Learning to think like a frugal person

chanie

As Mizmar said, we are all seem to be having the same issue at the moment - unaccounted for spends. I'm not going to beat myself up if I have to spend over my budget, sometimes it can be helped.

Steph - well done for finding the money for the trees.
FMG - I do sometimes think its worth being generous with others - I'm sure the coffee round will be returned.

I've been thinking about my play money situation. I only give myself £10 a week, so its doesn't go very far. The only thing I need to buy is milk for work, everything else is adhoc spending, as and when. I really wanted to be able to use the money to buy birthday and Xmas presents, treats etc, but this week, it feels it wasn't enough money. I am reluctant to increase this money because it will just end up getting used and I will have nothing to show for it.

I looked at my calendar and realised there are 40+ weeks until Xmas, so I shouldn't stress myself out as there is loads of time left. Likewise, DS' birthday is a two months away, so I have plenty of time to use my play money to prepare for his party.

ForMyGirls

How weird - I wrote a long post last night and am so sure that I submitted it but then when I logged in tonight it is nowhere to be seen. Very odd. Hopefully that won’t happen again.

THe short version from last night though was:
to say well done Steph for your frugal approach to the orchard building. I think you made the right call to follow through on your promise - but you worked out a way to do it with minimum impact on your budget so well done;
to flag an idea for Chanie with the play money - I was thinking that maybe you could create a separate category for the christmas gift / birthday party money type spends and put some money into that - that way you know that money won’t be frittered away and will be there when you need it and you will still have some fun money to just spend every now and then
I waxed lyrical about this thing of being generous to others (the buying coffees thing) - for me this is a tricky balance to strike. I don’t want to be “that person” who never shouts a drink - but I have an awareness that I have spent a lot of my life with people who have far more disposable income than me and that part of my bad financial position comes from trying to be generous in a world in which I can’t actually afford what other people take for granted. The coffees from yesterday weren’t in that league but I have some learning to do about accepting that sometimes I simply can’t afford to be as generous as I would like to be - and I think that I might need to draw some pretty firm lines (such as - there isn’t enough play money left to buy everyone coffee so you don’t offer to do it) so that I can learn how to set those limits.

But enough rehash of yesterday - reporting in about today.

Credits - I was due to be at the shops at lunchtime (and it was a work from home day so I didn’t have a packed lunch) - thought wen through my head “scoop - I can get some sushi for lunch” - took me a while to work out that “but it’s really healhty” was not actually a good reason to blow my budget. That gem of a sabotaging thought “but it will be so much quicker to buy something” gave me a run for it’s money but as it turns out making a toasted sandwich before I left the house took about 2 minutes, which was probably WAY quicker than getting sushi at the shops. Payday tomorrow and found myself thinking while I was planning tomorrow’s food and spending “OK - money coming in what am I going to buy?” and then remembered - just because there is available cash doesn’t mean you have to spend it!

My checklist (in brief)
1. ARC, NO CHOICE, IT'S NOT OKAY and GET BACK ON TRACK cards - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - yes 4. Credits - all of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - yes 6. spending plan - yes 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - no 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes

StressedSteph

Hi FMG


Great to read a post from you. I don't like you working because you post less .


Really interesting to read about you being the generous one but in the worse financial situation. That is so true of me, but also abit of "buying friendship" might be involved there too.:o.
I think the School Orchard also fits into this category. My mouth opens with fantastic generous offers, waaaay before my brain gets involved to calculate whether I can actually afford this offer.
There are a lot of wealthy parents at our school who do nothing, but I am the one deep in debt and financing a bloomin school orchard. I must be mad.!


On a serious note though, I really must make sure my brain gets involved before my generosity start spilling out of my mouth in the future. I need to think of our family first before I help other people. If only for the next two years whilst we get back on our feet.


Interesting post though FMG, you really made me think about my actions.


Well done avoiding the Sushi lunch. Another lesson I need to remember is that looking after the pennies the pounds look after themselves. So true and I ALWAYS forget this.


Big hugs xxx

chanie

Hi everyone,

FMG - thanks for the idea about having an extra budget for presents etc. I may set a small pot of money aside to top up my play money.

FMG, have you thought about baking some biscuits etc and giving them to people who are generous with you? I have a few recipes I want to try out myself for this very reason. Could also work with you Steph - contributing something like that, which costs pennies to make......

Everything is good with me otherwise, but I don't have much to update.

Credits
I got some expenses back from work and I've made sure the money has gone back into my account, rather than 'wasting' it.

StressedSteph

Hi Chainey

I often bake and also make crafts. Last year I watercoloured and handstitched a vintage caravan with flowers on some fabric and framed it for a friend who loves her caravan and gave it to her for her birthday.

