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Noisy people in flat above me.

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  • Soleil_lune
    Soleil_lune Posts: 1,247 Forumite
    pimento wrote: »
    If the flats are the same size and the OP and noisy neighbour have the same landlord, the ideal solution would be for them to swap flats.

    Has the OP actually confirmed that they are renting?

    Sounds like a very good idea. And yes, I think she says she IS renting :)
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    freeisgood wrote: »
    Kashmirigirl it is hard to understand, I have spent most of my life in disbelief of how inconsiderate people can be, because people like you and me would never dream of behaving that way. :(

    Oh please don't the sanctimonious bs. You have and you will annoy people, just like I will and everyone else will. Get over it or be bitter about it, that's your choice
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    I'd guess:


    When you're on your own you're limited, often, to the cheapest places, which tends to be flats and not houses. There are few 1-bed houses for rent in any case. So to move might not make things any better as it'd still be a flat - and flats potentially have problems with people above/below.

    So others should change because the op is not as successful as he/she could be? Sorry that's the ops fault

    That's a general statement rather than a direct attack. As these are common provlems
  • rosyw
    rosyw Posts: 519 Forumite
    PPI Party Pooper
    I find myself thinking back to the child that had ADHD where I once lived... the child who use to run around it a nappy at 2 years old posting empty yoghurt cartons and spoons through people's doors whilst his mother stood on the step smoking and gossiping to someone else.

    Child grew up to be 'out of control' so of course it was much easier to ensure child got a diagnosis of ADHD and mum takes no liability that her parenting skills contributed to child's outlandish and crazy behaviour!

    But then of course some of here would think allowing a 2 year old to run around in it's nappy shouting, screaming and being a general nuisance is perfectly ok! It's nice to find a 2 year old posting a yoghurt carton through your postbox!

    As notanewuser as already pointed out, no one has suggested that this is ok! to me this raises the question - did anyone actually do anything about this? any reports to social services? or did everyone just moan about this child? maybe if someone HAD bothered to alert social services this child would have had a chance to grow into a normal and happy child! I speak from experience here as I'm currently trying to help a child in a very similar situation, dreadfully neglected by his mother who is also very happy for him to be diagnosed with ADHD, as this means she gets a large amount of extra benefits due to this :mad: take him away from his mother and he is a "normal" child, take him back to her and he is a nightmare. It's not his fault, he lacks the communication skills needed to express the distress she causes him by not giving him food when he's hungry, leaving the house in the most disgusting state, sending him to school in filthy, smelly clothes, and blaming HIM for all this. So if all everyone ever did was to moan about a child who posted yoghurt pots through letter boxes, they should all hang their heads in shame.

    I can sympathise with the OP, but it needs to be remembered that each child is an individual, and what is considered normal for one, for example being in bed asleep by 8 pm, is far from normal to another, whose body clock dictates otherwise. I would far rather have to put up with the noise of a child happily running about and playing than have to listen to hours of screaming tantrums caused by that child being forced to go to bed long before they are tired enough to sleep.
  • Dan-Dan
    Dan-Dan Posts: 5,278 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    rosyw wrote: »
    I take it you don't have kids? if you do I feel sorry for them, you seem like a prime candidate for castration yourself.

    As a 3 year old my eldest would be up at 7 am and would rarely be in bed before 11 pm, she was simply a healthy, active and intelligent child. She didn't turn into a yob, by the age of 20 she was managing one of the busiest pub restaurants in the area and following a year out to have her own child returned to work and is now, aged 26, a store manager for a well know national chain. :whistle:

    The OP's neighbour may well be feeling like I did, totally worn out from looking after a very active child, & totally frustrated at not being able to get her child to sleep at an earlier time, now matter what she has tried. If anyone had moaned about my 3 year old under those circumstances I would also be annoyed.

    I do understand how irritating it must be for the OP, but also feel very sorry for the neighbour.



