Sensitive first post

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

From a purely unemotive point of view - the OP is choosing to remove a mass of cells from her body. As I have already stated, that's what a 7-week embryo is.

HBS x

Its not a particularly helpful argument though, every human being is just a mass of cells that interact impressively!

An embryo is an embryo, it doesn't really matter what its called what matters is how the woman feels about it.

paulineb_2

mumps wrote: »

Some of the comments on here are quite hard to take for someone who has had a miscarriage, well it is for me. Saying it is as hard or harder for someone to have an abortion seems insulting, when I started bleeding I would have done anything to have a choice. Unfortunately Prochoice doesn't include miscarriages.

I have no desire to make it harder for the OP, or anyone who choses any abortion, but please don't tell me it is harder for them. If it is any comfort to the OP I have several friends who have had abortions who seem to be quite comfortable with the decisions and tell me they have never regretted their decision.

All I can say is, I know people who have had an abortion and believe the decision was the right decision to make, but it was still a horrible and distressing experience for them.

Its not about who its harder for. This is a personal decision people who are considering ending a pregnancy have to make for themselves.

Yes I understand that women who miscarry dont get a choice, but abortion is not always an easy choice to make, particularly when so many people disapprove of someone having one. Id say thats what makes it tough, the stigma attached and there is very much a stigma still I think.

paulineb_2

Ive seen some comments on forums where people who are trying for a baby have made about women having abortions and they have quite frankly appalled me. I understand that it must be really difficult for people trying to conceive to understand that other women get pregnant and think about ending the pregnancy. But you dont always know what that person has gone through to get to that end stage. As I said in my previous post, I know women who have been raped and who have been on the receiving end of violence who have made decisions to end a pregnancy after a lot of soul searching. And yes, there may well be people who choose abortion as a means of contraception, but that doesnt mean that all women who go through terminations should be tarred as irresponsible and Im afraid I do think that thats the way that many people do look at women who make such a decision.

On the issue of contraception, contraceptives fail at times and so does the morning after abortion pill as well, there is no contraception that is 100 per cent effective, the only way people can ensure they dont become pregnant is not to have sex.

jetplane

mumps wrote: »

Some of the comments on here are quite hard to take for someone who has had a miscarriage, well it is for me. Saying it is as hard or harder for someone to have an abortion seems insulting, when I started bleeding I would have done anything to have a choice. Unfortunately Prochoice doesn't include miscarriages.

I have no desire to make it harder for the OP, or anyone who choses any abortion, but please don't tell me it is harder for them. If it is any comfort to the OP I have several friends who have had abortions who seem to be quite comfortable with the decisions and tell me they have never regretted their decision.

Although I haven't read every post did anyone ever say that it was as hard or harder for someone to have an abortion as opposed to miscarriage? I must have missed it.

daisiegg

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I think in some cases there may be MORE grief involved in an abortion, simply because it IS a choice you have made. A miscarriage is an accident, a terrible thing but no-one's fault, but an abortion is something you have chosen, so there may be an element of guilt there as well.
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jetplane wrote: »

Although I haven't read every post did anyone ever say that it was as hard or harder for someone to have an abortion as opposed to miscarriage? I must have missed it.

See above.

paulineb_2

I said this on another thread a while back, a friend of mine got pregnant while using the combined pill. It doesnt happen often but she thought that as the combined pill is over 99 per cent effective, she wouldnt get pregnant. She didnt have a termination, but she wasnt planning a child at that point.

Even if someone was on the pill and using a condom, condoms can and do split. The contraceptive implant is over 99 per cent effective, still not 100 per cent, so someone could feasibly be using an implant and a condom and still end up pregnant.

The only way to 100 per cent make sure that you wont ever fall pregnant is not to have sex at all. A contraceptive failure does not mean someone was reckless.

It means they had a contraceptive failure. Reckless in my view is using no contraception. There are also people who for their own reasons will use natural methods of contraception such as the rhythm method, Im sure people will have different views on that.

moneyistooshorttomention

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Sorry, but if you absolutely needed not to get pregnant then you should have used a belt and braces approach.

The reality is that now you are choosing to end a life rather than deal with the consequences of your poor family planning.

My opinion will be unpopular but it is factual.

You are pregnant and you are asking for opinions on ending a life. Why should everyone be expected to just be OK with that? I'm not, and I have as much right to say that as those of you that think it's OK to use abortion as an add-on to contraception.

We don't know what method OP used.

Back in the day when I needed it, I used the Pill and therefore I knew I didn't need to do "belt and braces" and double up on contraceptive methods.

Maybe some people aren't aware of the type of Pill they are prescribed these days possibly being lower-dose than my generation were prescribed? Maybe its the fact that "bigger bodies mean higher dosages of drugs and why would the Pill be any exception to that? It wouldn't". I never ever heard of anyone in my generation having had the Pill fail on them and maybe this is why I have read of a few Pill failures in recent years. I honestly think that is the difference, ie that we were a slim generation and on high-dosage Pills.

Anyway....I read OP's post as a rant about life's unfairness and being upset. I did NOT read it as asking for anyone to give their opinions. Perhaps you should take note of that.

jacques_chirac

Person_one wrote: »

Why should anyone have a say over what happens to somebody else's reproductive organs?

I don't disagree with you P_o, but I do question why someone would post on an internet forum about such a personal and emotive issue. They claim to be a regular, they would know not everyone was going to agree with them. Makes me wonder if they were trying to provoke a reaction. There are plenty of other things they could have done if they just fancied a rant.

daisiegg

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

We don't know what method OP used.

Back in the day when I needed it, I used the Pill and therefore I knew I didn't need to do "belt and braces" and double up on contraceptive methods.

Maybe some people aren't aware of the type of Pill they are prescribed these days possibly being lower-dose than my generation were prescribed? Maybe its the fact that "bigger bodies mean higher dosages of drugs and why would the Pill be any exception to that? It wouldn't". I never ever heard of anyone in my generation having had the Pill fail on them and maybe this is why I have read of a few Pill failures in recent years. I honestly think that is the difference, ie that we were a slim generation and on high-dosage Pills.

Anyway....I read OP's post as a rant about life's unfairness and being upset. I did NOT read it as asking for anyone to give their opinions. Perhaps you should take note of that.

Or user error. People not realising that if they have an upset tummy it could affect how effective the pill is, or if they take antibiotics that could interact with it, etc. Or simply people missing one or two pills now and then and thinking it doesn't matter.

lostinrates

mumps wrote: »

Some of the comments on here are quite hard to take for someone who has had a miscarriage, well it is for me. .

Some have had both miscarriage/s and abortion, I have more than one friend who falls in that camp.