MSE Pregnancy Club 27

con1888

I think I'll def want visitors just that if they all then up at same time the hosp may not let them all in. Although they are known to be pretty lenient

lushlifesaver

Afternoon all,


got the midwife today at 3.45 so leaving work in a little over an hour - not ideal as I have loads to do but without anyone giving me a lift its a good 40minutes on the bus from work and I was late last time!
Having my whooping cough vaccine this week so glad its on a Friday as I can relax and do things at a slower pace if it does make my arm hurt over the weekend. I am going to get a couple of bits of shopping whilst out though so I'm not walking back in to town/etc over the weekend. I figure if I get them today and my arm hurts after I get home its better than having to go out for them over the weekend and struggling with an already sore arm!


With regards to visitors I think I'll be fine; both my parents and mil have booked the week of the due date and/or the week after off but I'll appreciate that a bit probably - seeing it as more of an opportunity to cry for help right from the start!


I don't have any grandparents left and we will take bubs round to see bf's but I 100% adore them so am quite excited for that. Siblings are welcome for a cuppa but should know not to expected extended visits already


Guess I'm quite lucky though as in May after we've taken her to a tournament to show her off to the rugby fam bf's parents are going to Egypt on holiday, bf is off to the US for a camp and my parents will be kind of about so I will get some time with my mum/dad and baby without too many others (they live further away) but also some time to start getting used to times when its just baby and me reasonably early on...guess we have a reasonably unique situation though!

Birdie85

I'm not sure what to do about visitors. I'd rather it just be OH and me in the hospital, getting used to being a little family of 3 without anyone else but the hospital is around the corner from brother and SIL's house so they'll be down like a shot, in-laws will whizz through as soon as they catch wind of the baby being on the way and my Mum has TOLD me she expects to be told when I feel first twinges, when I start having regular contractions, when we go to hospital etc as she's going to come to the hospital with us. I'd really rather she didn't come (as OH thinks that if my Mum is there, his Mum should be and she doesn't drive so his Dad will be there too) but how do I say so?! Once we're home I don't mind people coming round as long as they don't overstay their welcome and make themselves useful!

LannieDuck

Birdie85 wrote: »

I'm not sure what to do about visitors. I'd rather it just be OH and me in the hospital, getting used to being a little family of 3 without anyone else but the hospital is around the corner from brother and SIL's house so they'll be down like a shot, in-laws will whizz through as soon as they catch wind of the baby being on the way and my Mum has TOLD me she expects to be told when I feel first twinges, when I start having regular contractions, when we go to hospital etc as she's going to come to the hospital with us. I'd really rather she didn't come (as OH thinks that if my Mum is there, his Mum should be and she doesn't drive so his Dad will be there too) but how do I say so?! Once we're home I don't mind people coming round as long as they don't overstay their welcome and make themselves useful!

This is one of those times that you just need to say no. You and OH are becoming a little family. You're entitled to do that by yourselves if you choose.

(I think the common saying is that if she wasn't there when baby was being made, she doesn't have a right to be there when baby's being born :P)

sjlou

Birdie85 wrote: »

I'm not sure what to do about visitors. I'd rather it just be OH and me in the hospital, getting used to being a little family of 3 without anyone else but the hospital is around the corner from brother and SIL's house so they'll be down like a shot, in-laws will whizz through as soon as they catch wind of the baby being on the way and my Mum has TOLD me she expects to be told when I feel first twinges, when I start having regular contractions, when we go to hospital etc as she's going to come to the hospital with us. I'd really rather she didn't come (as OH thinks that if my Mum is there, his Mum should be and she doesn't drive so his Dad will be there too) but how do I say so?! Once we're home I don't mind people coming round as long as they don't overstay their welcome and make themselves useful!

Its hard isn't it. Especially when its so nice that everyone is excited, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
I think you just need to make a decision on what you want and be up front about it.
Maybe a few white lies around hospital rules might work??

I've made it clear to OH that I dont want his folks just turning up at the hospital. But dont know what he's actually said to them. I think given the chance they'd be in the waiting room from the moment we get to hospital! :eek: I do not need that kind of pressure!
My mum is really good, they don't even just turn up at our house unannounced!

I'd love to not tell anyone I'm in labour and just send them a pic when baby arrives!!:D Although, I know this is highly unlikely to happen, especially if/once I go past my due date.

sjlou

LannieDuck wrote: »

I think the common saying is that if she wasn't there when baby was being made, she doesn't have a right to be there when baby's being born :P

Ha! Love that!

samtoby

I am hoping I won't be in hospital long enough to have visitors. I have been told by my midwife that if there are no complicatins (which I hope not) they operate a 4 hour discharge at the local maternity unit unless there is a reason why not! I think when you get home you can say to people - please contact me before popping around - it is so overwelming I remember that part well.

SmlSave

my Mum has TOLD me she expects to be told when I feel first twinges, when I start having regular contractions, when we go to hospital etc as she's going to come to the hospital with us. I'd really rather she didn't come (as OH thinks that if my Mum is there, his Mum should be and she doesn't drive so his Dad will be there too) but how do I say so?!

I think you need to say no Birdie85. If you don't say no to this then you'll never be able to say no to anything regarding your family life again or end up blowing up.

It starts of little such as 'but you always come to ours at Xmas' to 'you have to come to ours' to 'I can't believe you would upset me like this' etc etc.

Think worse case scenario (which I'm sure it won't come to) that you always end up giving in until you resent her.

Better to be honest and give everyone expectations as to what you want as its much easier to grant access than to take it away!

This is just my opinion though - feel free to ignore it!

fran-o

We're not planning to tell anyone when labour starts, just make the announcement once bubba is here... That should avoid surprise hospital visitors in the waiting room and gives us a bit more control. And I'm thinking an announcement that contains the phrase 'we'll let you know when we're ready for visitors' is a tactful way to say - please don't just show up!

BadlyWrittenPoem

missbunbury wrote: »

Hello ladies! I was on MSE Pregnancy Club 25, had Alice in November 2012 and just found out I am 16 weeks with my totally unplanned second baby! So I am back, hope everyone is good, I assume you are all strangers as I must be the only one mad enough to have two so close together! Will have a read back to see what we are chatting about...

Welcome, I'm having an unexpected 19 month gap too but I wasn't on this thread last time so I'm still a stranger.