Seller appears on doorstep...

theonlywayisup

Arlandria606 wrote: »

Where exactly did I say I was upset?

If you have nothing to contribute to a thread, perhaps you shouldn't post.



How exactly would a spyhole or chain allow me to identify the total stranger on my doorstep as the specific total stranger I've asked not to come round? It wouldn't change anything - I would still have had to open the door to find out who it was, and therefore the exchange would still have taken place.

I don't recall if I've already said as much, but there is absolutely no benefit to me receiving the item sooner.

I really don't understand why some people are having such a hard time with this concept. My reasons are my own and irrelevant. I was asked if a stranger could come to my house. I said no. They showed up anyway. How is it so difficult to see the problem with that? The rebuttal seems to be "I wouldn't have a problem with that so stop whining". That's not a valid rebuttal. I don't have a problem sleeping with my husband, but that doesn't mean I would expect everyone in the world to be okay with it!

What I was hoping to get out of this post were some suggestions as to how to politely let the seller know that I wasn't happy with her husband showing up after I'd said no. I'm not looking for a long list of rude comments, attacks, and suggestions that I should be locked up in a fort in case random strangers decide to descend uninvited on my house. It's even more baffling to me that I have to point that out! Why on earth do so many people think it's acceptable to behave in such a way towards total strangers whose only "crime" against you is to have the audacity to not be comfortable with something you're comfortable with, especially when that wasn't even the point of the post?!

Where didn't you say you were upset?

It's an open forum and people are entitled to their own opinion, like it or not, and it isn't for you to tell people not to post.

Sort of proves my point.

Flyonthewall

Arlandria606 wrote: »

Where exactly did I say I was upset?

I didn't read it that way, I took it as slight sarcasm at the start and an attempt to gain understanding. But sadly any attempt at defending your view when it's in written form leaves it open for people to assume how you feel.

What I was hoping to get out of this post were some suggestions as to how to politely let the seller know that I wasn't happy with her husband showing up after I'd said no. I'm not looking for a long list of rude comments, attacks, and suggestions that I should be locked up in a fort in case random strangers decide to descend uninvited on my house. It's even more baffling to me that I have to point that out! Why on earth do so many people think it's acceptable to behave in such a way towards total strangers whose only "crime" against you is to have the audacity to not be comfortable with something you're comfortable with, especially when that wasn't even the point of the post?!

Problem with the internet is people will take what they want from a post, happily go off topic, debate etc.

This forum is usually a very helpful, friendly place. It's a shame a few people in this thread have decided to be so rude and judge.

Flyonthewall

superfran_uk wrote: »

So, if it had been another stranger, say a Jehovah's Witness or a person trying to sell you insurance or encyclopaedias, you'd be fine with it, but you specifically don't want a husband of an ebay seller at your door bringing you something you ordered? Ok then.

I know you're trying to make a point but I'm ignoring it because the reason for not wanting the guy there has been explained so many times. Instead I'm going to say, who an earth ever wants a Jehovah's Witness or someone trying to sell you rubbish at your door?

I think you picked the worst possible caller examples there. If it were me I wouldn't want them two or the guy after I'd said no.

superfran_uk

Flyonthewall wrote: »

I know you're trying to make a point but I'm ignoring it because the reason for not wanting the guy there has been explained so many times. Instead I'm going to say, who an earth ever wants a Jehovah's Witness or someone trying to sell you rubbish at your door?

I think you picked the worst possible caller examples there. If it were me I wouldn't want them two or the guy after I'd said no.

It was in response to the OP saying she would have to open the door to find out it was the specific person (ebay seller) she didn't want at her door, when I suggested a spy hole (How exactly would a spyhole or chain allow me to identify the total stranger on my doorstep as the specific total stranger I've asked not to come round?). I know some people who are wary of strangers and if they see someone they don't know at the other side of the door, it doesn't get opened. I can't see why an ebay seller would be worse than any of those people.

Anyway, this is ridiculous so I'm going to leave it there now, ten pages for this...!

wiogs

superfran_uk wrote: »

But most people wouldn't mind, and I dare say it wouldn't cross the average seller's mind that that wouldn't be the case. As I said, if you don't like answering your door to strangers....don't open it.

It obviously crossed the sellers mind as they asked if this was ok.

The OP replied it wasn't.

Arlandria606

superfran_uk wrote: »

So, if it had been another stranger, say a Jehovah's Witness or a person trying to sell you insurance or encyclopaedias, you'd be fine with it, but you specifically don't want a husband of an ebay seller at your door bringing you something you ordered? Ok then.

No, I wouldn't be fine with that. That's why I display a "No Cold Callers" sign. That's me saying "no" before they ring the bell. If they ring the bell, I point out the sign. Very similar so far to what's happened with this guy. If they then start telling me that they've gone out of their way to be here, that they're going to report me to someone for not being okay with it, making agitated hand gestures, raising their voice - is that behaviour acceptable? Would you be so unable to understand my disappointment at that situation? Would you laugh at me if I was asking for suggestions on how to follow that up?

Flyonthewall

superfran_uk wrote: »

It was in response to the OP saying she would have to open the door to find out it was the specific person (ebay seller) she didn't want at her door, when I suggested a spy hole (How exactly would a spyhole or chain allow me to identify the total stranger on my doorstep as the specific total stranger I've asked not to come round?). I know some people who are wary of strangers and if they see someone they don't know at the other side of the door, it doesn't get opened. I can't see why an ebay seller would be worse than any of those people.

Anyway, this is ridiculous so I'm going to leave it there now, ten pages for this...!

I know what it was in response to. As I say, you choose the worst examples of callers as I wouldn't want any of the three.

Well no one is making people stay and reply so...

Arlandria606

Flyonthewall wrote: »

This forum is usually a very helpful, friendly place. It's a shame a few people in this thread have decided to be so rude and judge.

That's good to know - though so far I'm having trouble seeing it!

wiogs

For what it is worth and having followed the debate I would leave neutral feedback, assuming you are satisfied with the item, but leave a comment along the lines of being disappointed that the seller ignored your instructions regarding delivery.

Flyonthewall

Arlandria606 wrote: »

That's good to know - though so far I'm having trouble seeing it!

Yeah. As nice and helpful as people can be everyone has good and bad days, their own views and opinions, days they feel tired and perhaps don't read things properly and so on. Although having different views and opinions can be good it can also lead to debates, misunderstandings and, well, threads like this. That's the internet for you lol.