OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

MummyBobble

JKS my two (DD 16 and DS 13) are both nightmares in their own way. DD ended up in hospital last year for a heart trace, lung x-ray, blood tests and all the rest because she was having panic attacks over GCSEs, DS on the other hand shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever". It's really hard to deal with on your own.

I've found that I just have to come down hard, and with both of them. As soon as they get in from school they have to organise themselves for school the next day before they're allowed any Facebook/laptop/x-box or whatever. I have been known to snatch their phones out of their hand as they walk through the door (which doesn't go down well...) but they are learning (even if they don't like it) that they have to do what they need to do before they can do what they want to do).

If you haven't already, go and speak to school (I'm never away from the darn place), explain any problems and ask them to help. They may well be able to put strategies in place that you can work on together. I've had a lot of problems outside school over the last year which have really affected DD and DS and I've found that school have been really helpful in putting things in place to help them deal with what's been going on.

They are (in my opinion) put under an awful lot of pressure at school, chuck the hormones in and it's no wonder they can be horrible at times! The problem then is that I sometimes say things I wish I hadn't, then I mess it all up again by being too kind to compensate. Bloomimg heck, who'd want to be a parent?

Sorry for rambling...

JustKeepSwimming_2

MummyBobble wrote: »

JKS my two (DD 16 and DS 13) are both nightmares in their own way. DD ended up in hospital last year for a heart trace, lung x-ray, blood tests and all the rest because she was having panic attacks over GCSEs, DS on the other hand shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever". It's really hard to deal with on your own.

I've found that I just have to come down hard, and with both of them. As soon as they get in from school they have to organise themselves for school the next day before they're allowed any Facebook/laptop/x-box or whatever. I have been known to snatch their phones out of their hand as they walk through the door (which doesn't go down well...) but they are learning (even if they don't like it) that they have to do what they need to do before they can do what they want to do).

If you haven't already, go and speak to school (I'm never away from the darn place), explain any problems and ask them to help. They may well be able to put strategies in place that you can work on together. I've had a lot of problems outside school over the last year which have really affected DD and DS and I've found that school have been really helpful in putting things in place to help them deal with what's been going on.

They are (in my opinion) put under an awful lot of pressure at school, chuck the hormones in and it's no wonder they can be horrible at times! The problem then is that I sometimes say things I wish I hadn't, then I mess it all up again by being too kind to compensate. Bloomimg heck, who'd want to be a parent?

Sorry for rambling...

Not rambling at all - thanks for the ideas. I actually work at their school (both a blessing & a curse) so I get to hear a lot of things unofficially.... she has had a lot of support from many staff members & a 6th form mentor, but nothing seems to help with the practicalities - she loses the lists of things to do, the files to put her homework in :rotfl:, forgets to turn up for the mentoring sessions.... We obviously haven't hit on the method that is going to work for her yet.

I agree they're under a stupid amount of pressure about exams etc. & a lot of the news is so depressing about lack of jobs, houses becoming unaffordable that I don't think I'd want to be young now. I'm exhausted from working in the school & I don't even have to teach - it is just an intense environment.

She is a lovely girl & I do realise I'm very lucky to have her - she still talks to me a lot about everything & even though I'd love to find her off switch every now & then, its because I want a few minutes peace not because I don't want to listen to her.

Anyone remember this book - seems to sum up my life! But they aren't going to be at home for ever (maybe only until their mid 30's!)

One of the things I find hardest about being a single parent is that my ex & his current wife feel that they're the perfect parents & anything I do is automatically wrong - we can't seem to agree on anything at all to do with the kids. If they do something wrong they somehow become my children, yet if they do well at something its because their Dad has had an input (in his eyes, not anyone else's). An example - DD goes to a drama group & I'm the one who takes her there each week, I'm the one she practices her lines with, I help her with her costumes yet when she has a performance he says "Ah, she gets that from me" & wants to take all the credit when all he's done is just turn up :mad:.

It really isn't how I imagined my life would turn out & I get quite cross & petulant that there is no one in my corner. But then I guess we all fell like that sometimes, so I'll stop mithering

How's the tooth doing now?

Crikey LB - when I saw you were thinking of using the marmalade for cocktails I thought you were joking - never thought you'd actually drink one (or several).

