Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

gizmo111

What was the agreement for LB contact?

candlelight_2013

Mooloo, I am so sorry you must both be going through the most terrible time. I hope something is sorted soon to give you both some peace of mind. I had no idea of the circumstances.

Much love
Candlelight x

ab7

Mooloo I've not been logged in here for ages I've delurked to send you some special hugs from all the lurkers who sometimes just pop into mse to see how you are!
I know this time of year is not good for you - in the Chinese medicine this is time for the old hurts to surface so that the "new soil" for the coming year is rich and new. I know this probably doesn't stop the hurt and its a double whammy with ex bf I just want you to remember during the hurt that nothing stays the same, and this too will pass and become easier.

Savvy_sewing

ThanksAB7. I rang social services again today. Actually got to speak to the boys Social Worker. she has said that the boys are well but without looking at the court order she cannot give me any further information then that. she has agreed that she will contact me next week to update me one way or another. Lets hope she does.
Re BF the talking has been quite serious. We are not sorted yet but there may be a change in circumstances if we do actually find a solution. But it will not be as easy as either would want due to so many factors from the pasted and the present. However we have talked more this last week then I think we have in the last 9 years!
My options are to at least listen and see what we can come up with. My Mum said that I don't need to rush into anything and that he can prove how serious he actually is to wanting to change. Which is what he is saying. He had asked me to live with him. But that's easier said then done and definitely not to be rushed into with the problems of the past misunderstandings, and upsets. So I suppose we can negotiate a peace treaty like anyone else can.
But I am still pretty heavy hearted and confused about things and wary after the last outburst.
DGD has had to be treated for worms again. Which means so have we!
DS. Is currently at Biggest Of Mooloos trying to sort out his CV and work applications. His girlfriend has just arrived so I better go.

Savvy_sewing

gizmo111 wrote: »

What was the agreement for LB contact?

Supposed to have letterbox at least once a year.

MooloosBiggest

On his way to you now - His CV done - "ish" Had good talk and think things are sinking in..xx s l o w l y ....

Savvy_sewing

Hi sorry there was an error in my reply. Good to see you on here. I hope we can all find happiness and get on. He has girlfriend problems at the moment. At least that's what she tells me.

Savvy_sewing

Morning, still rather jaded with lack of sleep. Too much on my mind.
DGD says she's not itchy anymore so let's hope the tablet worked and we will repeat in 2 weeks time.
DS is still in bed this morning but as I am expecting Molly to pop in he can stay out of the way!
I have to catch up on some sewing jobs later in the day. I am hoping the sun will appear to give me better light as the bulb on my machine needs replacing.
Need to stop procrastinating and give myself a kick up the backside.

Voiren

Hi Mooloo, I'm another lurker here.

Re BF - I've been thinking this for a while, but seeing as you are talking to him again, I figured I'd say so now. His trust issues/controllingness come from having his wife cheat on him for years, I seem to recall? The fact that he reacts this way isn't really *your* problem at all, it is his. You shouldn't have to change the way you behave, he should be trying to change the way he perceives things and reacts to them. Is he doing anything towards this? Because if he isn't, you're going to keep ending up in the same place through no fault of your own.

Has he/would he look into CBT at all? If he's getting uncontrollable anger/fear/mistrust/jealousy when you do something we'd normally consider innocuous, he could learn to train his brain to gradually not react that way, or at least to enable him to get over the initial wave of it and reconsider events more rationally. Because the work of CBT all has to be done by the patient, he might be able to do it himself - there are books - though if he'd be up for speaking to a therapist, that would be an enormous step.

If you are considering living with him, I don't think these problems would go away on their own because they seem fairly ingrained.

(I might be a bit cheerleadery for CBT, but it is amazing to see someone becoming able to deal with a situation that would have had them panicking previously!)

Toomuchdebt

I wasn't sure whether to post this but I'm going to ..............

I think the constant on again off again is not going to do your granddaughter any good at all.If you were on your own then fine be with him and break up with him a million times and then get back together with him but not when there are children involved!He treats you like dirt and yet you're now talking to him again and considering going back?He's either got the gift of the gab or you are just desperate to be in a relationship with someone.I don't see any mention of true feelings in all of this tbh, either on your side or on his.I think you'd be an idiot to go back to him for the umpteenth time, sorry.It's hardly a stable relationship and that's what kids need whether it's a stable couple or a stable single parent.Just my opinion and no offence intended.