2014: a selfish year

lulabelle

Emily, it will be easier than you think once you start - trust me

So stayed in last night and pretty much stuck to plan but did have 10 squares if galaxy honeycomb crisp - oops - but then again, could only manage half the steak (so rest for lunch today - v MSE) and am not drinking at the moment plus still only equivalent to a normal sized choc bar at 210kcals

Meant to do another run today but have decided not to because if I do then I'll have been exercising since thuds with no rest day until next sun. The programme I'm on for the running envisages 3 runs a week with 4 rest days whereas I'm also doing 3 x hardcore workouts with a trainer so I don't feel too guilty as I think it's best thing

So, just watching fa cup highlights (my cousin is a pro footballer and played yesterday so want to see his game) then will do some cleaning. Have to pick someone up from airport then meeting friends later for coffees but will try to avoid hot chocolate and food!

On the man front some guy I'd been exchanging messages with but who didn't respond when I said "so when you taking me out for a drink" (bearing in kind this was about 3 weeks ago) messages me saying "how are you, have you had a good Xmas and new year" - erm, does he seriously expect a response?! Well, he's not getting one!!!!

lulabelle

Ok so mainly a MSE and healthy day

Had leftover steak as a beef and horseradish sandwich for lunch then met friends for coffee. Has skinny lattes and only ate one of the 2 mini flakes which came with! Now have a sweet potato baking in the oven which will have with some mozzarella.

No exercise today but do need a rest day and had a real laugh with friends so they say laughter is the best medicine

Taking some of the things I bought yesterday back so should get around 55 back on my card and just picked in the £20 the take away owed me (whilst successfully resisting getting a take away) as paid twice by mistake a few weeks ago.

Downside is cat is poorly and so need to take him to vets tomorrow which won't be covered by insurance as will be likely under the excess poor little mite is looking very sorry for himself, keeps sneezing and has runny eyes. Breaks my heart

Tonight is free entertainment in the form of the film "the terminal" which I sky plussed the other day then early night as up at 540am to be working out with my trainer at 615!!!!!

The_Green_Lady

Great diary, inspired me re the running, thank you. I have subscribed. xx

lulabelle

So, was up at 540. Got a cup of coffee down me then went to studio to see trainer. Worked with him for 45 mins from 615. Killed me but now feel great. Had a protein shake miked with water and yoghurt when I got back and now showered and getting ready for work and will still be at work for 830!

Got to take cat to vets at some point today as he's now not speaking to me - think he thinks his being poorly is somehow my fault. I keep telling him I'm taking him to the vets but he's not happy!

Was hard to motivate self to get out of bed that early given it was pitch black on my walk to studio (and on way back) but then I know people who would give anything to be able to train as they are terminally ill or have disabilities so keep telling myself to be grateful for my health and to use it while I can

Hope everyone is ok on what is said to be "miserable Monday". Just keep going until the weekend and know the days will get brighter soon!

lulabelle

Ok, so today I was supposed to run this morning but too dark and no backlight on my watch (new watch with backlight supposed to arrive tomorrow) so instead I was really good and went after work despite it lashing down with rain and my getting soaked!

Yesterday wasn't very good on the no spend front as had to take cat to vets and that was 64!!!! He has tonsillitis apparently so charged for consult and 2 x injections - he seems brighter but is still sneezing etc. then I had to buy him some soft food for his throat and I also got some cheese and ham to make sarnies to take with me to work

Today has been more successful as complete NSD and lunch and dinner from stores! Making tomorrow's lunch too to also try and have another NSD

On the man front I went on a date before Xmas and the chap had texted saying we should meet up again but then didn't really hear from him (didn't really fancy him much anyway) then today I get a text saying sorry he's not been in touch but he's started seeing someone!!! This seems to keep happening to me and is more than annoying!!!!

lulabelle

This morning I worked out with my trainer so not MSE but felt good! He's really pushing me at the moment

Rest of today rather dull as on a big project at work out the office so got banging headache after that. But all meals from stores today

Supposed to have lunch out with a friend tomorrow so will try and keep that as cheap as possible and need some milk on way home tomorrow. Wondering if should be charging client for petrol as having to drive to and from this place every day so my own petrol is depleting. Might well do so.

Have got my run to do tomorrow at 6am. New watch not yet arrived but I found a torch so that will have to do!!!

Only 2 days until the weekend - yippeeee!

lulabelle

Am a bit deflated as didn't do my run this morning as calves felt very tight! So have decided to shift it to Sunday (next one will be sat) and focus on training tomorrow morning instead for fear I may injure myself!

Cancelled lunch with friend as forgot had clients over so stuck to diet (mainly) other than a biscuit in client meeting but tried to pick the healthiest one!!! Spent on way home (over 14) as buckled and bought a magazine but also got healthy stuff for dinner so got chicken and covered it in Cajun spices then griddled it and has it with asparagus - was so nice!!!! Still a bit hungry though!! Up,early tomorrow for 615am workout with trainer then have to be in office for 830 before another long day of looking at documents!!!

Day 9 of no booze but may crack tomorrow as out for dinner with friends!!

lulabelle

Worked out yesterday which was excellent but well and truly cracked last night at dinner with friends and had 3 courses and buckets of wine so god knows how many calories that was. It was also £80 each which is not good!

So trying to get back on track today although pretty hungover so not sure if will run or not. Only just managed to get up and need to go into town to return some things and drop things off for dry cleaning/re-heeling and pick up a few bits from boots

Then have to do a grocery shop. Have made a list so will stick to it! Very healthy stuff for new recipes to try from the magazine I bought the other night. Also need petrol and some more cooking utensils so today is going to be spendy. Taking into account what I need to pay my trainer and before today's spending I am already £120 into next months money and we don't get paid until 27th!!! Not good but staying in tonight and tomorrow will be running and spend free other than cinema but it's only £6 and because of diet will not buy sweets etc and will just take a bottle of water from home

Going to try to rein in the spending next week. Have a friends surprise baby shower next sat but rather than a spendy afternoon tea out or some extravagant gift my friends have thankfully decided that everyone should just bring something for the tea (which is being held at a friends house) and a practical gift to make up a basket of baby wipes, nappies, things like that which they will find useful in the early weeks so at least that's fairly cheap!

Why is it so easy to spend money?!

lulabelle

Hmmmm not meaning to be on a downer on a Monday as Mondays are depressing enough as it is but I didn't have a great weekend

Friday night was fab as set out above but meant I was hungover and knackered Saturday and didn't run. Ended up going to bed at 930!

Then I think alcohol makes me depressed. Didn't drink Saturday but think the effects of the alcohol on Friday kicked in yesterday as was really quite down again

Keep thinking I'm going to be single forever and worrying I'll never have a child. Have tried to take pressure off self by agreeing with myself that if I get to 39 and still single I'll get a donor but it is on my mind constantly

As a result I didn't run or even leave the house. Friends wanted to meet for coffee but I couldn't face it.

On a plus I did manage to clean the kitchen including the floor which means that room is at least nice

I really struggled to get up to train this morning as didn't really sleep last night and was going to cancel but forced self to go and feel slightly better now

Does anyone have any motivational words?

lulabelle

Oh and someone who I thought was a close friend really upset me Friday night saying she thinks I'm a lesbian (want to make it clear I have no issues with lesbians or gays I'm just saying I'm not)

I didn't ask for my fianc! to have an affair and leave me (and it devastated me) or the person I was with after that to cheat. I don't want to be single but I can't seem to find a man

It was really hurtful