Noisy people in flat above me.

happycamel_2

My mum always said thick kids go to bed early and sleep well. This thread seems to be evidencing that beautifully.

thequant

Twisted_Cherry wrote: »

Ha Ha I can relate! I turned to banging on the ceiling in the early hours when they kept me awake... I also used my computer in the early hours of the morning and played music through it as the room was directly under the child's room. I reached a point where revenge was the only option!

Me and my neighbours exchanged several letters... thinking back now it was rather comical, but at the time it really did affect my mental health, to the point I flipped out one evening after a letter they sent me and I got very drunk, cranked up the music and started banging on there door - think I scared them a little... then the police and ambulance took me away, I officially had reached breaking point with the neighbours and spent 4 weeks in hospital - which whilst not great, gave me some much needed space from my horrible neighbours!

Until people live through this situation themselves they don't realise how much it can affect your mental health.


In my situation the noise was relentless, from the moment I came home from work to when I went to sleep. At weekends from the point of waking up to when I went asleep.


There was no breaks, it was just relentless. Similar tactics are used in guantanemo bay and are defined as torture.


What drove me most insane with my neighbours and their noisy kid, was that there response was "he's just a child and children will be children, there is nothing we can do or attempt to do".


There was absolute no consideration for me or my health, They really just couldn't see that if they were causing distress to the neighbours, it was their problem not the neighbours


After my "campaign of terror" and we sought resolution, I explained to them I am not an unreasonable person, I'm not expecting them or their child to tip toe around in the flat for fear of upsetting me. I am willing to accept that it will be impossible to eliminate noise.


All I ask for is for them to make an effort so the noise is not relentless.


i.e. their child can run about and play in the flat, just don't allow him to do it for 8 hours non stop. Just say to the kid "you've been running about for an hour now, sit and read a book or watch the television"


"if it's getting late, tell the kid to stop running around as it will be affecting the neighbours"


These were then things my parents and other parents have said to their children.


You know what they were able to do just that! they just needed to make the effort and not think their child was so precious that the neighbours can go fcku themselves

Twisted_Cherry

thequant wrote: »

Until people live through this situation themselves they don't realise how much it can affect your mental health.

In my situation the noise was relentless, from the moment I came home from work to when I went to sleep. At weekends from the point of waking up to when I went asleep.

There was no breaks, it was just relentless. Similar tactics are used in guantanemo bay and are defined as torture.

What drove me most insane with my neighbours and their noisy kid, was that there response was "he's just a child and children will be children, there is nothing we can do or attempt to do".

There was absolute no consideration for me or my health, They really just couldn't see that if they were causing distress to the neighbours, it was their problem not the neighbours

After my "campaign of terror" and we sought resolution, I explained to them I am not an unreasonable person, I'm not expecting them or their child to tip toe around in the flat for fear of upsetting me. I am willing to accept that it will be impossible to eliminate noise.

All I ask for is for them to make an effort so the noise is not relentless.

i.e. their child can run about and play in the flat, just don't allow him to do it for 8 hours non stop. Just say to the kid "you've been running about for an hour now, sit and read a book or watch the television"

"if it's getting late, tell the kid to stop running around as it will be affecting the neighbours"

These were then things my parents and other parents have said to their children.

You know what they were able to do just that! they just needed to make the effort and not think their child was so precious that the neighbours can go fcku themselves

Could not have put it more perfect myself.

And the amount of times I heard the saying:

"he's just a child and children will be children"

This is why I contacted Environmental Health, I reached breaking point and my HA where doing nothing at all to really resolve the situation. I practically cried down the phone to the woman at EH begging them to step in and do something - And they did! I could have hugged that woman when she said they would install recording equipment!

Of course when the evidence was gathered my neighbours decided to pull the 'race' card and claimed I did not like them because of the ethnicity! Oh how wrong they were and that for me was the straw that broke the camels back...

Years back on the anti-social estate from hell, a HA said to us 'It's a clash of personalities and you have to accept people are different' it didn't matter that there personalities broke every rule in the tenancy agreement with the anti-social behaviour.

silverwhistle

notanewuser wrote: »

However, with the best will in the world I can't/don't want to "control" my daughter.

