Universities and the myths

notanothergreyhair

I just wrote the longest and most considered post I have ever made on this site and the s*dding net went and died on me.

Blacksheep1979

studentphil wrote: »

Here is my one and only private life line that I have from them. I can not use the phone, go out, post a letter or do anything without them knowing. I have almost no private space or any privacy at all.

In that case your parents are overbearing stalking loonies who fill your head with rubbish and don't have a scooby about the real world - ignore what they want you to do and sort yourself out.

studentphil

rubuhoeikanaika wrote: »

In that case, why have you ignored my post about moving out?

rubuhoe

I have not, but my parents would have a nervous break if I tried anything like that and I could not do that to them. My pets would run away with all the shouting and arguing that would result and my life would be even more hell than it is now. So it is better to be trapped in unhappiness and take small steps in getting happy than to wreck my family and to have to live in some hole.

Jennie_2

studentphil wrote: »

Fools or not, out dated or not, they are all I have who will be there for me. My friends have their own lives and they are not interested about my life, nor could I ever tell them as it is too shameful to tell them. You lot here think I am awful and don't like me. I only have one person who cares for me in the world other than my parents and if I told her how bad I feel sometimes then I am sure she would stop liking me too.

I don't wonder I feel so shattered and so much on edge.

Never, ever once have I said you are awful and that I don't like you.

I have tried not to get drawn into your threads for a several reasons, one of which might surprise you!!!

1. I fear I would spend hours here trying to help you (as I would anyone on here, if I can), and I can see from others they have done the same and you haven't listened. That would be a waste of my precious time; time I am spending trying to continually improve myself and provide for my family.
2. I am actually wary of "student Phil" threads because of some of the comments made to you are really nasty and I try, really try, to believe that you are "real", just very misguided.
3. I actually wonder whether the biggest battle with you is a "class" issue? To most of us, taking a job to pay your way and get a foot on the first rung of the ladder is paramount. To you it seems important to get the "right" job to impress your parents (and no doubt their friends and peer group). If you did get a job in McDonalds or similar I wonder whether you feel this would bring great "shame" on your family?

As I have already mentioned I do tend to give your threads a wide berth and may therefore have missed this (sorry everyone if I am repeating myself) but are you actually "typical" student age or are you older?

To be frank I know you appreciate the support of your parents but I feel the environment you live in seems to be detrimental to your potential success in dealing with your life. Leaving home doesn't mean you don't love your parent, you know....

rubuhoeikanaika

studentphil wrote: »

I have not, but my parents would have a nervous break if I tried anything like that and I could not do that to them. My pets would run away with all the shouting and arguing that would result and my life would be even more hell than it is now. So it is better to be trapped in unhappiness and take small steps in getting happy than to wreck my family and to have to live in some hole.

They'll get over it - your parents had a life before you came along you know.

Grow some balls, pack your stuff and present it as a fait accompli.

Your parents might get upset at first, but imagine a month later - their son moved out, and paying his own way. Maybe not with the greatest job in the world, but at least not living on handouts from them or the state. If your parents wouldn't prefer that to you living there unemployed then they have serious problems and you need to get out of there.

Though I can't help but feel that many of your parents' supposed attitudes are just you projecting your own prejudices and reluctance. How do you know how they'll react? You have so many nonsense assumptions about the outside world, I'm inclined to believe the same is true about your home life.

rubuhoe

studentphil

Jennie wrote: »

Never, ever once have I said you are awful and that I don't like you.

I have tried not to get drawn into your threads for a several reasons, one of which might surprise you!!!

1. I fear I would spend hours here trying to help you (as I would anyone on here, if I can), and I can see from others they have done the same and you haven't listened. That would be a waste of my precious time; time I am spending trying to continually improve myself and provide for my family.
2. I am actually wary of "student Phil" threads because of some of the comments made to you are really nasty and I try, really try, to believe that you are "real", just very misguided.
3. I actually wonder whether the biggest battle with you is a "class" issue? To most of us, taking a job to pay your way and get a foot on the first rung of the ladder is paramount. To you it seems important to get the "right" job to impress your parents (and no doubt their friends and peer group). If you did get a job in McDonalds or similar I wonder whether you feel this would bring great "shame" on your family?

As I have already mentioned I do tend to give your threads a wide berth and may therefore have missed this (sorry everyone if I am repeating myself) but are you actually "typical" student age or are you older?

To be frank I know you appreciate the support of your parents but I feel the environment you live in seems to be detrimental to your potential success in dealing with your life. Leaving home doesn't mean you don't love your parent, you know....

I am normal student age. My parents would not be keen telling their friends that I work in afast food and how their friends would look down on me and them for having a son who can only get a job like that when their children have got top professional jobs.

Blacksheep1979

I think we may have stumbled upon the route of alot of your problems here mate - your parents. Who wouldn't have problems if their parents monitored their mail, telephone calls and where they were every minute of the day at 21? Your parents are nutters, you need to get your own space and stop caring about what they or their screwed up friends think.

studentphil

Blacksheep1979 wrote: »

I think we may have stumbled upon the route of alot of your problems here mate - your parents. Who wouldn't have problems if their parents monitored their mail, telephone calls and where they were every minute of the day at 21? Your parents are nutters, you need to get your own space and stop caring about what they or their screwed up friends think.

Do you think your parents would be happy to say with pride to everyone that you as their son or daughter spent years studying and is working in fast food rather than a top banker? Or are my parents really that odd?

BigBouncyBall

Blacksheep1979 wrote: »

I think we may have stumbled upon the route of alot of your problems here mate - your parents. Who wouldn't have problems if their parents monitored their mail, telephone calls and where they were every minute of the day at 21? Your parents are nutters, you need to get your own space and stop caring about what they or their screwed up friends think.

I think we certainly have. I've been in on a lot of SP threads and have never heard about these parent issues. I feel bad now. SP is clearly unhappy and in need of professional help

Phil - if you take nothing else from this today, take this - go to the doctor and tell him all about this and how you feel. i suspect you go to the doctor occasionally with your disabilities and all - i'm not quite sure why he hasn't picked up on this before.

studentphil

What you have to understand is that my family were told that I would be educationally backward and I would probably have no quality of life when I was younger and if I ended up in some really low level job then it would make their greatest fears come true that I am useless.