Learning to think like a frugal person

mizmir

I feel the same - and even though I have had to shift some out of the pots to cover unexpected costs (like the emergency hotel) - at least it was in those pots in the first place so there to "borrow". I am really loving YNAB. :T:T:T

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Hmmmm - making the tight schedule I created work now that I am back at work is proving challenging. I got off track on Thursday and ended up doing work stuff till it was bedtime and then I hadn’t done my household admin - which I then did and by the time I had done that it was well past bedtime and I hadn’t done my posting and planning for the next day. And then yesterday I was just knackered in the evening.

I was thinking about it yesterday and realised that the bit where it falls over is where I don’t draw the line between work and home - that is definitely the downside of working from home - it makes it very hard to say “I’ve finished work for the day”. So I switched work email off all my devices for the weekend but I keep switching it back on! Hmmm maybe I need a response card for this :-)

Finances wise I am doing OK. It was payday on Thursday so I did the updating “financial status” calculations. Interest had been charged on debts since the last pay so it was a case of two steps forwards, one step back. Last pay day I said I was tantalisingly close to my first mini-goal with only $55 to go. This pay day I am REALLY tantalisingly close with only $7.01 to go!. It is good to see though that even in a fortnight where interest is charged the debt is still moving down! That is a fine fine thing.

I did an impulse spend of buying sushi for lunch today. It is within budget so OK but I didn’t savour it as much as I would have if it were a planned purchase.

Credits: hmmm - struggling with this tonight. Posting tonight deserves a thumbs up - it would be easy to let it slide but I noticed today that my motivation to follow my plan was depleted a bit and I realised that what I needed was to post here. It was tempting to not post and let myself slide a bit more - but I chose to honour my long-term goal and here I am. Also - I have been doing really well lately at using what we have - side dishes for dinner and lunch choices are often made on the basis of “what needs to be used up”. And yesterday I took my kids for a treat at the shops and I took water bottles so they could choose a treat to eat OR a treat to drink - but not both. Good for budget and weight control.

My checklist (in brief)
ARC, NO CHOICE, IT'S NOT OKAY and GET BACK ON TRACK cards - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - sort of 4. Credits - most of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - yes 6. spending plan - no 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - no 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes

Love all the discussion of home-made gifts - I am an OK baker so that is definitely an option for gifts - but not crafty stuff - love to receive it but I am so woeful and anything artistic! It is probably not gifts that get me into strife though as I am something of a believer in avoiding obligation gifts - it is more the “shouting a round of drinks” or “let’s grab a bite to eat out” type situations that get me into strife where I can’t actually afford to pay my way but feel like I am sponging if I don’t. I think probably the solution is honesty - I have seen people do the “I’ll just get a coffee because I’ve actually packed my lunch” line and I always think “I wish I’d thought of that”.

And Steph - don’t be put off by the hubbies comments - home-made gifts are a beautiful thing to receive! Especially when they are so personalised like the caravan.

Funny that you should be saying you want to be here in Oz today Steph - today has been a day of solid rain - the first in probably 5 or 6 months. My elder daughter was born during the last long drought (which went for nearly 9 years I think). She was 3 years old the first time it really rained and when we took her outside she was completely bewildered by it all.

Mizmir and Steph- I loved reading Mizmir’s credit and Steph’s follow up. You have such huge turnarounds from the ‘out of controlness’ - gold stars to both of you I reckon.

tiger_eyes

ForMyGirls wrote: »

It is probably not gifts that get me into strife though as I am something of a believer in avoiding obligation gifts - it is more the “shouting a round of drinks” or “let’s grab a bite to eat out” type situations that get me into strife where I can’t actually afford to pay my way but feel like I am sponging if I don’t. I think probably the solution is honesty - I have seen people do the “I’ll just get a coffee because I’ve actually packed my lunch” line and I always think “I wish I’d thought of that”

I hate feeling obligated to spend money on things that I don't want, so I have a number of tactics to avoid getting dragged into peer-pressure spending in group situations. My current money-saving tactic is that I eat dinner at home before I go to my friends' house for movie night so I don't get dragged into their overpriced takeaways. That way I don't get stung for £10! for a few slices of pizza that I would never order. I try to dodge most unwanted group spending.

