Sensitive first post

Tiredandstressed_3

Thanks to everyone and the support you've given me. Also to the lovely people who have pm'd me with their own stories. This has put things ino perspective and whilst this decision isn't the easiest this thread has certainly clarified it's the best choice for us.
I'm not a troll just a 30 something in a difficult position ( of our own making I understand that) I have no desire to bring a baby up on benefits and seeing as I had both of my boys at a young age I have always tried to instill the ethics of hard work with no handouts.
Thanks to all of you for your support.

Torry_Quine

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

...........

You are not helping with your posts on this thread, in fact you could be adding to the stress the OP is under.

Person_one

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

How to live their lives and END others.

Oh honestly.

How about everybody keeps their noses out of your uterus, and you keep yours out of everybody else's.

Any answer to this question yet?

"What do you think would be better about a world where women were forced to carry and give birth to children they don't want?"

rosie-lee

I had an abortion, which I don't regret! but which screwed me up emotionally for many years.
I've had two Miscarriages which were tremendous losses to me & they screwed me up emotionally for years and
1 miscarriage which was a relief at the time but still screwed me up & sent my hormones all over the place.

Whether a woman chooses or has that choice made for her, the hormonal & emotional time after cannot be compared. There is no league table.

Each of us are so different & each set of circumstances unique.

The social stigma of termination is a terrible thing for a woman or man who may also need to grieve. I can completely empathise with a earlier poster who wanted to explain away a termination as a miscarriage. And completely understand why someone would choose to do this.

We are fortunate that we rarely have to walk a mile in the shoes of another and I am often thankful that I don't have to. But inconsiderate opinions on another's actions should really only thrown when one has done.

I wish you well OP and know that whatever decision you come to, should only ever be reflected upon as, the right one to be made at the time.

moneyistooshorttomention

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

In this case, the OP is making the choice to end the life of her unborn child for financial reasons.

The child has a beating heart... Those that protest and say it's just a bunch of cells - when does an unborn child with a beating heart become worthy of saving?

errrm....when it was wanted and planned and not an unkind Trick of Fate.

It is simply not right for Fate to dump something so major onto someone. Something that Major has to be planned and wanted imo.

I just don't regard it as remotely fair or acceptable for someone's body to go ahead and land them with a situation that is not of their making or choice. After all, many of us spend loads of time agonising about other Major Decisions in life (be it job ones or home ones) so how come our own body and a momentary blip of biological error on the part of our bodies could land us with the consequences of an even more major one? That's hardly fair or right is it?

moneyistooshorttomention

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Why were you only using the pill when you absolutely needed to not get pregnant? All the leaflets enclosed say that this method is not 100% effective

You have created a life.... It is your responsibility for that.

Are you deliberately trying to hurt OP? Because that's what it looks like to me and, in her position, I would be longing to head right through the computer screen and tell you "what for" personally.

You have NO right....I repeat NO right whatsoever to try and tell her how to lead her life like this....or have you magically acquired the ability to "take over" the pregnancy for her and continue with it?

If you haven't then butt out...

mumps

lostinrates wrote: »

Some have had both miscarriage/s and abortion, I have more than one friend who falls in that camp.

I did explain that it was the post saying it is harder for people who have had an abortion than for those that had a miscarriage. Personally I found that offensive and upsetting.

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

"Back in my day"....well I would have first popped that Pill in the early 1970s.

But my own personal mantra certainly includes "I do NOT...I mean NOT...allow Fate to over-ride MY own personal decisions". I tend to think that that might (on a very personal level) be part of the reason why Fate/My Own Body didn't dare even try to over-ride the decisions I had made about what my body would (or wouldn't) do.

In my own case...I am 101% certain that my body has no over-riding "say" whatsoever about how my life will be. Maybe that's part of the reason, in my own case, why there was simply never any question about the Pill failing me. I would have first of all "seen red" in no uncertain terms about any outside factor influencing my life and then "dealt with it" instantly. Fortunately or down to the "I and I alone Factor decide - blow Fate or anything else" the question never arose and I never needed an abortion personally. I wouldn't have hesitated for as much as 1 second if the question arose...but it never did. Thank goodness.

I wasn't wanted and planned either and hence why I believe strongly in childrens' rights to know that they WERE wanted and planned.

From memory of friends experiences it seemed to be harder to get an abortion in the late 60s and early 70s. Certainly on the NHS. I suppose the legislation was still new.

j.e.j.

Oh gawd, is the "Great Abortion Debate" still going..?
:wall:

I bet the OP's REALLY glad she came here for help and moral support!!

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

errrm....when it was wanted and planned and not an unkind Trick of Fate.

It is simply not right for Fate to dump something so major onto someone. Something that Major has to be planned and wanted imo.

I just don't regard it as remotely fair or acceptable for someone's body to go ahead and land them with a situation that is not of their making or choice. After all, many of us spend loads of time agonising about other Major Decisions in life (be it job ones or home ones) so how come our own body and a momentary blip of biological error on the part of our bodies could land us with the consequences of an even more major one? That's hardly fair or right is it?

In fairness you obviously have issues about not being wanted, which must have been horrible. It doesn't always end like that. My mother told me she nearly committed suicide when she found out she was expecting me. :rotfl:She was nothing if not tactful. Ultimately we had a very close relationship, my brother and sister were planned and she often said she didn't know why she bothered. Well she didn't say it to them very often but you see what I mean about the tact.