OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

moneyistooshorttomention

Whew...thank goodness the weather is perking up at last:T. Relief all round.

Bit of food coming up in my garden and should be able to have more than a token taste of my own veggies soon:). Must find a better way to deal with soil that has been compacted somewhat by combination of it being clay/having got sodden/a bit of careful walking across to deal with various things, as my back isn't too "happy" at the moment.

Had a chance to sniff sea/admire views a bit at last. Been having some outings with a new friend and both of us glad of having made a "proper friend" here in our new-to-us location. Struggling a bit with small town lack of facilities, but first trip to a Big Town lined-up ("big" by their standards....but still rather small by mine....but will be able to get access to some modern facilities that aren't here...medical practitioners missing here/Marks & Sparks/etc and a chance for more variety in eating-out places). I've been used to a huge variety of places to eat out...eating-out in the past has boiled down to "loads of decent places within walking distance and LOADS within easy driving distance". Am telling myself to take number of eating places within walking distance on the "count on one hand" thing as reason to learn to be Darn Good Cook myself.

Starting to lift head up and "look around" a bit in effect, after Baptism of Fire I've been having since moving here...for which much relief <whew smilie>

So feeling a bit more optimistic and less "What have I done?".

lobbyludd

great stuff MITSTM, I well remember when I moved from a massive city to a tiny one and spent a loonnnggg time being tripped up by things that I now needed to plan better because of the smaller range of facilities.

and a friend to explore with is a massive bonus

moneyistooshorttomention

Three hours or so extra (and that's not counting waiting around time) every time I need the dentist:eek:. There are (a few) around here, but not ones like I'm used to. So, I'd rather go the extra distance and get "my" type of one. That's a bit of a headache and I'll just have to treat visiting the dentist as a Day Out now (lesser of two evils to not being able to get what I'm used to).

Will have to get used to not just being able to go for a bus pretty much without thinking about it, as there will be one along soon. At some times of day there literally ARENT any buses and other times I will have to advance plan in order not to have a long wait.

It is taking some getting used to not being able to think ""Well, I'll try that place and, if I don't like it, then I'll try that one, and if......etc etc" as I've been used to plenty of choice in most respects and not "There's this and there's that....take your pick of just one or two examples of". It does make you very much more aware of just how much you take having options for granted.

Mind you....I could still be young enough to be "dating" and my choice in that respect would be much more limited than I had back when. Back when and in last location there was LOADS of potential boyfriends to choose from and, if I chucked one, then there would be half a dozen others to choose from and I could just sit back and wait for someone who really took my fancy to come along and "try again" hoping to meet Him. Here it would have been more like "Well there's Dai and so-and-so and such-and-such and that's about it really"...and having to keep fingers crossed that I fancied/liked Dai or forget the idea:rotfl:

Byatt

I was a "Big City" girl, (now I'm just big...:rotfl:) and was dragged kicking and screaming by parents to the rural south west...who didn't research anything...:cool:

so, MTSTM, did you just get planted in Wales or was there some design behind it? I appreciate it takes a period of adjustment, I know for me, I have to have at least a "corner shop" near by to make me feel less isolated.

I must say, as I'm now 60, almost 61, I am aware that the rurality I have now is as rural as I should be as I need more accessibility to services...partly because I may lose a car and rely, at least for a while on public services...all of which run to their timetable and not mine. I'm currently living near a small town, have walking distance amenities...don't have much going on socially (that suits me), and everything needs to be driven to. Main hospital is 40 miles away, and I'd probably be airlifted in an emergency warranting it.

As for boyfriends :eek:, :rotfl:, I haven't looked in almost 10 years, so not sure of the dating pool of men at all. And I don't think I ever had so much choice I could chuck one and move on. :rotfl:

Ideally, if it wasn't having to be near my DD, I would be city bound...well maybe...or would move somewhere a little less remote..

I do have HFW near by, so a plus there...:T

I'm sure the bonus of being in a beautiful part of the world will eventually outweigh the lack of M&S...;)

I don't have an M&S near me so appreciate the loss. :cool:

moneyistooshorttomention

Byatt

Nope...I certainly wasn't "planted" here:rotfl: (visions of taking the place of one of the trees I am planning on putting in my garden). It was a thought-through decision for a whole variety of reasons (starting with it being Long Past Time to move on from last house anyway and then carefully working out where and why to move).

I was pretty aware of what was what before I came. Of course, nothing beats the "feet on the ground" and experience of actually living in a place full-time. It's possible to come for a visit or two to a place and not get the full picture. The same as its possible to "live a life of poverty" for the media for a week or a month, but you don't get the full picture of what it entails unless you are poor for at least a year (as by that time things are starting to wear out noticeably and you have to factor in replacement/repair cost on top of daily living costs/bills). Also temporary poverty isn't going to grind you down mentally, as it will be an adventure, rather than "How much longer is this going to go on for? Hope to goodness it isn't permanent..".

