Learning to think like a frugal person

StressedSteph

Afternoon all,

So glad you got through today unscathed and no spend :beer:.

I loved your post on "Oh well". Its a good way to get through lifes unavoidable dissapointments, because very often there was'nt a way to avoid it and there is no point letting it make you fall off completely. Just dust yourself down and keep going. Need to remember that one.

Also loved your comments on "White knuckling" if I have understood it correctly, I actually think I work better when I am White knuckling .

In the past, I have been really brilliant at debt busting and budgeting when we are in a complete mess and on the verge of financial disaster. Then weirdly, a few months later, when we are still obviously up to our eye balls in debt, but its under control, all bills are paid and there is a small surplus every month. THIS is when I let my eye off the ball. White knuckling is not really needed anymore, but a more sustained determination is what is in order. THIS is when it all falls apart for me. I get comfortable and stop worrying. Of course it does'nt take long to get in a total mess again, and there I am White Knuckling again. I think I sometimes sadistically subconsciously enjoy the disaster.

I am getting too old to live like that anymore, so will be doing everything in my power to avoid this cycle happenning again.

Hope your partner enjoys the gift you will get him tomorrow. Sometimes giving is almost as good as receiving.

Hope you week goes ok. Are you over the horribleness yet?

xxxx

ForMyGirls

Aaaagh - the internet ate my post! And now it is past my bedtime. So very short version: all is good in the world and I look forwarding to saying more tomorrow :-)

mizmir

Steph - that is a really interesting about the white knuckling cycle and is making me think carefully about myself. I tend to operate best under pressure too - maybe this has contributed to my yo-yoing as well?

FMG - glad all is well - talk tomorrow.

mizmir

Day 10 : Set realistic goals
Oh boy - this one has my name all over it! My tendency is to set wildly ridiculous goals, go all out for a few months to achieve them, then fall over as it is too hard (unrealistic! ) and slide back.

This time I am aiming to be realistic. I have set our repayment amount at roughly equivalent to our current minimum payments. We haven't missed those yet so hopefully this is doable. The critical bit is that this payment remains the same even as the debts go down. This - coupled with long term low interest and short term 0% interest - means that our debts will gradually diminish. The wonderful snowball calculator tells me they will disappear in October 2017 at that rate. Given the size of the mountain that seems pretty good.

So my goal is to sustain our current level of repayment consistently. If I can do more then fabulous but I am not aiming for it. This is sufficient. And it is for less than 4 years. When I am feeling hard done to I will tell myself that 100 years ago my grandparents were living through a war - shortages and so on but with the real risk of death and loss thrown in. If they could endure that for over 4 years - surely we can tighten our belts for a little under?

In order to sustain the repayment level there is a second goal: to earn at least £1K over OH's salary each month. This includes OH extra work, my own business income, plus any other extras we do.
I have managed this so far so it is doable and realistic. I just can't take my eye off the ball.

So two realistic if challenging goals:
1. Sustain current level of repayment until debts paid off.
2. Bring in a minimum of £1K a month over and above OH's salary.

StressedSteph

Hi coaches

Bums to your post disappearing FMG, look forward to reading it when you can face re-typing it all again. hope this week isn't turning out to be as hard as you envisaged.

Miz - Thats a good idea setting yourself achievable debt repayments. I have done the snowball calculator in the past and was over generous about the amount I could find for repayments every month and then just got disheartened when I failed.
I love the idea of setting the repayments at just over minimum but keeping them at that level all the way to the end. Minimum pain for you, but gets it paid off. guess that would'nt work with some of my debts that are still hitting me with charges/interest etc, but with the 0% interest ones, that would be great.

I did wonder Miz, I saw in your signature how you have the percentage level tracking your total debt repayments. what about setting yourself mini-goals?. FMG and I do this and it has a good way of keeping you going with little boosts. Just an idea. xx

chanie

I love the 'white knuckle' theory and its something I will keep at the back of my mind. What I have found over the past month, is that it has become quite easy for me to NOT spend money at work, other than buying some milk for cereal and tea. Not that I spent loads anyway, but I would sometimes buy lunch, or a bag of crisps on the way home and the little spends would add up...... I guess my knuckles are a healthy shade of pink (or brown, in my case).

Set back
I had a bit of a set back. Due to being on maternity leave, we had managed to save up lots of money to pay for childcare. This money has now run out, so we have to find an extra £400 going forward. This means things are going to be extra tight. I'm hoping things will work themselves out over the next few months: I have just finished paying my student loan, will hopefully be getting a promotion, Mr C will try and do more hours at work and in September, DS will be starting school (so hopefully, childcare will be a bit less). I've tried the 'Oh Well' technique, but its kind of hard......

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

The horribleness got really horrible today. I haven't spent anything outside my spending plan though so I am giving myself HUGE credit for that. And that is even after going shopping this afternoon for my fella's gift (which I couldn't find). I did become very self-absorbed and borderline pathological though when I was running out of time to buy the frozen yoghurt I had been planning (since Sunday) as a food and spending treat. Good news is I just managed to get it and it was yummy and then I got to debrief about all the horribleness.

Chanie - so sorry to hear about your shortfall and struggles with paying for childcare. Good on you for trying out "Oh well" and I hope it gets easier.

Steph and Mizmir - thanks for sharing your thinking - sorry I am out of time to comment!

The upside of life is that I am really enjoying being back at work. I really love my job and am involved in a really fun project at the moment. I feel very blessed to enjoy my work so much.

mizmir

Well done for not overspending on a horrible day of horribleness - that does deserve BIG credit. Glad work is good - it makes a big difference when you love what you do as I am discovering now. Not that I didn't enjoy my old job - but I didn't LOVE it.

Credits today: I have got an extra person on my course so an extra payment. I have booked a hall finally to run a local workshop - seems a lot of demand after just posting a tentative "expressions of interest" post on FB. I immediately gave the new money a job to do in YNAB so it is all allocated and I now have almost completely funded envelopes in each category. Yesterday I paid a "spare" £17 off a card. Not a huge amount but better than nothing.

StressedSteph

Morning FMG,


Hope this Horrible week is nearly over for you. Keep going.


Haven't got much to report, but just wanted to check in and say hi to everyone.


Nearly Friday xx

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

The horribleness was a roller coaster ride today but there is a good chance tomorrow will be horribleness free.

I have not done so well today - nothing budget breaking but i have spent unplanned money on unplanned icecream, conciously knowing that i was spending and eating to avoid feeling. It is what it is and as I post I commit to being on track from right this minute.

Mizmir and Steph - thanks for the well wishes - it is remarkably reassuring to know that there are people out there in cyberspace who have got my back:-)

Mizmir - i am very impressed by your fully funded envelopes. That must provide a great sense of "in controlness". And what a great thing to be putting $ against a card. It mightnt be a huge amount but it is a huge attitude change and well with applauding yourself for.