Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

Errata

If someone would show me how to turn the "love" feelings off it would help me.

It's like a bereavement, hurts cruelly at the beginning and then gradually lessens to the point where you won't care less about him.
Put the needs of your DGD first. She only has one childhood and you've taken responsibility for making it a happy one. She doesn't need spiteful people in it, she doesn't need to be hawked around the country because others put their needs before hers. She needs love, safety and stability.

Savvy_sewing

I am trying.

candlelight_2013

I know you are trying Mooloo, but be strong. Yours DGD needs exactly what Errata says, and he has treated you so badly over the years and yet you would still have him back in a whisper.

Candlelight x

Errata

Mooloo wrote: »

I am trying.

Good - keep it up, it will get easier if you stop letting him reel you in. Don't contact him, don't emai him, don't txt him, don't answer his calls. You have no reason to and that's all you have to do.
Live your life, not the one he designs for you.

Savvy_sewing

DGD is back. She had a good time. I got the shopping done, and a chicken cooked etc
Washing on the various cycles.
Felt a little awkward when Ex brought her back but he was normal etc I front of DGD so I didn't have to face any awkward conversations etc.
now it's back to normal again. ( at home I mean not with him!)

Savvy_sewing

Busy day at work. Much better in the new front office with sunlight coming in and much better overhead light and space.
My work is finally taking precedence with the photographer and hopefully they will soon actually make it to the website.
DgD was a bit of a nightmare this morning. One of those days, but so far she's been ok tonight . Still eating her pudding now.
One of Elaine's turkey left over dishes, very tasty.
DS is holed up in his room. Still need him to move his speakers so that I have room at the sewing machine.
Tomorrow I start making the panels for the first sofa cover.
Tonight I may have to have an early night as my neck really hurts, the tension is back in my neck and left arm, and it's giving me a headache.
Such is life.

Savvy_sewing

Well I am awake, but still in bed. Went downstairs to turn the heating up and came back up to have my cup of tea in bed!
The house is quiet, as I like it first thing. No thumps and bumps from DS, no 'granny can I have the kindle'- my peace time.
But brr it's cold.
The gritter lorry went by around 5am. Being on a bus route we get gritted.
I am hoping to finally settle down into a better working pattern etc but it will be delayed. Watching the TV programme about I want my Baby Back reminded me that it is now 2 years since we had any contact with the boys - officially. We have had no letterbox contact at all. So I have to get on and chase it. Twin2 has tried asking several times but nobody is getting back to her. I think I need to take up the gauntlet for her. Not sure who to ask first but will spend some time finding out who is in charge now. Etc etc

Savvy_sewing

So I get all emotional just ringing up the switchboard to try and find out who is now the person that I write to, to ask about the Grandsons. As the case worker is nolonger the same caseworker. The person in charge is no longer the person in charge etc, and what team the boys are/were even assigned too.
I want to know why we have still no set dates for letterbox, if the boys adoption has even been made legal, and what is infact happening.
The switchboard person, who answered, could not even tell me the names of the head of the Children's Section was!
I now have left a message, as it was voice mail. I know the name of the person (eventually), the team they are under and the name of the latest Case worker.
I await a reply for my request to find out what is going on.
I should never really have waited this long, but I am finding it hard to deal with. Always have, and tried to just get on with life. But there is no denying as DGS2's birthday approaches it is hard to imagine our little baby is now a 4 year old boy. I want to know if he is OK, what he likes and dislikes etc. I know that Mum saw them by a fluke at Silverstone last year. But I didn't.
I have a picture on my wall that I look at everyday, of my boys, and DGD talks about them regularly too.
I suppose today is highlighted as I watched that programme yesterday, it reminded me, that I had to face the uncomfortable things in life and to get on and work through them. But its not easy.
I have focused so much on our Day to day living, and tried to wait patiently for the system to inform us. But now I realise that they have forgotten us.
I have been for a cup of tea, or three with one of the Mum's who used to help me with my cleaning last year, when I was not able to do it. (I could do with her help still really, but I cannot afford it.)
WE had a good natter, and catch up, but my thoughts are about family, and the effects, and about the effects of my relationship with Ex etc and the fact that I do still love him, etc but that I cannot carry on the way I was going.
So I am having an emotional day today.
I am using the laptop today, as the mobile phone will not work at home on the internet. So I suppose my next call is to Sky to see if they can tell me if its the home wifi router, or if they are going to fob me off with saying its the mobile phone. (Except it accepts the wifi everywhere else so that's why I think its my router?).
I had an early lunch, so that I can get on and get the sewing started after I have done the little jobs.
DS has gone out while I was out, so no idea what he is upto, but at least he has remembered to move his speakers etc out of the sitting room. Although his laundry is still hanging around. But at least I can move that!.
The sun is out, although its cold, which is good, as if today had been a dark day, I would not have coped at all.
I am planning to go to Ikea tomorrow to buy some folding chairs. For the kitchen, so that I can get rid of the normal dinning chairs, and give myself space when we walk in the back door. I am sick of walking around, moving around, and generally getting the other chairs in the way all the time. But as we don't have room in the front room for a table and chairs with my sewing desks down here, something has got to be done.!.
Enough is enough kind of moment.

trix-a-belle

*hugs*

A suggestion on the mobile phone WiFi issue if you have done already, delete the settings for your home network completely from your phone & then set it up from scratch as I'm sure that will be one of the first things they suggest (if they are helpful). At least if you've done that & know it connects to other WiFi networks then you can tell them that & therefore it looks to be the router.
Is your laptop connected by WiFi or cabled direct? If its cable but has WiFi capability you could try connecting it via WiFi to further prove or disprove the problem to be with the router

candlelight_2013

Oh Mooloo, I am so sorry it is such a bad day for you.

I don't know the circumstances surrounding the boys, but I do hope they return your call with some answers for you. I can't imagine how awful it must be not to see your own grandchildren.

I have a couple of those fold up chairs from Ikea (bright pink!!) and they are very useful.

Take care
Much love
Candlelight x