OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

Byatt

The police have just spoken to me to say they won't be prosecuting DD's gf as she lacks 'mens rea' ...they've interviewed her, she has been cautioned but they are applying 'restorative justice'...in other words, a written apology. I can see where they are coming from, I'm also of the opinion that gf knew exactly what she was doing. It worries me on several levels, one of which my DD will feel let down. I feel let down, even though I understand their reasoning.

moneyistooshorttomention

"Restorative justice" - huh...is that what they call it when someone writes out "I am sorry" or words to that effect on a piece of paper?:eek::mad:

Hmmph...as to words being worth the paper they are written on:cool:

"Let down" translates in my book into a very cynical "Yeh right" and I would not be a happy bunny (trans. British understatement).

Sorry to hear that that is as far as it goes Byatt. I suppose it's one (tiny) step up better than a kick up the backside:(

The consoling point is that your daughter seems to have "clicked" to treatment like this and it doesn't look very likely that she will "go back again" and give someone else a chance for a third go at being abusive like this ((( fingers crossed)))

EDIT: and just what is "mens rea" when its at home pray tell?!

mcculloch29

Changed plans after writing about casserole, the sun came out and the temperature rose rapidly. So it was Jack's Creamy Salmon Pasta with a Chilli Lemon Kick instead. Second time we've had this, it really is a winner.

Byatt

Thanks MTSTM, mens rea is 'criminal intent'...so they are saying DD's gf is unable to have criminal intent (because of a learning disability) so although she used a plate to hit DD, she did not consider it would do any harm.

I do so hope DD has "clicked", because it's so difficult not to worry all the time.

mcculloch29

Scrolled back and caught up. Having worked a lot with people with LDs, the 'not realising hitting with a dinner plate would hurt' is a complete cop-out, animals realise that blows and bites hurt, fgs.
Oh well, that aside, it looks as if things are going in the correct direction. I hope all settles down again soon Byatt, and that DD is able to recover well.

moneyistooshorttomention

Byatt wrote: »

Thanks MTSTM, mens rea is 'criminal intent'...so they are saying DD's gf is unable to have criminal intent (because of a learning disability) so although she used a plate to hit DD, she did not consider it would do any harm.

I do so hope DD has "clicked", because it's so difficult not to worry all the time.

I'd be struggling to equate that (ie "unable to have criminal intent because of a learning disability") with that woman not being aware of what she was doing and, as a consequence, realising it would cause your DD to be hurt...:cool:

As far as I can see it, then if even children of pre-school age can see the difference between right and wrong (assuming they have been brought up properly) then I find it difficult to believe that an adult wouldn't be fully aware that hitting someone else round the head with something would mean they would suffer an injury and feel pain.

Frankly, the police are taking a 21st century politically-correct save themselves any trouble way out from where I'm standing....but what can you do when they refuse to "see things as they actually are"?

I do think it sounds like one hopeful thing to me that your DD got out of it so quickly this time. From that, I think it does sound like there is a very reasonable chance that she will recognise someone like this when she comes across this again and won't get involved with that sort of person again.

Byatt

Yes, Mcculloch & MTSTM, you are both spot on. It is such a difficult area, and I must say I am disappointed. I don't think writing a letter is useful at all, especially as they are using the lack of mens rea as their basis. I am totally of the opinion that she knew what she was doing and that it was wrong, because she immediately wanted DD to tell lies about the reason for the cuts and bruises.

I do appreciate the law is there for protection, but I'm not sure, if it had been the other way around, that I would consider a letter of apology sufficient from my DD.

Oh well, another slice of carrot cake and a cuppa will help me short term, no doubt. :cool:

lostinrates

Byatt, I've read it all and I'm horrified. I really hope your daughter feels better able to recognise this next time and get out at least.

Is she ok?


I'm a drop in for the week. Res parent off tomorrow morning. Hope every one is ok?

I had a bit of a rough time at hospital on Friday and DH and re so were debating whether I could be 'left alone this week' when I reminded them I wasn't an eight year old. Finding I really CRAVE at least three days alone these days, Or at least.....without res p. about which I feel a bit guilty.

Anyway, pleased as punched to be a drop in if you'll have me back.

Byatt

Good to see you LIR, you are missed. Yes, she seems ok, very, very tired so I'm waiting for the slump that I think will come, but she is being proactive, removing all gf's stuff, although I'm quietly getting p'd off with the mother who is asking my DD "what's happened to x, y or z"...as if my DD is responsible for her dd's stuff!

superrhinos

Byatt, I hope your DD is ok. Whilst the police response has been disappointing I hope you both are able to move on from this.

Im feeling a bit sorry for myself today as have come down with a nasty cold and have hardly been out of bed all day. This comes on the back of having a chest infection last week. Luckily my Dad came round and looked after DS for most of the day so I have been able to rest. DS is at nursery tomorrow so will be able to have another quiet day. I cannot see myself being well enough to work tomorrow.