I feel handmade gifts are so much nicer than bought, but hubby occasionally makes a comment like "oh god, now you will be giving these to everyone for their birthday!" which kind of puts me off.

I worry that I am the only one who puts value in handmade gifts?.

Its that or no gift for me for the next two years, so friends are going to have to get used to it

chanie

Wow Steph, you sound really talented. I did have a phase of wanting to craft, but I'm not very good at stuff like that and it needs to be done properly, if you are going to do it.

I agree, handmade can be lovely and I'm sure people appreciate the effort put in, so keep going.


I'm planning on knitting some wrist warmers for Xmas (I need to get started now, as I have quite a lot to do). I can knit and I do enjoy it, but have a short attention span, so items have to be small and fairly easy.

chanie

Hi everyone.

Thought I'd say a quick hello and wish you all a frugal Valentine's day tomorrow. Mr C and I agreed not to do cards. I don't like going out for dinner on Valentine's day so we tend to stay in and do something another night when things aren't so 'commercial'.

StressedSteph

Hi all,

Just a quick check in to say hi. Hope you are ok FMG? Guess you are just a busy bee, but don't leave us will you .

Happy Valentines day. We don't really go for all that slushy stuff in our house, been married too long and too poor to do anything if we wanted to . Nevermind.

Another glorious day out there today. Can't understand where all this rain is coming from. The skies must run out soon surely.

Wishing I was in Oz with you FMG. I bet your are not constantly in wellie boots and mud like I am

Take care all. xx

mizmir

Morning all - happy valentine's day to everyone! OH finally got home last night after the storm delays so we celebrated with early valentine chocs and the end of a bottle of wine - lovely - though I think I ate too many chocs!

Steph - I think handmade gifts are lovely. My sister and nieces do a lot of craft stuff and we usually get things they have made - I love it. They are beautiful and unique and have taken time and thought. I would like to be able to do the same - maybe I should start making something.

Haven't moved on with my days for a bit - been a bit busy sorting stuff but will get to Day 11 soon. In the meantime credits - I have made my February income target with 2 weeks to spare and every penny has been "given a job" in YNAB. I have gone from having no idea what we are spending and how much was(n't) in the bank account in January - to knowing exactly what is going out of where and stemming the flow from the accounts. We still have enough to cover the bills and a contribution to the annual expenses - plus something set aside for doing work on the garden at Easter. It feels like a turn around and a direction I plan to continue in now.

StressedSteph

mizmir wrote: »

Morning all - happy valentine's day to everyone! OH finally got home last night after the storm delays so we celebrated with early valentine chocs and the end of a bottle of wine - lovely - though I think I ate too many chocs!

Steph - I think handmade gifts are lovely. My sister and nieces do a lot of craft stuff and we usually get things they have made - I love it. They are beautiful and unique and have taken time and thought. I would like to be able to do the same - maybe I should start making something.

Haven't moved on with my days for a bit - been a bit busy sorting stuff but will get to Day 11 soon. In the meantime credits - I have made my February income target with 2 weeks to spare and every penny has been "given a job" in YNAB. I have gone from having no idea what we are spending and how much was(n't) in the bank account in January - to knowing exactly what is going out of where and stemming the flow from the accounts. We still have enough to cover the bills and a contribution to the annual expenses - plus something set aside for doing work on the garden at Easter. It feels like a turn around and a direction I plan to continue in now.

Hi Miz,

Yay for YNAB :T. Just loving it. We are in a similar situation.

We are in control of our bills, Every penny has a job;), we even have £131 in our different savings pots. That isn't much but is a BIG breakthrough for us, who NEVER manage to save a penny.

Its so nice to allocate money to the pots. We have a bill for the butchers coming up soon for them making our bacon, but I don't have to worry because I KNOW I have allocated enough money in that pot to cover it.

Its great to make the money work for itself, by getting ahead of ourselves with the bills, then at the end of the month there is money left over to put in more savings pots.

Such an unusual feeling for us. I feel in total or at least as much control as we can be.

We are savings for:-

Birthdays
Christmas
Emergencies
Vehicles.

Hopefully we are gathering enough money in each pot to cover birthdays & Christmas, vehicles pot will cover MOT, Tax's and there is extra going in to cover repairs and MOT failures.
Then the emergency pot is just there to mop up anything else that's unexpected.

Won't feel too relaxed until the pots get abit bigger. Only started beginning of February.

It will be a REAL breakthrough to get to a birthday and be able to have the money already sat there. I am convinced they will then get a lot more for their birthdays because I can shop around, instead of having to use the dreaded Catalogue to buy overpriced rubbish presents.

Enough rambling for me now. Just thank you guys for getting me on YNAB :beer: