do know what they mean.

You've been through a lot recently through (just from what you've told us on here) so "take it easy on yourself". Things will "settle" more in you as time helps to heal. You've done a lot of sorting things out recently, so hopefully you will have some time for you soon.

BookWorm · 30 June 2014 at 6:54AM

I have heard a whisper that it's a special day today....... so Happy Birthday Byatt!!

:bdaycake:

xoxoxoxoxoxox

JustKeepSwimming_2 · 30 June 2014 at 7:45AM

BookWorm wrote: »

^^^^ this totally captures what I often feel but didn't know how to verbalise :think:

Ooooh - I don't think I've ever had anyone say this about something I've said :j Usually I just whitter on & on (in case you haven't gathered that yet :rotfl:)

BookWorm wrote: »

I have heard a whisper that it's a special day today....... so Happy Birthday Byatt!!

:bdaycake:

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Yay - Happy Birthday Byatt!
:beer: :bdaycake: . Hope today is a fabulous day!

JustKeepSwimming_2 · 30 June 2014 at 8:15AM

LavenderBees wrote: »

Believe me, the mood I am in, would have you all flinching away from me, if I really said what I feel at the moment :rotfl:

I've just been saying to Calico that frankly whoever said that about fairy tales and dreams was ...em...well rather patronising and sanctimonious...not quite the words I used...but you'll get my drift...:rotfl:. Often dreams and fairytales are all that keep me dragging myself out of bed and into another bloomin day.

But, yes, I am tired of hearing how other people seem to have lovely relaxed weekends, time to wander, time to read the paper even...Wow! what a novelty that would be. I still have Saturday's paper from 5 weeks ago to open, and optimistically bought another one last Saturday just to add to the pile :cool:

The absence of "something" is a good way to describe that feeling that none of us can really articulate. My issue is that I can't live two lives, one with the security I crave to allow my soul to be content, and the other with the adventure my soul needs to grow.

Anyway, mid life crisis? Perhaps. All I know is I feel suffocated with rut, and chores, and that infernal absence of something! at the moment, and something needs to change.

Possibly just a small something, but definitely something.

Thanks for listening JKS, I appreciate it. I thought my plea was lost in the ether.

LB xx

I doubt we'd all flinch away from you LB - we all get it on here

I've been wanting to change something in my life for a long time now, without being clear exactly what that something in (although getting rid of the ex helped a lot

). I don't know if my coupled up friends feel the same - they certainly don't have the same time to think as we do as they all seem to be out doing stuff & having more fun, all with more support.

Guess it all comes down to simple maths - there are only so many hours in my day & never having anyone to share the chores means I'll always have less fun time. I should really have accepted this by now, & not waste so much time railing against it, even though my inner toddler is stamping her foot loudly :rotfl:

Byatt wrote: »

Jks, thanks for listening, I'm feeling better, a lovely chat with LB last night and a day spent with 2 mad dogs who found intense joy from running free and diving in a river! Along with being ecstatic at having a fluffy toy being thrown over and over and over again...:D

Ah pets - they can make life so much better can't they. The cat-that-thinks-hes-mine is crashed out next to me with his front paw on my knee. At least he wants to be with me (& hes already had his breakfast).

I'm sorry my smear story came at the wrong time...:eek:...hope yours is better.

Still have to make the dreaded call, but its on my list.....

I am all to aware of the *absence* in my life and also the awareness that I never really had what is absent now but nevertheless is exquisitely painful because I know now I will never have it .I am trying to come to terms with this and learn to accept what I have but have moments of intense grief, they don't last forever, but I don't bounce back as easily as I once did and I think that is an "age" thing...more time behind me than in front iyswim.

I understand those moments of grief, Byatt, & have noticed that I'm either not bouncing back as well, or am having more "absences" as I'm seeing more "together" people in the summer if that makes sense?

Others comments are flooring me more - I stayed at a B&B a while ago & there were some Americans there (apologies if this sounds a little racist as it isn't meant to). Two of the women realised I was alone so kept badgering me to join them, saying I "couldn't possibly be happy on my own" & that "nobody should have to holiday alone". I know they meant well, but it hurt me as they said this during a busy breakfast (when the 3 single men weren't targeted :mad:) & I felt as if everyone was probably thinking that there must be something seriously wrong with me.

I know I can sound a miserable git on here :cool: but honestly people in my (local) day to day life would never know and don't know how bad I feel at times. It just helps to let it out here as talking to the 4 walls gets a bit blah.

I agree Calico, we always want something different, I always wanted straight hair and now I have it! :rotfl::eek:

Thinking about dreams, I really don't have them now, just can't let myself have them. Even the Italy idea is not planned or expected...it will happen if it happens...so I don't know what my soul needs for it to grow. Other than peace of mind where my DD is concerned. She takes up a huge space in my heart. And mind. She was my dream and my heartache. Each milestone bringing joy and bereavement. And now the unlikelihood of a future I hoped for her and the possiblity of grandchildren.

So, I think this new decade for me has resulted in a crisis, which will resolve itself I am sure. And so I apologise here and now for my miserable posts, I hope they will be few and far...and I'll shut up now, blame the G&T! :A

No need to apologise at all Byatt - there's little point in posting if we don't tell the truth, is there? Everyone's situation is different & I often feel guilty for mithering about my 2 on here when I know that others either don't have children, or have children that they will always be more responsible for than most of us will be (IFSWIM).

mum2one wrote: »

Playing catch up, but felt such a strong need to say totally agree with the above, it reminded me of my daughters father, - (very messy and a lot of lies), but the "words" that came out when he remembered he was a dad (8 yrs later) it was everyone elses fault bar his (luckly had solicitors letters that said different), they want to hurt, and will hurt with words and rewrite history to suit themselves. He doesn't want to admit that he is/was at fault/part fault - but by saying these things he is making sure if he falls in a mess he comes up smelling of roses. xx

Thanks Mum2one - meant to comment on this before but it fell out of my head :rotfl:. My two are now seeing him for what he is which I'm glad about on one hand, but it makes life hard as they are choosing not to spend time with him & his new family as much as they did when they were younger. I wont force them to go, but it sticks in my throat a bit to try & encourage them to go when I know he will ignore them for most of the time. Difficult.

Right, must get a move on & go to work - not looking forward to that at all.

calicocat · 30 June 2014 at 8:38AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BYATT......!!!!!!

Don't you have to put a record and dance today, i'm sure that was a rule from the original thread.

Have a great day, eat cake, and drink bourbon.

moneyistooshorttomention · 30 June 2014 at 8:44AM

Calico, You are right...it is indeed A Rule....records on then...:j

Happy Birthday Byatt.:beer:

Byatt · 30 June 2014 at 9:32AM

Thanks all for the lovely birthday wishes! :A

Yes, I will put The Boss' CD on later and dance, he can always reach into my heart and make me feel special.

Off to HFW for lunch with a friend, who suggested it as a treat before I could suggest it, so hoping for mussels as there were fantastic last time I had them with LB.

Will let you all know later!

Weather looks fab this morning, hope you all have a fab day! :A

Edit: Oh, and JKS, please don't feel guilty about mithering on (as you put it) about your children, I love to hear about others' kids and lives, it often puts things in perspective for me too, as I know all children have their moments and there's no guarantees with any one of them. It's not easy. I'm just in a reflective mood (or a pity me mood in other words :eek: and I will snap out of it, otherwise I will take myself off to Outer Mongolia!

)