StressedSteph

Hi FMG,


Great to hear from you, sorry to hear that your schedule is proving hard to keep up with. It's often easier on paper than it is in reality.


How funny that I was posting about being jealous about your lovely sunny weather and in fact it was pouring with rain :rotfl:. It bet it was like a hot shower though, not our bone chilling wind and rain. How amazing that your Dd didn't see rain until she was 3! incredible. Don't suppose she has ever seen snow??


Thank you for pushing yourself to come back on here, I am a real believer how posting your thoughts on this site REALLY helps keep you motivated. So well done for coming back. xx

You deserve lots of credits for all the hard work you are doing. There are so many credit points in your last post. You need to remember to give yourself the pat on the back your deserve. :beer:.


Come back soon.

ForMyGirls

On Day 23 of the Beck Diet Solution Beck talks about the fact that thoughts of unfairness often lead dieters astray. I think this one is directly applicable to the world of budgeting as well. Can you think of times that you have found yourself thinking “It’s not fair that I can’t have X - everyone else is getting to”. Such thoughts are usually followed by something like “I don’t care” and then overspending.

If you do experience this then Day 23 is a chance to get yourself ready to respond to these thoughts in the future in a way that won’t lead to overspending.

In a sense the thought about unfairness is right - it is unfair that you are living in constrained financial circumstances - but there are many ways in which you are fortunate. Rather than dwelling on the unfairness and leading yourself astray you want to find ways to put this unfairness in perspective and stay on track.

Next time you have an unfairness thought what you want to do is:

1. Remind yourself why you decided to live frugally in the first place. Remember that you freely chose this - while it might not feel like it right this second there were very good reasons you decided to change the way you use money. It might help to read your ARC to help you remember what those reasons were.
   
2. Make a mental list of all the ways in which you are fortunate. These might be things like being healthy, having employment you enjoy and/or employment that is secure, having family who you love and who love you, living in a culture where you have the freedom to speak your mind etc.

Right now you might want to practice this - have a go at creating a mental list of the advantages you have in your life. It will be easier to think of them when you are in the grip of the “unfairness” thoughts if you’ve had a practice beforehand. If “unfairness” is a common sabotaging thought for you you might want to create a response card to remind yourself what you need to do next time strikes. It could go something like this:
“Yes that’s true - there are things you have to forego that others can have. But everyone has unfairness in their lives and this is one of mine. I also have lots of advantages. For example …”

Day 23 Checklist

1. I read my ARC, It’s Not Okay, NO CHOICE and Get Back on Track;
2. I read other response cards as needed
3. I used my strategies for avoiding impulse spending and savouring the fruits of my expenditure (Every time, most of the time some of the time, never)
4. I gave myself credit for engaging in sensible spending behaviour (Every time, most of the time some of the time, never)
5. I used my spending wisely strategies (Every time, most of the time some of the time, never)
6. I wrote out a spending plan for tomorrow
7. I monitored everything I spent
8. I used “Oh Well” when I was faced with something I wanted to buy that I couldn’t afford
9. I created a response card to deal with unfairness

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Credits: those devilish measuring spoons at the supermarket tried to lure me in with a whole new game plan today. I had my younger DD with me and she made a beeline for them so then my brain goes "see - she likes them, you must be meant to buy them - it must be fate". But i saw right through it and we kept moving for an impulse free grocery shopping expedition. No choice is a fabulous antidote to pester power :-) Also came up with a way to reduce cost of a lunch out tomorrow - i always have a diet coke at lunch (and suffer for it in the afternoon if i miss my caffeine hit!). This always adds to the cost of lunch out because i can't just drink water. So it occurred to me today - have my coke before i go out and then just drink water. That will shave about $4 off the bill.

