Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

minimoneysaver

That's so unfair on her. Are the boys in your area still? I'm sure I have a memory of a family member seeing them.

Take care and have yourself a relaxing weekend. My DD is enjoying playing on the wii, while I'm busy browsing around the internet. I'm still in pjs and it's now 12:45...ooops!

Errata

It's very sad she's so upset. I'm sorry, I don't know if both the boys have been adoped by the same family or two different ones, or if they are still being fostered.
Is the Letterbox Contact a legal requirment or a voluntary agreement? Does mum keep to her side of it by writing several times a year to each boy and at Xmas and birthdays, or is it the other side that are maintaining silence.
Apologies for my total ignorance about this, or if you've explained how it works and I've forgotten.

Savvy_sewing

We are supposed to get information on how the boys are doing. By law. It was part of the court proceedings.
Alas as far as we are aware we are not allowed to communicate with them. But we do write bits and pieces and are trying to give them a box of stuff when/if they seek Us out when legally allowed to do so.
Mum did see them by flook in the summer when they visited Silverstone with the adoptive family. She was working the car park. But she hasn't had anything through official channels at all. And of course I have had no sightings or information.
The system is so wrong. I will never accept that it is right to take a child away from its mother 100%.unless they are abusing them. She was not abusing them. She just needs help. The love was there. The problems were difficult but adopting them is Wrong. Cutting them off from family is wrong. Plain wrong.

patanne

Delurking just to say! Have you thought of a twin draught excluder. I don't think you will train DS to keep one in place inside the door and it might be too easy to trip on one outside the door. You could make a twin one that slides under the door yourself & have it fit in with your decor and have it removable & washable. I'm no good at describing but try searching twin draught excluder on Am@zon & it should give you an idea.

Errata

We are supposed to get information on how the boys are doing. By law. It was part of the court proceedings

If I've understood correctly then,mum is using the Letterbox system regularly and consistently in line with the court order but the adoptive parents are refusing to do so?
Does that make it a matter for the Court, rather than SS? What penalties could the Court impose if the adoptive parents continue to refuse to comply? Would mum be willing and able to take the parents to Court.
Sorry, don't mean to be intrusive and please don't feel you have to respond.

Padstow

Mooloo wrote: »

We are supposed to get information on how the boys are doing. By law. It was part of the court proceedings.
Alas as far as we are aware we are not allowed to communicate with them. But we do write bits and pieces and are trying to give them a box of stuff when/if they seek Us out when legally allowed to do so.
Mum did see them by flook in the summer when they visited Silverstone with the adoptive family. She was working the car park. But she hasn't had anything through official channels at all. And of course I have had no sightings or information.
The system is so wrong. I will never accept that it is right to take a child away from its mother 100%.unless they are abusing them. She was not abusing them. She just needs help. The love was there. The problems were difficult but adopting them is Wrong. Cutting them off from family is wrong. Plain wrong.

Are you saying Mooloo, that the twins were forcibly removed? If so that is tragic for all of you.
I read your post this morning but felt too shocked and upset really to reply then.

Our care system hardly belongs in a so called wealthy Country.
SS flatly refused any help in nursing my father at my home, where a special bedroom was waiting for him. Instead it was 3 weeks in a nursing home until he died alone at midnight.
A man who'd survived the Normandy Landings and Dunkirk. If it weren't for men like him, SS would have had a different meaning.
They could have provided help, paid for when he died and his property sold, same method as a Nursing Home, but no, flat refusal.

Then the thread where no financial help is given to someone who provides a good home for their 13 year old cousin?

The whole system seems very cruel.

At least now the Family courts will be open to reporting, a small step in the right direction.

Savvy_sewing

The twins are my girls. The boys are my grandsons, one is 6 the other is 4. They are twin2's sons. They were taken into care when 2 and 4 months. As Social had forced the partner out of the home, and twin2 was not coping as well with them. They didn't give her a chance. They put them in foster care as I couldn't have them at that time. Already having DGD1 from twin1 several months before.
At least in foster care Mum got to see them twice a week for an hour. But then when adoption was decided by the courts it was reduced to once a month. Then stopped.

grey_lady

maybe I've misunderstood the situation as well, but i thought that twin2 didn't oppose the adoption at the time? but i guess its going to be the same old chasing up phone calls to find it why there's been no news - it could be something daft like a typo in an address as to why nothing has come through.

Savvy_sewing

She fought tooth and nail through the courts! It was twin one and DGD who didn't fight or go to court.
I rang on Tuesday but nobody returned my call. So it's really annoying. Something that they promise to do but don't follow through with. Like all the photos taken during contact. We were supposed to have them but we didn't get them either.

grey_lady

Im so sorry mooloo - my misunderstanding / mistake, I hope twin 2 receives the letterbox contact soon.