That's not the issue here, nor is it what people are suggesting. What the OP has described is over an extended period. The occasional squeal, as you describe it, would probably not be an issue and your approach would seem reasonable to anyone.

I suspect many of us have seen that some parents have a blind spot over their offsprings behaviour and then everybody else suffers. I certainly never blame kids for their behaviour but occasionally you feel like throttling the parents. I'm happy to say that most parents are pretty good but...

silverwhistle

notanewuser wrote: »

Have you ever BEEN to the continent?

:rotfl:

I've been living and teaching English there (Italy) including 9 year old kids. You could tell in class the ones who didn't get to bed early enough as it affected their performance. Doing a "what time do you..." exercise proved useful confirmation.;) The local primary school teachers didn't think much of the late nights, but most of the children were in bed by reasonable hours.

Weekends were a different matter and the rules would be relaxed, but most families did have their rules. My good friends and neighbours had a 3 year old and she came out for pizzas quite late, but she knew it was a privilege and misbehaviour was confronted.

I think the whole issue on this thread is where children aren't confronted/disciplined and don't have a structure to their lives. Barriers are always there to be pushed at, we've all done it, but when they hardly exist the results can be unfortunate.

butterfly72

We've had noise problems with the people downstairs. They seem incapable of having a conversation at a normal volume. They seem to shout over each other! They regularly have visitors which includes 2 children aged around 6 or 7. The children whine from 6pm to 10pm (when the said visitors leave). Its non stop whining. It was just so stressful not being able to relax after work - we have to have the TV so loud to drown them out which gives me a headache.


Anyway, we've spoken to them a few times and they just deny they are being noisy and say that we can't hear them - !!!!!!!? They get aggressive too. We've been to the managing agent twice now and they have been spoken to. The landlord said he'd evict them if they carried on and sure enough they've been quiet for the past 2 weeks.


I'm all up for the revenge tactic tho and being above them gives us the advantage!! I'm not so considerate anymore either.


I do hope you sort it out OP.

Anouchka

[FONT=&quot]I [/FONT][FONT=&amp]have been driven to favour the revenge tactic as well.

I live in a shared-ownership flat, same as the one above me. We are not allowed to sublet without written permission from the Housing Association. Up stairs is subletting his flat, without permission, to two adults and two children. The noise is terrible. Some of it is clearly the children but the majority comes from the adults.

I've tried to speak with them and written to them so I know they are aware of exactly how much their noise is disturbing me. This, I now think, was an error as I had mistaken them for people who just might have cared a little bit. I have now written to the HA three times now asking for their help. Their only advice was for me to contact the noisy neighbours dept at the local Council. The Council tell me they will not intervene as there is a HA in the scenario.

I am regularly woken up by their noise and often struggle to watch the TV because of their antics. When I came in from work tonight it sounded as if they were running a construction company upstairs. In desperation I phoned the HA only to find that, yes, they had received my letters however the letters had been scanned and were in my file - but that was as far as it went! I am now waiting for a call back from a housing officer but fully anticipate having to call them again.

I completely agree that with children comes noise and that people are quite entitled to hold a view on this and on how children should be managed etc. However, I also believe that everyone is entitled to be able to enjoy and relax in their home. Parents do have some responsibility here - at least they should surely be teaching their children to have a little respect and consideration for others.

I feel very strongly about this as, at the moment, my life is being made a misery by my neighbours. Unfortunately the revenge strategy will be the only one left to me soon (unless by some miracle the HA address the issue). I am pretty sure I can make a lot more noise than they can but would really rather it did not come to this.

Moving would be a difficult option for me partly as I don't have a permanent job at the moment but also because I would have to sell my share of this flat and would be legally obliged to disclose the problems with the neighbours if asked by a potential buyer. Were I buying I would wonder/ask about these neighbours because their bin shed has no door and rubbish is regularly strewn around and their front door is scratched and dented with paint peeling off (the only flat/house on the road in this condition).

It is very easy to dismiss the distress noisy neighbours can cause. I think you probably have to have experienced it to appreciate the devastating impact this can have on other people.[/FONT]

Norman_Castle

If you are ignored make a formal complaint. Inform them of the subletting, and please use a bigger font.