Teens and sex in the house

McKneff

What would you be doing if it was your own children doing this.


Think about that


And then do the same with her.

dandelionclock30

You just need to tell her straight this is your house and that she not to bring s h a g s back. Tell her if she does it again, you will tell the person to leave yourself and you dont dont care how far they have got. Its got nothing to do with you not being her Mum, but you do have control over who sets foot in your house.
She taking the michael and if she wants to do that she can book a room somewhere.She works so she could go to travelodge or somewhere like that.

jetplane

OK so your not her mum and her dad wasn't there when she was growing up. She needs to understand that whatever the reasons are for the past you are what she has right now and you are there for her. However in your house she lives by your rules. Many people in your situation would not be so accommodating, when you say you just found out was it news for your husband also?

This is an issue which comes up in families who have always been together and she may feel that you have set a precedent by allowing her long time boyfriend to stay. Surely she can understand how you could not allow a stranger into your home especially when you are asleep and even more so with children in the house?

She may have had a very different upbringing but at 19 if she wants to be treat like an adult she has to behave like an adult and respect your wishes. Otherwise she can book a room.

edit I seem to have cross posted but we're all saying the same thing

Tiglath

What's her Dad saying about this? It shouldn't be entirely your job to enforce the houserules. I agree with taking her keys if she does it again. As she now has a job I'd be asking her about her plans to save up and go rent her own place.

thorsoak

If things are so wonderful with her mother and aunt ....why is she not living with them now? Ask her?

As others have said, this is not acceptable behaviour, either in a family or in a flat share. It would seem as if she has been brought up in little more than at wh0re house .....does she always want to live like this?

Tanswell88

I think, you need to set boundaries. At 19 shes old enough to know better then bringing just a casual fling back to your house.
If it was me I would compromise with her. I'd tell her she is not aloud to bring any Tom, Richard or Harry home BUT once she is in a relationship and you've gotten to know the person who she is seeing - as they would be sleeping in your house they are more then welcome to stop over.

AcidHouse

Consider the long-term impression the daughter's behaviour will leave on your own children. Although it's probably unthinkable at the moment due to their age, if they are at home with you when they hit 18+, you'll have a hard job refusing their demands to get away with the same kind of behaviour as she is at the moment.

fluffnutter

AcidHouse wrote: »

Consider the long-term impression the daughter's behaviour will leave on your own children. Although it's probably unthinkable at the moment due to their age, if they are at home with you when they hit 18+, you'll have a hard job refusing their demands to get away with the same kind of behaviour as she is at the moment.

Agree with this. OP, you say she thinks it's normal because that's what she saw around her when growing up. That's not what you want for your kids...

sleepymans

Your house, you make the rules.
No-one enters without YOUR sayso.
If she thinks she can do better, then let her.
You surely cannot willingly be complicit in such dangerous, immoral and quite frankly sleazy behaviour??

Bloody hell....does she need to grow up!

arbroath_lass

Sadly there seems to be a lot of children growing up in households where such behaviour IS normal.


Rather than just banning bringing one night stands back (which I agree you do need to do) the question is how to help her realise she and the whole family are worth more than that?


The problem with doing the first and not the second is that she is likely to end up going back to the man's home which puts her in even more danger.