OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

mum2one

Byatt -thats good that you've got more than you thought, a Ford Ka sounds nice. Good that you got everything out of the car.

x

mcculloch29

Thanks for the good news Byatt! Lovely to share, I'm sure you'll be able to find a Ka at a good price, they have been around for about 15 years now, so there must be some on the market.
For fifteen years with the Army I moved to towns and villages having never visited them before. We quickly found our feet although my ex made life tough for me by getting duff info in the first village we lived. We had a grocers in the village but he only told me about the one a 2 mile walk away...! Prat!
I enjoyed my post break up relationships but I don't want to make any more sacrifices for relationships. It's always me who gives up things it seems, and I like my life the way it is now.

moneyistooshorttomention

McCulloch

A salutary reminder to me personally at any rate that I was carted around from pillar to post as a child for my first few years and no choice whatsoever about it, courtesy of being in an Armed Forces family. One "smarting" legacy to these days....but leave the past to bury the past hey?

Thankfully, those enforced moves stopped part way through childhood:D, as it was Sayonara Armed Forces and Hello Normal Life at last:D.

Harder by far for someone to adapt in those circumstances, ie if they are A.N. Other being carted along for the ride regardless of their own personal wishes/needs.

As a child, I stubbornly dug my heels in and just refused to do more than a token adaptation in those circumstances. Leastways, as an adult, it's been my decision and my decision only and that is one big advantage and its beneficial to be reminded that this particular move hasn't been imposed against my will.

Thank you for that. I'd forgotten the hell that those Imposed Moves were for the "helpless others dragged along in the wake of....".:(. I guess some people (including children of...) will regard it as An Adventure and then there's the rest of us...going "on strike" in protest...

EDIT: I do have to add here that boarding school (which was an option available to my parents) would have been an even worse choice for me. So "dragged along in the wake of unwillingly" was the lesser of two evils...

BookWorm

Evening all.

I have somewhat achey knees tonight - that usually means that the temperature is going to drop No idea why I have weather predicting kneecaps but I guess we all have to have a skill right

MITSTM - good to hear that you are feeling more settled. You've done the hardest part and it will continue to get easier or at least less alien from here on in

Byatt - hiding under the duvet is allowed. I wanted to do that yesterday myself. Sending you extra hugs. Fab news about the car :T and well done to the insurance company for a speedy decision

Is it the weekend yet? :cool:

calicocat

mum2one wrote: »

Just a thought that came to me, would you live with someone/ get married (again or 1st time) or do you feel there is a cut off age where things such as a boyfriend just doesn't sound right......

I'm 42, been single for 11 yrs (thou couple of flings but not enough to be classed as long term relationship) - it seems like a age thing

Nightclubbing - been there done that at 16+ Now I'd look like an oap in one of those venues....

Pubs - weekend drinking - town centre full of youngsters - out of town pubs older settled man type pubs....

Holidays - Theres me and DD, - not many single parents/men there - of course I could involved with a local (Tunisia I am the right age for a toyboy - followed by passport, money visa!!), Yep I'm cynical..

Weird as theres no reason behind it, but just curious xx

I'm not sure I can be bothered with it all to be honest.....lol. having said that it could just be a particular phase of the hormone turbulence at the moment and may change my mind again (and being female am entitled to do so).

I would never get myself in a position where this house was anything other than mine though I know that for sure.

I miss the companionship sometimes granted, but don't miss more washing piles, or being asked where a sock is, or what's for tea....

I think if I were to be living with someone again it would have to be someone pretty special to have me want to give up my independence even slightly...but I guess if it was the right person then it wouldn't feel like that would it....and i'm not sure he exists outside of fiction.

I think as I get older, the financial implications bother me more than when young. Years ago I just didn't think further than the next night out etc...now I ruminate on all the possible permiations of a situation.

I wouldn't say never.....but would say quite unlikely. There is a bloke I know who would love me to move him in and us be a couple...and I ain't interested in the slightest....it ain't ever gonna happen.
(well with him anyhow).


Although I was talking to this bloke in Asda the other morning at 5am...he was quite nice....lol.....but he was like a comfortable old shoe....thats the kind of bloke I need now...an old shoe type...lol.


Good news about getting a good amount for the car Byatt and happy car hunting. Re:hiding out in bed...these things can take a while to hit, hope you feel better now.


Just got in from stuffing my face with chinese with the LB, and now have a book on neurotic cats to read...courtesy of Byatt.

mum2one

calicocat wrote: »

Although I was talking to this bloke in Asda the other morning at 5am...he was quite nice....lol.....but he was like a comfortable old shoe....thats the kind of bloke I need now...an old shoe type...lol.