My checklist (in brief)
ARC, NO CHOICE, IT'S NOT OKAY and GET BACK ON TRACK cards - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - yes 4. Credits - all of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - n/a 6. spending plan - yes 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - no 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes

Tiger eyes - thanks for sharing the strategy for overcoming peer pressure to spend. Would love to hear more as this is a real danger spot for me.

Hello coaches,

Credits: those devilish measuring spoons at the supermarket tried to lure me in with a whole new game plan today. I had my younger DD with me and she made a beeline for them so then my brain goes "see - she likes them, you must be meant to buy them - it must be fate". But i saw right through it and we kept moving for an impulse free grocery shopping expedition. No choice is a fabulous antidote to pester power :-) Also came up with a way to reduce cost of a lunch out tomorrow - i always have a diet coke at lunch (and suffer for it in the afternoon if i miss my caffeine hit!). This always adds to the cost of lunch out because i can't just drink water. So it occurred to me today - have my coke before i go out and then just drink water. That will shave about $4 off the bill.

My checklist (in brief)
ARC, NO CHOICE, IT'S NOT OKAY and GET BACK ON TRACK cards - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - yes 4. Credits - all of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - n/a 6. spending plan - yes 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - no 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes

Tiger eyes - thanks for sharing the strategy for overcoming peer pressure to spend. Would love to hear more as this is a real danger spot for me.

Steph - another day of rain here today. Soooo lovely. Oz does get snow but not a lot and i am not a skier. The kids have been up for a play in the snow but nothing more than that - though they have been watching the winter olympics and the younger DD reckons aerial ski-ing looks like fun! And yeah i agree - posting here makes a very big difference to motivation.

steph - another day of rain here today. Soooo lovely. Oz does get snow but not a lot and i am not a skier. The kids have been up for a play in the snow but nothing more than that - though they have been watching the winter olympics and the younger DD reckons aerial ski-ing looks like fun! And yeah i agree - posting here makes a very big difference to motivation.

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Credits: stuck to my "bring my own drink" plan today and managed to have lunch out for $10. Credit to me. The hat went round today for a farewell gift for a colleague - i put in an amount i could afford, that was in my "gifts" category. In the past i would have been tempted to put in more to not look stingy. This was a big step.

My checklist (in brief)
ARC, NO CHOICE, IT'S NOT OKAY and GET BACK ON TRACK cards - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - yes 4. Credits - all of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - n/a 6. spending plan - yes 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - no 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes 10. Used "Oh well" no11. Dealt with unfairness thoughts n/a

StressedSteph

Morning FMG


You are doing great.


Well done on starting your Coke plan. sounds a good idea. Can't drink the stuff myself, it makes me spin out .


Well done for not feeling too much pressure when the hat came round. It used to drive me mad when I worked full time with the amount of things people wanted money for. If it wasn't birthdays, it was leaving presents, childrens sponsor money and seemingly millions of other things. Its hard not to cave into putting in loads so well done for that :T


Hope this weeks goes well for you. xxx

mizmir

Well done for not caving to pressure. It is hard sometimes but better to stay on track. You have a lot going on but you are still sticking with your plans so big credit for that.

chanie

Hi everyone,

I was writing out my easter list and worked out that to buy for my children and 6 cousins, it was going to cost £25. I'd decided to make little treat boxes with chocolates etc and then I thought I'd also buy extra presents.

This morning, I had a bit of a revelation and thought 'why am I spending that much?'

My thoughts were:

1) some of our nieces and nephews have had a hard time over the past year.
RESPONSE - they will also get presents from other people, so there is no need for me to go overboard.

2) it's only £25
RESPONSE - nobody else in the family will be spending that much.

3) the children will enjoy it.
RESPONSE - they didn't seem to acknowledge the Christmas treats I bought (in addition to their presents).

So, I've decided to cut back and spend £15, which is more manageable. I can often get carried away with things like this and when I do things for my children, I always feel a bit guilty if I exclude our nieces and nephews. But there is no point in spending for the sake of spending.

credits
Realizing I can cut back on my Easter spending.
Not spending any money on my day off and taking the children to the park today.