Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Buffythedebtslayer

Snagggles wrote: »

What about bark chippings if you're not sure you'd like the look of gravel?

A decent layer will inhibit the weeds even without the membrane, but when I've done it, I've used both to keep them to a bare minimum. The weeds that do grow will be from seeds that have blown/dropped on the top, and will have shallow weeds because of the membrane, so will be nice and easy to pull out. I bleeping hate digging out weeds with huge roots.

This garden has been so neglected that there are weeds that have been here since the war!


We did have bark, I really like it but the dogs eat it which makes them sick.......

beanielou wrote: »

I had bark at one point & it blew away.

Sorry Beanie but that did make me laugh


xx

beanielou

Better than the dogs eating it :eek: :rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer

Why do I do stupid things that are going to hurt me?


so chatted to the ex Thursday and Friday. We haven't chatted since and this has hurt me - stupid I KNOW. Any how I checked my online dating profile, he had deactivated his or hidden me or something and I just wondered if he was back - so I searched for him. Why did I do such a stupid stupid stupid stupid thing?


!!!!!!.
I have to say I then read through the messages he sent me Friday and decided 1. I had done a good job of telling him to f off (amazing really considering how much I still feel for him) and 2. I think he is really only checking that I am ok, now he knows he will fade away, message less etc if at all.


I have managed the last YEAR without him. Really this is no different. He is of the past. IT is DONE.

---

Anyhow I was talking earlier to a friend - pre stupidity above and talking about taking life in six month chunks. It avoids me panicking about my age and options.


So am starting my next six months on Sunday. it being half way through the year and all obvious eh?


I am NOT going to date online (will see how current conversation goes) . Instead I am going to make a huge effort to go out more with my friends and get used to being out in the world, doing my hair! and nails etc.


I am going to lose weight and do my list. what's the saying - if you build it they will come.........So I am going to build my self confidence and health.


(The new Tampax ad is freaking me out. )


so tired.


Big love to everyone, and lovely dreams XX

Pippilongstocking

Goodluck buffy - well done you for deciding to do something a bit differently in your life.

Six months new start sounds like a plan. I may join you.

Pooky

I think that's a highly sensible idea........until you like who you are and what you are and where you are in life, how do you know what sort of person you want to share it with. The person who might suit you now is not necessarily the one who will suit "future" you.

As soon as I'd sorted out in my head what I wanted from life I put my plan into action. Literally the same day as the light blub went "ping" I left my husband, put my life in order and got on with living. 2 weeks later I met the man I knew was supposed to be with. Luckily he felt the same way and there was no need to tie him up in the shed until he'd come round to the idea.

My mantra now is "If I don't love me then when should anyone else".....

Buffythedebtslayer

Thanks Pippilongstocking and Pooky


Today I weighed myself:)


I still weigh the same as I always have, well for about the last 8 years


I need to lose 3 stone.


3 x 14 = 42 pounds.


2 pounds a week = 21 weeks.


Roughly till Halloween..... I like to have an aim.


Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.”

Joss Whedon (Script from Buffy)


sounds naff but recently with all this stuff stirred up with the ex and coming to the end of my job. I feel less trapped and like I am actually making my choices. I don't know what is happening next and that is a good feeling


I had best crack on with all this stuff.


see you all later XX

in_need_of_direction

Not just a case of build it, they will come but also so fake it til you make it. If you act like the attributes etc are already in place, you'll send out a much more positive vibe.

Snagggles

:rotfl: Beanie, your bark blew away? You must be in a windy spot! Sorry for giggling.

Buffy, I've just rewatched the whole of, er, Buffy and there are so many quotes that hit home. This is a particular favourite at the moment:

Life's not a song.
Life isn't bliss, life is just this, it's living.
You'll get along,
The pain that you feel, you only can heal by living.


They're not the most beautifully-written lyrics in the world, but I've been hearing it my head a lot lately.

beanielou

I keep hearing 'Make it count' the quote from Stephen Sutton.
Seem to be failing on that one at the mo though.

please-let-me-be-lucky

I have 2 favourite quotes;

The serious one

"When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries, and you rejoice".

And the not so serious one

"Chinese Proverb #56
Life is like pubic hair on toilet seat
Eventually, you get p155ed off!".