Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

thorsoak

Mooloo - sometimes we have to decide that we have too much rubbish in our lives and have to get rid of some of it ....I'd suggest that you send his texts direct to "delete". You do not need them xxxx

Hard_Up_Hester

So he knows how to play you like a fiddle.
Why are you answering his texts? If you really mean it to be over then stop playing the game with him.
You are either
A) Giving him false hope.
or
Getting drawn back in.
As Errata say's he still doesn't consider you worth a telephone call, we deal with this sort of behaviour at work all day. This is how silly teenagers behave, this is not how adults behave!

Savvy_sewing

Alas he is a one trick pony. Texting is all he seems to be able to revert too.
I don't answer all of them, or immediately, and I will call it to halt soon enough, but I also know that I need to explain my thinking, so I will put up with it for a short while, as actually every time I do give my reasons I am getting more and more determined, and I have told him I am not going back. It should be easy enough to say no, and delete, but I have to confess I have known this man since we were 13 years old, so 40 years really, and I feel it's not exactly a lot to deal with while he adjusts to the strong me etc who is me now. (Again). I have still compassion, no matter how nuts that makes me. But I do understand where you are all coming from, and why you all care about me, after watching my world for the last 7 years.
But I know I am doing the right thing at the moment.
Now, I must get going, I've DGD to wake, lunches to do, and bags to pack. As well as several sewing jobs before the school day is out, and then a long drive to Cornwall .!

Lozzy88

Mooloo wrote: »

I need to explain my thinking!

Hi Mooloo, I really think you have explained yourself perfectly several times already. You are not happy, there is no future together as you both need different things. You want change and a bright future, he wants to plod on as he always has done.... As he always will do.

Errata

He's had 40 years to learn how to behave with courtesy and he hasn't managed it. Txt's aren't remotely like real life, unless they're enquiring if you want haddock or cod from the chippy.
I don't think you're being compassionate, I think you're indulging his behaviour - he's not five years old, he needs to man up. If you want to be compassionate have a phone conversation with him, don't allow him to give a great deal of thinking to what he wants to say to you via a txt, that's just gaming and not appropriate for two people who are old enough to be grandparents.
Don't send him mixed messages by telling him it's over when he clearly believes from your constant responses by txt to his txt's that it isn't. Cut him loose so HE can find someone else, don't keep him dangling.

duchy

Some of you are coming across as "telling" rather than advising.
(I do realise that it is out of good intentions and also knowing Mooloo has said "It's over" before and had him back).

Big changes often come in small steps - and in seven years Mooloo has come a huge distance and it is hard to make a clean break with someone you've known all your life and the dynamic from all to zero sometimes takes time. She's doing OK. So no matter how well intended (and for the record I know I've wanted to kick her bum sometimes at some of his behaviour she has enabled too ) lets support Mooloo with positive support not lectures .

Errata

Some of you are coming across as "telling" rather than advising.

In your opinion.

*Robin*

Drive safely Mooloo, hope your visit to Twin2 is both enjoyable and reassuring.

Savvy_sewing

I am hoping to ease my mind about her where abouts etc. I have read/listened too, and am doing things the best way I can. Thanks Duchy. I am moving forward. I have put a stop pestering me message back in his court. Told him I am focusing on Twin2, and don't need his distractions. ( trying to manipulate me by offering his new car, to use, and asking me to not give up on him. Told him I can't use the car, and won't promise what I can't deliver. Texts should stop now as he is at work.
Time will tell.
Now it's cuppa time, and organise the packing and sewing.
Hope to have a good time tomorrow, and relax a bit.

duchy

Errata wrote: »

In your opinion.

Of course it's an opinion - This is a forum it's all about opinion !
(Maybe the fact other people liked the post means it isn't just my opinion though !)