Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

SuziQ

But I am not going to give in to that anymore

I hope you mean this this time, Mooloo. We have all seen you hurt too many times by this 'man',only to drift back when he throws a kind word a few weeks later. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than he has ever given you, truly!

Savvy_sewing

Yes I realise. But I am stronger and have much more confidence then in the past. Don't deny I am hurting, but I am also ready to move on now and focus on other things instead of him and the bread crumbs of hope he would scatter me when we got to this sort of stage before.
There is only so much hurt you can take from one person.

Errata

Bread crumbs of hope or manipulation to keep you onside? Only you know. Stay strong, men who see women as pushovers generally keep giving them a shove.

candlelight_2013

I have only read your thread for about 18 months, but it struck me it was a destructive relationship.

It seemed most things were on his terms only and can you remember when he asked you not to write about him on your thread, I wonder why!!. Perhaps he was worried we would all see him for what he was. You deserve so much more Mooloo, I know you are hurting now, but you are much stronger than you were.

Candlelight x

Savvy_sewing

Spent the day trying to distract myself.
I have taken down the decorations and with a bit of a struggle I got the tree into the loft. I have done my business accounts and got them ready for the DWP. All ready to post on Monday. But I haven't done the Tax Returns. I can't face anymore paperwork today.
I have scoffed a box of chocolate and drunk copious amounts of tea.
Now DS is home, so I have got through the being on my own thanks to my online presence, and focussing.
Quite tired so relaxing with a film now.
Then dinner etc will occupy a good chunk of the evening.

Savvy_sewing

DS a d his girl friend kept me company in the evening, while we waited for the Ex to return DGDs bike etc. he came under cover of darkness and left our stuff at the side of the house , and then when he was out of sight text me to say it was there. I cello taped his key etc in an envelope on the door. As he didn't want to see me.
Not that I wanted to particularly see him either really. Easier not to, to be able to keep the resolve so to speak. Alas he still invaded my dreams.
Must do some deep thinking and give my subconscious a few re-wiring lessons.
So we are through that hurdle.
Today is a lazy start as its Sunday. Then it's the ironing I couldn't face and sorting away stuff that is lurking on all the surfaces etc
Till its time to go and get DGD from her Mums.
Been thinking about a few making ideas and will be seeking out the right fabrics ready to get at the sewing machines again. Itchy fingers to be making.

Savvy_sewing

DGD safely home. Playing on the Xbox with her uncle.
I am cooking us a Sunday dinner. Roast lamb. Yummy I hope.
My throat is sore, swallowing is beginning to feel like a few razor blades are in the mix and started coughing so my ribs are aching! Argh. Could do without that now when it's nearly back to work time!
It's getting cold out there again. God help those with the severe weather and the floods. Being rather land locked here we are luckier then most. But DS did show me a tree that was in the road when he was on his bike that he had to swerve round. He stopped went back and removed it from the road before coming on home again.

Savvy_sewing

ExBf tried being nice this morning, offered to take DGD to the pantomime next weekend. Gave him a way in to start texting. Alas he eventually resorted to trying to score points over who said what etc. so I closed the conversation down. I am not going into any Mud Slinging. What's the point? None.
Saddened that he feels the need to try and draw me into a futile text conversation? What has he got to gain? Nothing but a waste of time and energy as he just helped to strengthen my resolve that I am not planning on accepting him back.
If he can't see that? Heaven help him he's going to find it a very tough and lonely game playing on his own.
I am tired, have yet another sore throat and tickily cough and cannot be bothered. Early night probably on the cards for me.

Errata

Don't read them, delete them. He's manipulating and you're allowing him to.

Savvy_sewing

All he's making me feel today is Hate! Which is not a concept I have very often at all.