Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! Part 4!!

lilmissreading

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

I'm with Peonie and T2D- email! If my friend called me in my darkest moments of ttc to tell me her happy news I'd have been happy for her, but mainly wanting to curl up in a ball and wail/ rage.

Also Emily Oster book- super good. Was the only thing that kept me sane during the first trimester as so many people butt in with do's and don'ts with seemingly little evidence. This clarifies it and allows you to make an educated decision rather than being dictated to (because as a pregnant woman you can make *no* decisions... or maybe that's just my mw/ gp/ chemist...)

:rotfl: so true. Everyone knows my needs better than me!

angeltreats

Lilmissreading - I agree 100% with T2D and the others who said email is the way to go. As someone who also struggled with infertility and was told ICSI was the only way, I was so grateful to my dear friend who gave me a heads up by text (at a time she knew I'd be at home) before announcing it generally. While I was thrilled to bits for her I did still need to go off and have a little cry by myself. I have another friend who has been TTC for years and has had two failed rounds of ICSI/FET and I will email her as well to give her time to absorb the news.

Monty Doggy, that is absolutely shocking. Like something from the 1950s. No advice but sending you big hugs.

FallenArcher good luck for the scan today!

lilmissreading

monty-doggy wrote: »

I'm not in a union and I was an external candidate.
I don't want to stay after I've had my baby because it's too far from home and she won't consider a part time request anyway. I hope if I work hard my area manager may offer me a part time closer to home but if not I'll find a new job.

I'm just going to get on with it and rise above and give her no reason to single me out.

I've just woken up still with a splitting head, lots of water and my 4head stick

I will have more to say later I am sure but in the morning rush I am just over come by shock and anger with this RIDICULOUS, heartless dimwitted boss you have :mad: No wonder you have a headache. How dare she ruin this pg for you. I really admire your attitude to rise above it. Maybe this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise - if she reacts like this to a pg imagine if there was illness you were dealing with, yourself or someone you're close to. Sounds like there'd be zero support. You can get out sooner this way (know it won't feel quick)

alioops78

Monty that is absolutely diabolical the way that you're manager has just reacted especially after being supportive, in front of you, to someone else. I echo the thoughts of everyone else to keep a diary of things that you do above and beyond duty and also of any complaints and how you handled them. I've had telephone courtesy training and been told that if someone doesn't calm down while you're talking to them that you're in the right to hang up on them especially as you wouldn't be expected to handle that sort of abuse in person.

I told my Manager the day I came back from leave as we've got heaps of staffing issues and she was really happy for me. Practically everyone in my team knows now but with how bloated I am today I wouldn't have been able to hide it any long :rotfl:.

Have been having mega stress at work just feeling overwhelmed with everything and even had a cry in the loo's yesterday as I was soooo tired and I'd dragged myself in hoping to just do 6 hours but ended up having to stay the full day cos the temp went home sick.

Before finding out I was pg I was doing what I could to find another job but now I'm just going to have to stick it out until at least 3 months after I come back from maternity leave cos otherwise you have to pay the maternity leave back. My Mum saw a psychic the other week who apparantly picked up on the issues I'm having with work and said that this job isn't for me but never told her what job I should be in lol.

Lilmis so glad your scan went well and I think we'll forgive you for cheating on us as we'll be joining you soon.

Hugs everyone as I'm sure we all need them at the moment.

9 weeks

monty-doggy

Thank you all for your support. I received a letter today stating the hr manager is going to be conducting an 8 week probationary review on Friday, and to discuss my conduct performance and behaviour and to make a decision regarding my continued employment with the company.

Part of me just wants to leave and get a part time job. I'm going to have to do that when baby comes anyway.

I'm so fed up.

FallenArcher

Oh no Monty-Doggy, how rubbish. Although surely they'll need evidence to say you're not performing - hopefully the HR manager won't play your boss's silly games.

FallenArcher

Had my 12 week scan today, due date has now changed to 4th October. As I'm 13+3 guess it's about time I moved up a list - hope to see you all there soon


Scan was pretty amazing really, although I was really overwhelmed and really needing a pee!!! The first thing she found was a fibroid which means I'll have to see a consultant at my 20-week scan, they don't think it should affect the baby or me though thankfully - might affect being able to have a homebirth, will know more after 20-weeks.

Baby is doing well, although was a complete wriggle monster and wouldn't get into the right position for the sonographer - me thinks that s/he is going to be a handful - not listening to authority runs in the family!!! Skull and spine looked good, as did heartbeat, brain, two arms, two legs, hands, feet, we could even see facial features - amazing! I just spent the whole time holding my wife's hand, magic moment. She had a much better view than me - not fair As we'd already told family, close friends, and work colleagues we've Facebook-announced it today - response overwhelming! Sent scan pictures to grandparents, aunties and closest friends first though!!! Have really struggled to concentrate this afternoon - this baby-stuff is getting more real huh!?

monty-doggy

Aww glad your scan went well, I can't wait for mine!

ttc39

Was my EDD today for baby I "lost" last year. Had a lovely day at whittle bury hall day spa with a friend, was very relaxing and managed to keep my mind free of negative thoughts.

Trying to stay positive,

Good to hear of people with their good scans xx

MrsC....tobe

monty-doggy wrote: »

I've had the worst day. I told my manager I needed to speak to her but she said she was too busy. I finally got her sat down at 11am and the phone rang. A girl at work was ringing to announce she's pregnant. She's only 12 hours a week sales assistant and my manager was very supportive. I then told her my news and she just looked at me blank and said I thought you said you couldn't have any children? I got upset explaining my situation and I said I still wanted to work hard and do well in my job, she said well you can have a baby and a full time job, I came back full time after six weeks so if I can do that three times, you can too.
Firstly she lives round the corner, I'm 35 miles away and I currently spend 2-3 hours a day commuting. I never get out on time it's always an hour late and I have to go in half hour early to prepare the day. How can I even contemplate that?
She also made it clear she doesn't believe me that I didn't know when I accepted the job. I accepted 9 weeks ago and started 7 weeks ago, I'm 10 weeks. I DIDNT know!

To make it worse in the afternoon she pulled me into the office and started to discuss my performance and saying it's not good enough and she's had feedback from the team over the last week that I'm negative and they don't like how I work and I'm not fitting in with the team.

This is the first I've heard of any of this and some of the examples she gave me were rediculous, for example the other day I dealt with a customer complaint on the phone. The customer was swearing and shouting and twice I asked her to stop otherwise I'd be unable to help her. She called me a effing stupid idiot and threatened to come down and sort me out and so I hung the phone up, as if that were face to face in store we would ask them to leave. She said the team have fed back that makes me unprofessional.

She had loads of other digs and has basically said I've got to improve.
Well I will do everything she's asked and more because while I'm there I want to enjoy my job and prove my worth but I'll be damned if I'm going back to those crazy hours after baby is born. At least I don't have to discuss that yet.

I've had a tension headache all day

Monty, I'm disgusted at the way that you have been treated by your boss. If she doesn't believe you that you didn't know wheen you started maybe you should point out that you are now 10 weeks and started 7 weeks ago when you were three weeks pregnant. Since that 3 weeks starts from the date of lmp the chance are two weeks of it you weren't actually pregnant and technically it had only been there for one week when you started. Totally impossible for you to know!!!!

As for the issues that just conveniently came up that afternoon that others have apparently brought to her attention....I'd be letting HR know that these have only been brought to your attention after you told her about your pregnancy as to me she is starting to pursue a course of action that could amount to active discrimination. Ask HR for that meeting before you need to go to the one they have told you about and take things from there. And ask for all the evidence for anything negative also.

Good luck.