Would this bother you?

azzabazza

I am waiting to get back a Stage 2 car seat I lent my SIL for her grandson (on the understanding I got it back when she managed to get her own). Still waiting 2 years on and one of my grandchildren now requires a Stage 2 seat. DH spoke to his sister recently mentioning we could do with our seat back and she informed us she had handed it on to someone else! I was unimpressed with this I can tell you!

peachyprice

If I was planning on having more children myself, then yes, I would be miffed, if not then no, I would rather they went to good use than sat in my loft.

Anything of my children's that I wanted to keep to pass on to them when they have their own families has stayed with me and not been lent to anyone.

Scrapaholic

It was cheeky of them to pass things on without asking you . It's years since something similar happened to our stuff , many years ! If you really want to keep something , just don't lend it out . I find , and not just with baby stuff, if someone has your things and something happens to your stuff , they haven't had to pay for it in the first place , it's broken, lost, whatever . They don't care and there's nothing you can do about it .

notanewuser

busiscoming2 wrote: »

I'd probably be annoyed too. If someone lent me something and I was even thinking of passing it on, I'd ask the lender first.

Did you actually say that you wanted it back in the first place? I think I would have been inclined to ask for it back when the child had outgrown it.

It's just hard when you're far away and can't see what is being used regularly.

mummyroysof3

Yes it would bother me but I would try not to let it get to me and I would not be lending out anything else. Give them each a list of stuff you want back but realistically I'm not sure you will see any of it again. This is what happens when people are good natured...they get walked all over

notanewuser

silvercar wrote: »

I think this is relevant. If you happily lent them out for babies B and C there is no reason to think that you would not want D and E to use them unless you were likely to have another yourself. They probably thought it is unnecessary to give them back only to ask again to borrow.

No excuse, just an explanation. I had similar, friends squeezed two out between my two - one had the cheek to moan when I announced I was pregnant with number 2 that this meant they would have to return certain items before they had finished with them.

I leant the toy for A and the seat for B. the toy has now been used by A, C and E and the seat B and D. 2 of my SILs had their second babies very soon after the first, hence no time to get them back as they went straight from older to younger sibling.

silvercar

notanewuser wrote: »

I leant the toy for A and the seat for B. the toy has now been used by A, C and E and the seat B and D. 2 of my SILs had their second babies very soon after the first, hence no time to get them back as they went straight from older to younger sibling.

I guess they just thought that if you were happy to lend for the first born, you would be happy to lend for the second born.

notanewuser

silvercar wrote: »

I guess they just thought that if you were happy to lend for the first born, you would be happy to lend for the second born.

I don't think they thought at all!!

poet123

notanewuser wrote: »

I don't think they thought at all!!

Well, surely they wouldn't have done it if they hadn't thought that? Or are you suggesting that it was done with the intent to annoy you?

You have mentioned on here that it is unlikely you will have more children so have they got that idea too? If so, it is no excuse for not checking with you, but if that is the case I would rather they be used than stuck in the loft or garage.

sulkisu

Just a thought, but did you make it clear that they were only on loan? I know that with my boys, I only gave away things that I didn't need again as I wasn't really expecting them back in a condition where they could be used again (if that makes sense). Therefore when I gave them to people, and likewise when people gave things to me, it was never expressed that they were only on loan. It was more a case of 'I have x that you can have' or 'you might be able to use this'. I suppose it depends on the item. It would only annoy me if I had specifically said that I wanted/expected it back. TBH if it was a high value item and they said that they expected it back (such as the £100 baby toy), I would probably not have accepted it in the first place - simply because I would be worried about damaging it.