Seller appears on doorstep...

porto_bello

It seems the seller hit upon the idea of taking the cash for shipping, keeping it and delivering in person. That would have been fine if the buyer had agreed, but they didn't.

As the buyer wanted the item posted, the seller should have simply shipped the item, as they had been paid to and that would have been the end of it.

In ignoring the buyer and delivering the item in person, against the buyer's expressed wishes, the seller deserves a negative. For any seller to recklessly generate negatives in this way, for the sake of penny pinching a few quid is incredibly narrow-minded, foolish and short-sighted.

I feel the seller is fortunate that they haven't encountered a buyer as "creative" as themselves, who would have simply submitted a 'Item not received claim', in the knowledge that the seller would be unable to prove delivery.

Obviously many of us differ in our opinions on this situation. However, it seems clear that early on, the seller lost sight of the wider picture: In the long-term, negatives and poor DSRs are far more disadvantageous than the gain of pocketing a few extra quid for a customer delivery.

Flyonthewall

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

Was you hiding in the OP's front room peering out of the window? Maybe thats the reason she didnt want any visitors!

The reason I say that, is because you seem to claim you know everything about this situation!

lol no.

I know about the situation because I've read what the OP has said. Regardless of their reason for being uncomfortable opening the door/not wanting the guy to go round, I can understand that. As they explained in their last post, plenty of reasons why someone would feel that way.

Other things that people have misunderstood I've read how the OP intended it.

I don't claim to know everything - I know no more than you about the reasons behind feeling uncomfortable, but I know enough to understand and give the OP advice as they wanted.

May seem odd to some, but that's really all it is lol.

theonlywayisup

Arlandria606 wrote: »

Sorry I didn't respond sooner. I have to do things like cook dinner, eat dinner, sleep, shower, spend time with my family, run errands. It gets in the way of my "explaining to rude and obnoxious people on the Internet my life story so they can judge whether my reasons for not being okay with something are worthy or not even though that's not actually the point of this thread" time.

Exactly what information is it that you think is still outstanding and relevant? I suspect that you want to know why I didn't want the seller's husband to deliver by hand, even though I've said before that it's private and not something I'm prepared to share, and I and others have pointed out that it's not actually relevant.

I further strongly suspect that you are incapable of accepting any reason given and, if I were to divulge my reasons, you would simply attack me, make more explicit jokes at my expense, and judge my reasons as "not good enough", whatever they happen to be.

Given that, why on earth would I share something private and open myself up to further ridicule and insult? It's bad enough being called "weird" and "paranoid" by people who can't stop and consider that maybe there is a good reason for my feelings on the matter, regardless of whether they know what it is or not.

I can think of any number of hypothetical reasons why accepting a delivery from a stranger might be at best inconvenient or at worse traumatic for someone. Maybe they're disabled and have an agreement with the Royal Mail that all their post comes on a particular day when they have help around. Maybe they have severe agoraphobia. Maybe they're running a business from home and expecting to have clients around. Maybe they've recently experienced some kind of trauma or attack and are very wary of strangers. None of these are my reasons, but I can still think of them and appreciate that people in these situations might not want a stranger showing up on their doorstep when they were expecting an alternative and had already communicated this.

Can you really not understand that other people are experiencing life differently from you, and therefore have different views on what is and isn't okay for them to experience?

If you feel this upset perhaps you shouldn't post on an open forum.

superfran_uk

I can't believe that such a long thread has been made out if this non-issue, if you don't like strangers, get a spy hole or door chain and don't answer the door. I would be thrilled to get a item hand delivered as it would be quicker than Royal Mail.

wiogs

superfran_uk wrote: »

I can't believe that such a long thread has been made out if this non-issue, if you don't like strangers, get a spy hole or door chain and don't answer the door. I would be thrilled to get a item hand delivered as it would be quicker than Royal Mail.

And the OP wouldn't, hence the issue.

superfran_uk

wiogs wrote: »

And the OP wouldn't, hence the issue.