    7am to 11pm
    Sounds like they did well despite you not because of you

    P.s two kids , 2 and 4 , both happy active boisterous but both tucked up by 7
    Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • rosyw
    rosyw Posts: 519 Forumite
    PPI Party Pooper
    Dan-Dan wrote: »
    7am to 11pm
    Sounds like they did well despite you not because of you

    P.s two kids , 2 and 4 , both happy active boisterous but both tucked up by 7

    Then you are lucky! To this day my daughter rarely sleeps for more than 6 hours a night, despite sometimes working a 13 hour day. I am at my best in the mornings, her father was the opposite and she seems to have inherited BOTH traits. As a child she was not simply allowed to run riot, quite the opposite in fact, but there never seemed to be enough hours in the day for her to absorb the massive amount of information she wanted to. The fact that she was still wide awake, but never grumpy though lack of sleep when other children were tucked up in bed did initially cause us concern, but having consulted our GP and discussed the situation with the health visitor, we were told that this was simply her "normal", and was nothing to worry about. What some people fail to realise when they insist on doing things "by the book" when it comes to things like bedtime, is that there is a different book for each child, they are all individuals in their own right, and what works for one may not work for another.
  • Norman_Castle
    Norman_Castle Posts: 11,871 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    GwylimT wrote: »
    My nine month old is crying because he isn't too keen on his breathing tube and as he does quite often he has given it a good yank and hurt himself, but now all I need to do is tell him to be quiet and it will work a treat.
    This is unavoidable noise unlike the OPs noise problem which could be reduced if the neighbor wanted.
  • Twisted_Cherry
    Twisted_Cherry Posts: 1,662 Forumite
    edited 12 January 2014 at 11:24AM
    rosyw wrote: »
    As notanewuser as already pointed out, no one has suggested that this is ok! to me this raises the question - did anyone actually do anything about this? any reports to social services? or did everyone just moan about this child? maybe if someone HAD bothered to alert social services this child would have had a chance to grow into a normal and happy child! I speak from experience here as I'm currently trying to help a child in a very similar situation, dreadfully neglected by his mother who is also very happy for him to be diagnosed with ADHD, as this means she gets a large amount of extra benefits due to this :mad: take him away from his mother and he is a "normal" child, take him back to her and he is a nightmare. It's not his fault, he lacks the communication skills needed to express the distress she causes him by not giving him food when he's hungry, leaving the house in the most disgusting state, sending him to school in filthy, smelly clothes, and blaming HIM for all this. So if all everyone ever did was to moan about a child who posted yoghurt pots through letter boxes, they should all hang their heads in shame.

    I can sympathise with the OP, but it needs to be remembered that each child is an individual, and what is considered normal for one, for example being in bed asleep by 8 pm, is far from normal to another, whose body clock dictates otherwise. I would far rather have to put up with the noise of a child happily running about and playing than have to listen to hours of screaming tantrums caused by that child being forced to go to bed long before they are tired enough to sleep.

    Your child's mother sounds identical to the one I tried to help!

    For many reasons I did NOT go into detail about what did / did not happen. I DID report the family to Social Services. I also reported them for benefit fraud since her partner was living there and working but they failed to declare it (I know this to be a fact not an educated guess!) They in turn made my life hell, both at home and in work.

    Because I did stand my ground this family and others made the lives hell for me and others living in the area who ALSO made reports to the housing and police. As I result I became very ill, and I had to leave my job because of them, and eventually I moved away from my home after years of begging for a move! Several bad families all tried to say 'we' were the ones with the problems, but add up how many people moved away because of this family and others where I lived, you can clearly see who were the trouble makers. It was named the close from hell in my eyes!

    AND for the record, I also wrote to the school the child went to, but the Head Teacher failed to reply, so it was clear the authorities really cared!

    If I feel something is wrong, or someone is at risk I would always report it, regardless of the outcome expected. However reporting this family resulted in them subjecting me to many years of abuse, which resulted in my health taking a turn for the worse, to the point of a suicide attempt. I was desperate to move out of where I live, but no one would help, and 'THIS' family tormented me AND got away with it.

    The child in question ended up in a 'Special Needs' School because of his behaviour.

    So please because someone comments, don't make the assumption they sat back and did nothing! At the end of the day some families care for there children, whilst others don't give a toss what they get up to.
  • Norman_Castle
    Norman_Castle Posts: 11,871 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Guest101 wrote: »
    So others should change because the op is not as successful as he/she could be? Sorry that's the ops fault

    That's a general statement rather than a direct attack. As these are common provlems
    Having noisy neighbors is the victims fault?
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
    Dan-Dan wrote: »

    P.s two kids , 2 and 4 , both happy active boisterous but both tucked up by 7
    And awake at........??

    Out of interest, why 7pm?
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
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