How to say "No" to being a Bridesmaid, without ruining a friendship?

Pollycat

^^^^^^^^^^ Great post. :T:T:T

ivanbrownbear

I would have a serious chat with friend and give her your concerns. But if she still insists it is true love, do it for her sake. She must see you as a real friend to ask you. How would you have felt if she hadn't?

his_missus

Hi,

I haven't read through the whole thread so maybe you have already made your decision whether to be a bridesmaid or not.

A friend of mine asked me to be a bridesmaid when she married a man I disliked and didn't think was right for her (most of her family and friends also disliked him, it turned out)

I did initially say no but we'd been friends for so long and been through so much I felt kind of obligated to be a bridesmaid. If we'd all turned round and said "we don't like him" she'd have married him anyway as they had a son together! As one of th eother bridesmaids said , "We just have to be there for her when it falls apart"

As it happens, the marriage did break down. Unfortunately I let my dislike of her husband keep me away from and our friendship drifted apart

Trying to rebuild bridges and the friendship now but things will never be the same

Cottage_Economy

Just thought I'd add something onto this thread that I came across in an article:


"Wedding planning website confetti.co.uk surveyed over 2,000 women regarding their ideal big day, and uncovered some surprising results!

The survey closely followed the release of the movie Bridesmaids, taking a refreshing look at the role of chief bridesmaids and the tricky reality of friendships under pressure. The wedding website launched a campaign to find the ‘Ultimate Bridesmaid’, who would then be able to share a wealth of knowledge with those about to take on the role as well as brides gripped by wedding fever.

The survey uncovered some interesting facts:

- Today’s bridesmaid can expect to be tasked with counselling the bride, organising a lavish hen party and finding the perfect wedding dress in addition to arranging flowers and arranging their own shoes, which nearly a quarter of brides expected their bridemaid to pay for themselves.

- With a quarter of bridesmaids spending between 21 and 30 hours on preparing for the role, it is arguably one of Britain’s worst paid jobs, with the average bridesmaid (40%) receiving a thank you gift of just £20 in value!

- Stealing the bride’s thunder on the big day was found to be the ultimate bridesmaid faux pas by a third of respondents, while nearly a quarter were primarily worried about their bridesmaid starting a fight!

- Reliable and supportive personalities are favoured by 70% of brides while only one in ten were keen to hear the honest truth from their bridesmaids."

Source