But most people wouldn't mind, and I dare say it wouldn't cross the average seller's mind that that wouldn't be the case. As I said, if you don't like answering your door to strangers....don't open it.

Arlandria606

theonlywayisup wrote: »

If you feel this upset perhaps you shouldn't post on an open forum.

Where exactly did I say I was upset?

If you have nothing to contribute to a thread, perhaps you shouldn't post.

superfran_uk wrote: »

I can't believe that such a long thread has been made out if this non-issue, if you don't like strangers, get a spy hole or door chain and don't answer the door. I would be thrilled to get a item hand delivered as it would be quicker than Royal Mail.

How exactly would a spyhole or chain allow me to identify the total stranger on my doorstep as the specific total stranger I've asked not to come round? It wouldn't change anything - I would still have had to open the door to find out who it was, and therefore the exchange would still have taken place.

I don't recall if I've already said as much, but there is absolutely no benefit to me receiving the item sooner.

I really don't understand why some people are having such a hard time with this concept. My reasons are my own and irrelevant. I was asked if a stranger could come to my house. I said no. They showed up anyway. How is it so difficult to see the problem with that? The rebuttal seems to be "I wouldn't have a problem with that so stop whining". That's not a valid rebuttal. I don't have a problem sleeping with my husband, but that doesn't mean I would expect everyone in the world to be okay with it!

What I was hoping to get out of this post were some suggestions as to how to politely let the seller know that I wasn't happy with her husband showing up after I'd said no. I'm not looking for a long list of rude comments, attacks, and suggestions that I should be locked up in a fort in case random strangers decide to descend uninvited on my house. It's even more baffling to me that I have to point that out! Why on earth do so many people think it's acceptable to behave in such a way towards total strangers whose only "crime" against you is to have the audacity to not be comfortable with something you're comfortable with, especially when that wasn't even the point of the post?!

Arlandria606

superfran_uk wrote: »

But most people wouldn't mind, and I dare say it wouldn't cross the average seller's mind that that wouldn't be the case. As I said, if you don't like answering your door to strangers....don't open it.

Sure, most people wouldn't mind, but I do. Had the seller not asked, the situation would have been different - I still wouldn't be comfortable with it, but since I'm capable of appreciating an opinion different from my own, I wouldn't be so put out by it, and would just let the seller know that I'd have rather it didn't happen, and they might want to ask buyers first in future. The fact is that they DID ask, and I said NO, which they then ignored.

Flyonthewall

theonlywayisup wrote: »

If you feel this upset perhaps you shouldn't post on an open forum.

They asked for advice, I doubt that they weren't expecting such a reaction.

superfran_uk wrote: »

I can't believe that such a long thread has been made out if this non-issue, if you don't like strangers, get a spy hole or door chain and don't answer the door. I would be thrilled to get a item hand delivered as it would be quicker than Royal Mail.

wiogs wrote: »

And the OP wouldn't, hence the issue.

Exactly.

Although the issue was about saying no and him coming rather than not wanting strangers. They could have the a high tech security system and the issue would still remain that he came around when they'd said no.

superfran_uk

So, if it had been another stranger, say a Jehovah's Witness or a person trying to sell you insurance or encyclopaedias, you'd be fine with it, but you specifically don't want a husband of an ebay seller at your door bringing you something you ordered? Ok then.

For the record I'm with the 'she probably didn't read the message and assumed it would be fine/worth a try' camp. I would probably do this. Hey, I'm in the area, why not give it a go. I am going to take a leap and say that at least 90% of people would be fine with it, the others wouldn't open their doors altogether.

Still, either way I can't see this is a big deal. Unless you live in a private road you will get people you don't know at your door. Every time you buy something on Ebay, you are giving your address out. I can see why the man may have been annoyed, as you were in and it could have been the end of the story with a quick 'here's your parcel' , 'thank you'...but then you turned him away and insisted he then posted the package which seems like a waste of time and money.