Sensitive first post

balletshoes

OP I believe what you have said on this thread, about your situation, and about what you have been offered as options at the clinic.

Good luck with your decision and with the coming weeks.

daisiegg

jetplane wrote: »

Well there you go GwylimT & daisyegg two posts which judge the woman who has chosen and who therefore carries blame and is therefore less deserving of sympathy. I rest my case

Edited: never mind

mumps

Has the Abortion Act been changed? I didn't think finance, or lack of it, was one of the reasons a doctor, well two doctors, could agree to a legal abortion.

OP you sound really sad, I hope you work things out, I know what it is like to have child rearing go on and on, my eldest was 21 when youngest was born and it isn't always easy. Do take care of yourself whatever you decide.

jetplane

daisyegg I am not getting emotional :rotfl: but abortion is an emotional issue.
Picture this, a woman is having a few tears in the staff room and a colleague asks why she is upset. She replies it is a year ago today that my unborn baby died. Oh did you have a miscarriage? No I had a termination. Should that affect the colleagues response? In my opinion no, but we know it sometimes does.

And for the record I would have the same sympathy for someone who has made a difficult decision to end a relationship as someone who had been dumped. Neither situation is easy.

My sympathy is not measured on a sliding scale.

Edit: you have deleted your post

daisiegg

jetplane wrote: »

daisyegg I am not getting emotional :rotfl: but abortion is an emotional issue.
Picture this, a woman is having a few tears in the staff room and a colleague asks why she is upset. She replies it is a year ago today that my unborn baby died. Oh did you have a miscarriage? No I had a termination. Should that affect the colleagues response? In my opinion no, but we know it sometimes does.

And for the record I would have the same sympathy for someone who has made a difficult decision to end a relationship as someone who had been dumped. Neither situation is easy.

My sympathy is not measured on a sliding scale.

Edit: you have deleted your post

Personally I would not be telling random colleagues that I had had a miscarriage or a termination and I think most people don't discuss those things with many others.

Laurajo_2

Sorry, but abortion is a choice. I am sure it is a devasting, heart wrenching choice, but it is still an act of choice.

Miscarriage is not.

OP, I hope you come to the decision which is right for you - whatever you do, make sure you have all the support around you that you can.

Person_one

mumps wrote: »

Has the Abortion Act been changed? I didn't think finance, or lack of it, was one of the reasons a doctor, well two doctors, could agree to a legal abortion.

I think we all know that the process is essentially a formality. One of the reasons that can be used is the woman's mental health, and being forced to carry on a pregnancy you don't want is undeniably bad for that.

We more or less have abortion on demand, thankfully.

Person_one

daisiegg wrote: »

Personally I would not be telling random colleagues that I had had a miscarriage or a termination and I think most people don't discuss those things with many others.

It's far far more socially acceptable to tell people you've had a miscarriage than an abortion though. Plenty of people do share that information, all the time, especially if they'd already announced the pregnancy to friends and family.

Torry_Quine

Laurajo wrote: »

Sorry, but abortion is a choice. I am sure it is a devasting, heart wrenching choice, but it is still an act of choice.

Miscarriage is not.

OP, I hope you come to the decision which is right for you - whatever you do, make sure you have all the support around you that you can.

That's why some may feel it better to pretend it was a miscarriage. Saying abortion is a 'choice' while strictly true doesn't tell the whole story and there is still a loss.

System

fluffnutter wrote: »

... I know that I wouldn't post on the internet about it . Like you say, it's such an emotional topic - rarely ends well.

I probably wouldn't either, but maybe that's just me, that said as I said personally I know what id do in that situation so I wouldn't need to ask others, but I can maybe understand why someone who wasn't sure would