Sensitive first post

Tiddlywinks

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

That's a ridiculous thing to say.
Have you not read the whole post?
I was taking contraception which failed for reasons unknown.
I'm damn sure he has not willingly wanting to put us both through this emotional turmoil.

Sorry, but if you absolutely needed not to get pregnant then you should have used a belt and braces approach.

The reality is that now you are choosing to end a life rather than deal with the consequences of your poor family planning.

My opinion will be unpopular but it is factual.

You are pregnant and you are asking for opinions on ending a life. Why should everyone be expected to just be OK with that? I'm not, and I have as much right to say that as those of you that think it's OK to use abortion as an add-on to contraception.

mumps

Tommelise wrote: »

I agree with the above.

I have had 2 unplanned pregnantsies. The first shortly after i started a very good job. I had a miscarriage at an early stage, only my oh knew. Our circumstances at the time were difficult for a nummer of resons, but I dont think i could have gone through with an abortion, my husband understood that and was very surporttive.
At the time we already had 2 children together.

2 years later I found that I was pregnant again. This was also unplanned and the timing could not be worse. I had been seriously ill 3 months before and was stil undergoing examinations at the hospital
My normal Gp was on holiday at the time. the Gp that saw me was very supportive. She made sure my hearth condition was examined very fast, because she saw how much i wanted the child and even if my normal Gp called me at home a week later to recommend an abortion, the other Gp continued to support me.
I knew i was taking a risk having another child, but in the end it went well. even if i did not plan in any way to have another child it would have been very difficult for me to go through with an abortion. My oh stood by me, and let it be my decision what to do.

according to some of the comments here I would have had more of a right to grieve when i had a miscarriage, than if i had to have an abortion in the last situation. I reallity both situations were very difficult.

Everybodys circumstances are different, so dont judge other women for the choices they have to make.

I think it was when someone said it is harder that I got upset. I don't think it is easy to have an abortion but it isn't easy to have a miscarriage.

Valli

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

My opinion will be unpopular but it is factual.

It cannot be both

EITHER

you are stating your opinion

OR

you're stating an irrefutable fact.

Just because it's your opinion doesn't make it a fact!

And choosing to have a termination IS dealing with the consequences of failed (as opposed to 'poor'' - there are many family planning choices and no guarantees!) family planning! Just not choosing to deal with them how you would like them to be dealt with.

Tiddlywinks

Valli wrote: »

It cannot be both

EITHER

you are stating your opinion

OR

you're stating an irrefutable fact.

Just because it's your opnion doesn't make it a fact!

The facts:

The OP say she is pregnant because of failed contraceptive.

No contraceptive is ever noted to be 100% effective.

Using more than one contraceptive will increase the chances of preventing pregnancy.

The OP is choosing to use abortion to end the life of her baby.

My opinion on those facts will most likely not be popular.

Valli

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

The facts:

The OP say she is pregnant because of failed contraceptive.

No contraceptive is ever noted to be 100% effective.

Using more than one contraceptive will increase the chances of preventing pregnancy.

The OP is choosing to use abortion to end the life of her baby.

My opinion on those facts will most likely not be popular.

But it's still an opinion! And I hadn't finished my post;) Apart from anything else there was a typo, now edited.

The OP is perfectly entitled to elect to have her pregnancy terminated by an abortion. You have the right to disapprove of her choice. Or not.

Tiddlywinks

In my opinion...

Having man/woman sex comes with the risk of pregnancy.

Not using sufficient contraceptives when you know you must not get pregnant is reckless in the extreme... so no sympathy from me.

Then choosing to end your child's life to mitigate any financial impact of that 'mistake' is just too awful to articulate.

How can you measure a life in £sss?

Valli

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

In my opinion...

Having man/woman sex comes with the risk of pregnancy.

Not using sufficient contraceptives when you know you must not get pregnant is reckless in the extreme... so no sympathy from me.

Then choosing to end your child's life to mitigate any financial impact of that 'mistake' is just too awful to articulate.

How can you measure a life in £sss?

Given that the OP and her husband have been together for quite some time then it would appear that their contraceptive choices have been reasonable (because they have been succesful) up to now!
Add in that they were also moving towards a more permanent form of contraception and I think that the OP deserves some sympathy here.

And as for the question - How can you measure a life in £ss? - the Government and other agencies are forever publishing the 'cost' of bringing up baby. So it's not hard to do.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/families-struggling-as-cost-of-bringing-up-a-child-rises-to-148000-warns-cpag-8773759.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10305167/Boys-more-expensive-as-cost-of-raising-a-child-hits-almost-100000.html

Person_one

mumps wrote: »

Some of the comments on here are quite hard to take for someone who has had a miscarriage, well it is for me. Saying it is as hard or harder for someone to have an abortion seems insulting, when I started bleeding I would have done anything to have a choice. Unfortunately Prochoice doesn't include miscarriages.

I have no desire to make it harder for the OP, or anyone who choses any abortion, but please don't tell me it is harder for them. If it is any comfort to the OP I have several friends who have had abortions who seem to be quite comfortable with the decisions and tell me they have never regretted their decision.

Please don't take it personally, this is all about individual women and their unique circumstances. There's no competition, no need for comparison at all, and no need to make any judgements.

Person_one

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Sorry, but if you absolutely needed not to get pregnant then you should have used a belt and braces approach.

The reality is that now you are choosing to end a life rather than deal with the consequences of your poor family planning.

My opinion will be unpopular but it is factual.

You are pregnant and you are asking for opinions on ending a life. Why should everyone be expected to just be OK with that? I'm not, and I have as much right to say that as those of you that think it's OK to use abortion as an add-on to contraception.

Why should anyone have a say over what happens to somebody else's reproductive organs?

heartbreak_star

From a purely unemotive point of view - the OP is choosing to remove a mass of cells from her body. As I have already stated, that's what a 7-week embryo is.

HBS x