Seller appears on doorstep...

Flyonthewall

The OP asked for the parcel to be posted. Any hassle has been caused by the seller who either ignores messages or isn't smart enough to check what the answer is before sending her husband.

The OP agreed to it being posted as specified in the listing, that's what they wanted, so the seller is the only one to blame for any hassle.

powerful_Rogue

So im presuming all those talking about the postage being specified in the listing - If you paid for 2nd class postage, but the seller sent it 1st class or special delivery - You would be complaining as thats not what you paid for?

1jim

To me the only relevant facts are that seller asked if it could be dropped off, the buyer said it wasn't convenient, the seller ignored this and did it anyway. Let's not be fooled, this was not for the buyers benefit.

Flyonthewall

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

So im presuming all those talking about the postage being specified in the listing - If you paid for 2nd class postage, but the seller sent it 1st class or special delivery - You would be complaining as thats not what you paid for?

You are still paying for an official postal service that way.

1st class can take as long as 2nd is meant to sometimes and sometimes 2nd class can come sooner than expected. Both are still by standard mail, I can't imagine anyone would complain over that.

Special Delivery on the other hand is different. It requires a signature. So if you haven't agreed to that then yes, some people may be annoyed. Same goes for signed for, although that's not guaranteed.

Same goes for a different courier than specified. Some people won't bid if the listing states, for example, Yodel or MyHermes. So if it says Royal Mail or another courier and it's delivered by one they didn't want then again some people will be annoyed.

Arlandria606

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

Ah, slowly but surly more of the story is evolving!

So he knocked on the door, you answered and then pointed out a "No cold callers" sign.

I bet he replied along the lines of "Im not though, ive brought you the item you've won on ebay"

I can then imagine you being quite rude and agitated.

No, that's not what happened. I've already explained what happened. This post was me clarifying, unnecessarily and irrelevantly, that I'm not happy with cold callers.

He knocked on the door, I answered, he said he had a parcel from eBay for me, I said oh, I actually asked for that to be posted. Not rudely, not angrily, in genuine surprise and nothing more.

Why is everyone so convinced that I must have started some kind of fight with him?! Is it really so inconceivable that, out of me and another person you know nothing about, the other person is the one to escalate matters?

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

Because people lie to get the response they want sometimes.

OP wants to complain the male turned up with her item despite her telling the seller she didnt want it hand delivered. This is the original complaint.

I doubt the OP would tell us she was rude, aggressive and threatning as it would take away some empathy from her story.

You're right, people do that. However, if you'd bother to read my original post, you'd see that what I WANT from this post is some advice regarding how to effectively feed back to the seller that I'm not happy with what happened. If I lie about what happened, I'm hardly going to get that, am I?

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

Important bit above! If your going to start talking about revoking implied rights of access etc, then to do it correctly then you have to do what the law says.

Anyway, depends what the OP wrote. "No, can you post it as I will be out tomorrow" isnt revoking an implied right of access.

Here's the details of the communication:

Arlandria606 wrote: »

They worded it like this:

"Is it ok if my husband drops this off tomorrow as he will be in that area?"

Definitely a question, not an FYI. For the record, my response was "Sorry to be difficult, but no, it's not okay - please could you post it as you would usually do".

I don't know if it was an assumption and they didn't check, or whether they got my message and ignored it - either way, the outcome is the same.

I didn't give a reason, as it's none of her business why it's not okay (and I don't want to advertise to a stranger with my address that my house will be empty on a specific date, funnily enough) and I did specifically ask that it be posted, so there's no way she could misinterpret my wishes here.

wiogs wrote: »

Thanks I must have missed that. I thought that the OP had concerns about a future "misuse" of their address.

I wasn't worried about that originally. (If I was, eBay would not be the place for me.) However, since the seller has ignored my wishes and allowed her representative to threaten me on my doorstep, I am now concerned that they may want to do something as "payback" for their "inconvenience" and I can't help but consider that they have many more options with the information that is my full name and address. It's not a serious concern, but the thought has occurred to me, and it's unpleasant. That shouldn't be happening.

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

So im presuming all those talking about the postage being specified in the listing - If you paid for 2nd class postage, but the seller sent it 1st class or special delivery - You would be complaining as thats not what you paid for?

Potentially, yes. If someone paid for a not-signed-for delivery, knowing they'd be out or on holiday when it arrived, and then had to arrange collecting the item or having it re-delivered in order to sign for it, someone might be annoyed at the unexpected inconvenience - especially if it delayed the receipt of the item to beyond the date it was required for.

A service being more expensive or otherwise "valuable" than another service does not automatically make it "better" for the recipient of said service.

--

I really don't understand why the whole "why wasn't it okay" part is still being discussed. It is NOT relevant! The fact is that I said no, clearly and in good time, and it happened anyway. I'm not asking to debate my reasons, or hypothetical reasons, as to why I said no, nor how anyone else on this forum feels about the situation itself. I'm certainly not asking for anyone's rudeness, opinions on my mental health (thanks SO much for those by the way - if I did actually have mental problems I'm sure the barrage of unwarranted nastiness from some people here would have had an effect by now), insults, or implications that I'm lying or creating multiple accounts to back myself up(!). If that's all you have to contribute, please, do so out loud and spare me the bother of reading it.

I'm asking for advice on feeding back to the seller that asking a buyer if something is okay, the buyer saying no, and that being ignored, is inappropriate and will probably lead to negative feedback for them. I provided details of the situation for context and mentioned that the seller's husband got agitated and angry because it's relevant to how I might choose to word my message to the seller, both in terms of the level of "offense" committed and in terms of managing their reaction (as I don't want to provoke further anger from either of them).

Thank you to those who have shared some advice - it's greatly appreciated.

powerful_Rogue

Arlandria606 wrote: »

I wasn't worried about that originally. (If I was, eBay would not be the place for me.) However, since the seller has ignored my wishes and allowed her representative to threaten me on my doorstep, I am now concerned that they may want to do something as "payback" for their "inconvenience" and I can't help but consider that they have many more options with the information that is my full name and address. It's not a serious concern, but the thought has occurred to me, and it's unpleasant. That shouldn't be happening.

Sorry, but I think your being over paranoid there.

Im curious. Item starts at 99p with first class postage as the sending option. You win the item for £55. Seller then decides to send special delivery -You would honestly be annoyed?

powerful_Rogue

Flyonthewall wrote: »

You are still paying for an official postal service that way.

Sorry, but what makes a postal service official?

Flyonthewall

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

Sorry, but what makes a postal service official?

The fact it's an actual company, not one man delivering something for his wife. I thought that would be obvious...

Just_Passing_Bi

I've followed this thread, and to me, the only issue is

1jim wrote: »

the only relevant facts are that seller asked if it could be dropped off, the buyer said it wasn't convenient, the seller ignored this and did it anyway. Let's not be fooled, this was not for the buyers benefit.

No idea why the big inquest

Fishingtime

Maybe the seller that knocked on your door has a job as a courier ?