When you delouse chickens do you have to hand them upside down & puff some sort of powder under their wings? I seem to remember doing this one night with a friend who keeps them. Hilarious.... Sounds like they now have a superb home, so well done to you.

I did some gardening (of a sort) on Sunday - & I'm still aching today! None of the plants have died yet, so this year has been more successful than most :rotfl: Green fingers I don't have, but the front isn't quite so embarrassing & the back isn't on show so I'll get around to that sometime.

Hope all is going well for everyone - it's been a bit quite on here lately. I guess being singlies we all have far too much work to do!

mum2one

had a really nice surprise today, I'd brought a ring in Goa (£100 off parents, I put the rest ) bartered it down to £170 took it to be valued - jewellers rang today.... got it back valued at 1.5k........ almost to scared to collect it, all I was worried about was that I hadn't been ripped off xx

LavenderBees

Yes, the delousing was a two (wo)man jobbbie...me catching and turning them on their backs (not popular :rotfl:). Byatt dusting them with delouse powder. Calicocat doesn't know this yet, but it's her turn to help next time :eek:

:rotfl:

Had another lovely day here - Bamburgh for fish & chips lunch basking in sunshine, and then a walk from Craster to Dunstanburgh Castle to see fabulous panoramic sea views and sit in the sunshine again.

We found a cardboard placard sign thingy "Hen Party in progress" and have hung it on the front of the hen house. Perfect!

Wow, Mumtoone...that's some mark up on the ring. Well done you!

LB xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Thought of you yesterday Lavender Bees. There was me out picking nettles nearby for plant food and thought "What's that noise that has just started?". Sure enough, it was several chickens that had emerged on the scene in a garden nearby and were standing there looking at me meaningfully whilst clucking away gently.

At that point I thought "Now what was that comment about chickens being very motivated by food?:":rotfl:

Was it just the presence of a person in the vicinity itself that was causing them all to raise their hopes of food, or are chickens partial to nettles (or something else in the vicinity they might have been hoping I would pick for them)?

I don't mind throwing a bit of whatever-they-fancy over into the garden next time I'm in the vicinity if there was something nearby they were hoping I would pick for them. So what, if any, weeds do chickens like?

moneyistooshorttomention

Update being on those chickens that I had a bit of a google and it looks as if chickens like clover and dandelions, which are nearby, but I think have gone for this year now.

There did seem to be some idea that they might like a bit of grass, but I wasn't sure on that. Grass nearby gets cut pretty frequently I notice, so maybe they do like and the clucking was them chortling at me that they would like a few handfuls of that thrown over please? It was quite amusing to hear them, like they were very gently burbling away to themselves.

Am now wondering whether I might be able to get to introduce myself to their owner in case of any spare eggs going for sale. That would be a new experience for me, ie to sit there and think "I know the name of the hen that provided that egg I just ate".

BookWorm

Good morning all

MITSTM - that would be cool to know which hen your tasty egg came from.

I've got a rare day off to make the long weekend a little longer :T I've got a few errands to run but nothing too onerous. Just wish last weeks nice weather hadn't disappeared. I guess at least it gets me out of gardening though...silver linings eh :rotfl:

Have a great day everyone

BW

calicocat

Lol.......that's fine, I have no problem running around after chooks to de-louse and wash bums. It may mean I need to get out more...but I think it will be fun. I shall bribe them with corn on the cob, have it hanging above my head so they jump onto my knee......thats the theory anyhow.

It was lovely to see LB and Byatt yesterday.....for an indoor barbie due to wet weather.


LB has now seen the not so friendly i'm in a bad mood Asbo, up until now she has only seen the nice Asbo.

Off work for a few days, so will wizz round house a bit tidying and sorting today although so far I am still in bed!, go down to durham to see mum tomorrow if she's in, then chill-out sunday and possibly meet up for a beach walk....i should get a bit of exercise and be outside more....working night shifts you tend to be a bit of a vampire.

MummyBobble

Well that's me done for half term . Not back until a week on Tuesday :j

I have pizza and wine for after DD and DS go to their dad's tonight so I can start the holidays with the shabby habits I plan to stick with :beer: They'll be back at teatime on Saturday though so it may not quite go to plan.