Hugh Fearlessly Eats it All nearby:T. Now that's a plus point:).

I had been assuming, at the outset, that it would take a year or so to "get my head round it"/adapt/make friends and I must try and put aside the fact that it wasn't 100% "free choice" (ie because my last location had got worse and I couldn't afford the home I had chosen to have there). Ideally, last location would have stayed the same and I would have been able to afford my home there and then I would have had a totally free choice. If that had been the case, then I don't know if I would have stayed there or no. It wasn't...so "no use crying over spilt milk" and there is a fair chance I would have moved anyway.

Good friends of mine in last area moved to there literally never having clapped eyes on it before and had to look up where it was on a map:rotfl:, and told me it took them a while, but they became really glad they had done so and adapted/like the area now and told me to expect the same..hence I took their advice and am.

Byatt

I appreciate you don't get a feel for the place until you live there. I have learned in the past few years that I can adapt and like almost anywhere. I was blinkered to some extent and narrowed my options as I decided I didn't like a place and couldn't possibly live there, only to find on more than one occasion that I'm actually quite ok when actually living there. Most of my moves have been necessity/no choice rather than choice, but like your friends we do adapt, and can come to love a place.

Byatt

mum2one wrote: »

Ah they sound gorgeous...

Was thinking of
gin and tonic
bailey and whisky (bailey for the black as sounds the sweeter one, whisky as the other one bolder and stronger)...

I really don't know who is the daftest.... me or the dog... sat up watching tv late last ngt so ventured out of my chair to settee, - dog decides to share it with me, he pawed, fidgeted, nothing was right... got up.. he swopped sides then moved and got the pillow........ xx

We used to have cats called Gin & Tonic...Tonic came first, and then of course Gin had to follow. My brother named her Tonic, as he was ill at the time, and said she was such a tonic to him...

I think I might be off to bed, come over all weepy and fragile...and just want to hide under duvet.

mum2one

Just a thought that came to me, would you live with someone/ get married (again or 1st time) or do you feel there is a cut off age where things such as a boyfriend just doesn't sound right......

I'm 42, been single for 11 yrs (thou couple of flings but not enough to be classed as long term relationship) - it seems like a age thing

Nightclubbing - been there done that at 16+ Now I'd look like an oap in one of those venues....

Pubs - weekend drinking - town centre full of youngsters - out of town pubs older settled man type pubs....

Holidays - Theres me and DD, - not many single parents/men there - of course I could involved with a local (Tunisia I am the right age for a toyboy - followed by passport, money visa!!), Yep I'm cynical..

Weird as theres no reason behind it, but just curious xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Personally, I guess I pretty much gave up on the idea of having boyfriends at some point in my early 50s. "Boyfriends" did feel like an odd word to use at that age, but there doesn't seem to be any other applicable one:rotfl:

It's up to the person concerned I guess.

There are a few people who meet (and marry) well into retirement age and, if they can find the right one for them at that late age, then "Good luck to them":T

I just realised that it was steadily getting harder to find men I found attractive enough to want any relationship other than that of friendship with them. What few men are still "attractive" into their 50s tend to be WELL aware of the fact and pitching "above their level" (with the corresponding effect that has back on women who actually ARE at their "level":().

Add the "hormones" have "died a death" (which, again, is going to vary from person to person) and I'm rather wondering what I got so "excited" about when I was young. Add the fact that many people, of both sexes, are starting to have quite serious health problems and a healthy person might find themselves "signed up" as more of a carer, when they thought they were going to be a "partner". I've seen a friend of mine persuaded into getting married again in later life by a man who was older than her and promptly came down with dementia suspiciously soon after marrying her and later life marriage doesn't seem a very good idea to me personally.

Each to their own and I haven't "closed and bolted the door" personally...but I don't tend to think so for me these days...:rotfl:

Byatt

Mum2one, when my ex and I first split, I was open to meeting someone, but that was more like panic buying toilet rolls in the 70's when they were on ration, :rotfl:...it was more because I couldn't imagine life on my own after almost 30 years with the same person.

As time has gone on, I just can't imagine living with someone let alone getting married again, not sure there's anyone who could live with me now...

sometimes I like the idea of romance and companionship, but it doesn't last long.

I used to feel sad that I wasn't interested (lack of trust has a lot to do with it) but now I think make the most of what I do have.

I do sometimes miss companionship and those easy silences that go with it but that's to do with living alone.

Update on car, it has been written off, but the good news is they are paying me much more than I expected! :eek: So, need to start car hunting. I have my heart set on a Fo$d Ka, used to have one and loved it.

Thanks to all who suggested I remove items/tax from car. :T