5am in Asda... I'm in land of nod... you have described what would be my perfect man - like a comfortable shoe... I couldn't couldn't do with all the fuss and the lovely dovey stage...

i'm not sure whether to blame it on age, hormones or having a complete idiot as daughters father...... I wouldn't swop her for the world, (just her father!!),

For me she was unplanned, I had a job I hated with a gut of hate, but was holding on as the following yr I had it all set out - going to Kenya in the March on holiday - then week at home - move 200 miles - go into the restaurant business - was going to run a restaurant/cafe on a holiday site, allowed 2 weeks for cleaning and close down, then had Goa booked for the Nov, - be home in time for Xmas -

Instead I meet my ex, 8 weeks later the little blue stick goes blue, my holidays to Kenya and Goa ended up as Cyprus, Tunisia, Turkey, back to Tunisia, - and the nearest I got to the restaurant was waddling at 8 1/2mths gone and ordering chips......... The relationship gone by then!

I got a nice 8k settlement from my lovely employer as an out of tribunal settlement for sec discrimination!!

xx

calicocat

My sleep pattern is shot due to working night shifts...hence in asda at 5am.

That's how we got talking, because he asked me what on earth I was doing up at that time in full make-up etc and asked if I couldn't sleep...then we got onto talking about night shifts etc...he used to work nights too.......and was also in asda at 5am...obviously.


The 'old shoe' thing came from someone I know who got married a couple of years ago. She's only young...but in her brothers speech he mentioned her saying she knew she would be with him for the long haul as he felt like "a comfortable old shoe".....i thought this was a bit of a lightbulb moment for me...I have been hanging out with the wrong type all my life.....the crazy exciting type. it's old shoe for me from now on if anything.

RosiePuddingPaws

Old shoes are nice but they can still wear out their welcome! There was a time when my ex would have been described in that way but after 20 years I wanted more than to just plod along till we popped our clogs.

Unfortunately, due to lack of funds, I haven't done anything exciting since the split - but I live in hope!!

Byatt - happy car hunting. May the salesman be generous and find you a really good cheap car.

Calicocat - Are you a man magnet?! You had your loving electrician the other day and now the guy in Asda ....

RPP

lobbyludd

We moved around alot as children and it was very unsettling, I went to 11 schools in total, and always being the "new girl" was tough. So I don't intend to move until the children are older if at all possible.
I was born in a very big city but spent most of my childhood carted around villages, and am now in a small city, but would love to be a bit more rural, still in reach of a city.

and no, having been in long term relationships from when I was 18 to 38 with only the odd month break here and there (my "flings" tend to end up with them staying) I am in no rush ever to have another. I lose who I am in relationships, I never want to live with someone ever again (marriage was abusive, I am never going to put myself in danger of that trap again) and I am very happy with my own company and that of my friends and family.

I cannot imagine the person who would cause me to feel any different, however lovely they were. and as for the odd fling - well my track record is that they end up being long term relationships so that's out too!

I'm early 40's so perhaps young to be done-with the whole thing - but it is how I'm happier (plus with 2 young kids and working full time, I'm not sure how I'd fit anything else in! right now I'm counting down the days until my new leave entitlement comes in so I can book off some days to catch up on sleep....)

right, school run and work, beautiful day here, hope it is with you

calicocat

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

Old shoes are nice but they can still wear out their welcome! There was a time when my ex would have been described in that way but after 20 years I wanted more than to just plod along till we popped our clogs.

Unfortunately, due to lack of funds, I haven't done anything exciting since the split - but I live in hope!!

Byatt - happy car hunting. May the salesman be generous and find you a really good cheap car.

Calicocat - Are you a man magnet?! You had your loving electrician the other day and now the guy in Asda ....

RPP

Lol.....man magnet.......not.

To be honest I think people are just more friendly up here, loads of random people talk to you...all the girls on the tills do, and in Aldi and morrisons. I guess there may be a slight possibility that since the original thread I stopped myself being 'shut off' to people so will now hold my head up more and smile rather than fleeing along doing my own thing ignoring most in my path...but really I thinks it's just the folk here are chatty types.

Actually, I might do an experiment next time i'm in, smile at lots of people and see how many speak to me....or how many run a mile from the odd smiling woman in the veg isle...lol.

Well...I was going to paint the rest of barbie room, but after a conversation with LB last night...i'm not going to bother as not in the mood. There's no rush so it can wait. I think I shall do some cooking instead and maybe a bit more potting of some seeds, and throw a few more foil balls for The asbo-cat which i'm doing from bed at the moment. If I go to the shops, I may do a fly-by to see the cats at pet shop..however should really avoid shops today as don't need anything. Friday i'm off down to Durham so that will involve spending money. I'll take mum out for lunch and see what the shops are conning us into buying down there.

Have a good day folks, looks like sunny weather..but a bit chilly here so far.