In reality most of next week will be spent catching up on all the chores I've been avoiding (including putting the Christmas tree back in the loft... ). I also need to stop DD from spending all the holiday revising for GCSE's - 8 down only 7 (including 2 maths and 2 science exams) to go :eek:. It was her GCSE art exhibition last night and I was so proud. Her art teacher described it as faultless and one of the best exhibitions she'd ever seen . At the same time I'll need to force DS to revise for his exams (there's a possibility the wine may become a necessity :rotfl:)

JKS if your daughter is talking to you you're doing a great job, lots of DD's friends barely speak to their parents. I possibly get too much information from mine about who's being doing what with who (usually with a screwed up face and a "Why would you want to do that?" type of comment). I'm with you on the exes turning up when it suits. Last night at the art exhibition I was talking to the school head when he arrived and the head asked who that was talking to DD because she'd never seen him before. As he hasn't been to a parent's evening since she was in year 1 that came as no surprise! It's hard being a single parent but we have to learn to take credit for all that we do :T.

I am so jealous of all the chicken talk, I need to get my two children living somewhere else so I can by a very small house (or maybe a caravan) that has enough land for chickens.

Yeah, it's the weekend and the sun is trying to get through (extra bonus, the football season has finished for DS apart from a couple of tournaments so no early Sunday mornings :j )

JustKeepSwimming_2

MummyBobble wrote: »

Well that's me done for half term . Not back until a week on Tuesday :j

I have pizza and wine for after DD and DS go to their dad's tonight so I can start the holidays with the shabby habits I plan to stick with :beer: They'll be back at teatime on Saturday though so it may not quite go to plan.

In reality most of next week will be spent catching up on all the chores I've been avoiding (including putting the Christmas tree back in the loft... ). I also need to stop DD from spending all the holiday revising for GCSE's - 8 down only 7 (including 2 maths and 2 science exams) to go :eek:. It was her GCSE art exhibition last night and I was so proud. Her art teacher described it as faultless and one of the best exhibitions she'd ever seen . At the same time I'll need to force DS to revise for his exams (there's a possibility the wine may become a necessity :rotfl:)

JKS if your daughter is talking to you you're doing a great job, lots of DD's friends barely speak to their parents. I possibly get too much information from mine about who's being doing what with who (usually with a screwed up face and a "Why would you want to do that?" type of comment). I'm with you on the exes turning up when it suits. Last night at the art exhibition I was talking to the school head when he arrived and the head asked who that was talking to DD because she'd never seen him before. As he hasn't been to a parent's evening since she was in year 1 that came as no surprise! It's hard being a single parent but we have to learn to take credit for all that we do :T.

I am so jealous of all the chicken talk, I need to get my two children living somewhere else so I can by a very small house (or maybe a caravan) that has enough land for chickens.

Yeah, it's the weekend and the sun is trying to get through (extra bonus, the football season has finished for DS apart from a couple of tournaments so no early Sunday mornings :j )

I'm on half term too :j - but back on Monday 2nd, then counting down to the summer holidays (35 days). So glad to have some time off, & I have wine but no pizza - hopefully some curry in the freezer. Absolutely nothing shabby about this behaviour & I'm pleased to report I'm already in my PJs.

I'm not sure if I can take much credit for DD talking to me - she talks to anyone :rotfl: but she does say that a lot of her friends don't speak to their parents much. I guess their dad bears the brunt of the silence (not that he'd notice). We do have some good chats, but they're very different from the factual, quick chats I have with DS - DD can go on for the whole evening....

They are supposed to at their dad's for half term, but neither of them want to go & he & current wife don't seem that keen to have them either - sounds like they're expecting rows & bad behaviour. Ho hum.

mum2one wrote: »

had a really nice surprise today, I'd brought a ring in Goa (£100 off parents, I put the rest ) bartered it down to £170 took it to be valued - jewellers rang today.... got it back valued at 1.5k........ almost to scared to collect it, all I was worried about was that I hadn't been ripped off xx

What fantastic news! I doubt all my jewellery added together would be valued anywhere near this amount :rotfl:. A lovely reminder of your holiday.

LavenderBees wrote: »

We found a cardboard placard sign thingy "Hen Party in progress" and have hung it on the front of the hen house. Perfect!

Pictures? :rotfl:

Hope all are well & we get some sun over the w/e (not looking very likely here ). But the rain is keeping my plants hanging in there - still no casualties :j
What books are you all reading at the moment? I need some inspiration....