Learning to think like a frugal person

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Very close to bed time so i will be super brief.

My checklist (in brief)
1. ARC, NO CHOICE and IT'S NOT OKAY - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - yes 4. Credits - all of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - n/a 6. spending plan - yes 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - no 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes

I quite forgot 8. Better work on that tomorrow.

Credits - all hair related :-) suspected case of headlice in the house today (are headlice an inevitable part of parenting in the UK or is it just the Aussie climate?). Last summer i discovered a saint of a woman who you can pay to come and do the lice treatment. (Decadent i know but my kids had them about 15 times last year so i was way way way over spending my life with a fine toot comb). I so WANTED to call her this morning but there wasn't actually any doubt in my mind that i would be doing it myself. Other credit - i had a hair appointment today, which i had put into my spending plan today but then when i went to pre-entre it i realised i hadn't left enough in my "play money" to cover it. There was a conversation in my head about whether i could cancel the appointment becasue i didn't want a red number in that column. Ended up deciding that wouldn't be fair to my hairdresser (and i am confident that was the right call) but i am pleased that i was that resistant to going into the red and i have thought through how to make sure that doesn't happen again (ie: when thinking about whether to spend play money i need to look ahead at what else needs to be paid from it in the next fortnight).

Aaagh - bedtime - which i have strict rules about it because it makes the rest of life work or not work. Will come back with some chit chat in the morning :-)

StressedSteph

Hi all,


Chanie - I feel the same. I REALLY love reading the posts on here, but the Beck formula is waaaaay too complicated for me to work my way through. I have justadopted the ARC list of "Reasons I want to be out of Debt". I carry that around in my purse and try to read it at least every day or whenever I am inwardly trying to justify a spend or extra expense.
I think that is a Fab idea. I have also decided the adopt the Pause, plan, pay method, where if I REALLY want something I have to PAUSE (Leave it 24hours before purchasing), PLAN - If I haven't got it in my budget, I have to save for it. Then when I have left it at least 24 hours and have enough money budgeted, THEN I can PAY for it.
Think that was your idea Chanie xxx


I love those tips but I couldn't follow the steps one by one, I would get completely fuddled.:o


Good idea with your Frugal strategies I need some of those. xx
Thankfully all our big birthdays are done now until September. Hoping we will have saved up a Birthday fund by then. Fingers Crossed.


Hi FMG,


I am definitely ALWAYS full of excuses to justify spending money. I think I have pretty much used all of the ones on your list, MANY times.


I am hoping the PAUSE, PLAN, PAY strategy will help control this. I am such an impulsive person. Sometimes that can work in my favour, but financially it has been my downfall.
My reliance on internet shopping is the problem. It doesn't feel like real money, when its just click, click, click and its done. .


I have been tempted to ban all internet shopping in this house, BUT I feel it would cost me a lot more money in Fuel travelling to the large towns to purchase legitimate household purchases.


So if I use the PAUSE, where I have to wait 24hours, then I am hoping I will have calmed down and thought about the need/want of the purchase and will have talked myself out of it.


That the plan. xxx

ForMyGirls

Children are entertained after a morning of bike riding (before it got hot) and painting (indoors with all the curtains closed and very cooler in the house on ever since!) so I can finally get back to the chit chat I didn't achieve last night.

Chanie - I am sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed by the Beck approach - losing the will to live somewhat is certainly not the goal! It occurs to me that it might be turning into a bit of struggle for you, in part, because I didn't really talk through the "one day / one step at a time" part of the program very well at the outset so that you have ended up trying to take on too many new approaches all at once. Could equally be that you are right and this doesn't suit you - or equally that the Beck approach doesn't actually work for money stuff! I also know that you have two very little people in your life - those days are in the recent enough past for me that I remember just how hard it was to do anything other than survive - so I totally understand if it makes sense to just do some bits right now or to just use what has worked so far, adapted as works for you.

I like your thinking on the birthday party too - in my experience kids like simple best anyway - as they get older they get caught up like us grown-ups in the hyped up stuff but when I remember to keep it simple they invariably end up having more fun anyway.

And finally - thanks for your lovely comment about seeing a change in my thinking. (It felt like that glorious experience when someone says "have you lost weight?") I do think my attitude and habits are shifting - which is a glorious thing.

Steph - I am so with you on the internet shopping. It is sooooo easy to just add one more thing - and the insidious "other people who bought X also bought Y" breadcrumb trails get me every time! I think the "24 hour" break for Pause, Plan, Pay should be very effective for counteracting it because it is pretty rare for the "I must have it" to still be running in my head 24 hours later.

And in response to your earlier question about whether I think you could do the "basket with goodies that have to be taken out" exercise with internet shopping - absolutely! (Has the added bonus of not having to feel like a goose because no-one is watching!)

Thanks also for the reminder that clothes can be fixed - my younger DD's button just fell off her shorts so rather than despairing that she needs new shorts I have channelled you and will be sewing a new one on :-) (My sewing skills are rudimentary in the extreme so hopefully it won't get too ugly).

On the topic of "pause, plan, pay" (which I always type as "Pause, Play, Pan!") and planning spending - I was also thinking a bit last night about how grabbing bargains fits into all this. Because I think taking advantage of bargains is often a really rational thing to do - it is just about working out whether the "it's a bargain" thought is the rational version or the version that is going to sucker you into buying something you actually don't need. Maybe an approach is to have a list of things you need and "plan" to buy them whenever you see them at a discounted price? For me at the moment I think I need to draw really clear lines in the sand to break the habit of impulse buying and accept that for the moment that means foregoing bargains (unless they are there the next day still!). Maybe later once the new me is well entrenched I can come back and work out how to be a bargain shopper safely.

ForMyGirls

Payday today so my signature is updated. $30.90 to knock off the "big ugly overspend" and I will be at my first mini-goal. This is very cool. It feels like I only just began this journey and I'm about to pass a milestone :-)

chanie

Hi FMG,

Don't get me wrong, I do love the plan, but I think I prefer the planning/action areas more than the reflective ones. I will definitely continue the plan, as I have learned so much. I hope my post didn't come across as rude - I have learned so much and you are a great inspiration. I guess I need to think more about how I adapt it to suit me, with some more 'actions'. You have inspired me to continue.

I have to go to a meeting now, so I will be back later with some more thoughts.

StressedSteph

Hi FMG


Well done for reaching your first Mini-Goal :j.
Think this is probably a VERY good idea. I have felt abit disheartened today because I have recently switched bank accounts and my money has been up in the air (only been YNAB'ing for 2 weeks). I haven't had much money to pay off my debts. My total debt looks so huge, that I think I need to break it down some more to make me feel like I can actually achieve something. Otherwise it just seems like an insurmountable mountain .


I am having to forgo taking advantage of bargains at the moment too. I have £60 per week for my internet food shop and if I spot something I need on offer during that shop then I will get it, as long as I am still under budget.


We have a large Trade warehouse by us called Bookers Cash & Carry. You can get bulk loads of certain items for really quite cheap prices. Unfortunately I can't afford to take advantage of that at the moment because of cash levels. Hopefully once my cash flow gets better, (because I am not impulse buying) then I might be able to factor a once a month trip to Bookers to get 5o loo rolls for £5 etc.


My Mother in Law is a massive bargain hunter. But I think she may have lost her way with it. Because she comes home with tonnes of bargains but they are often useless rubbish that she doesn't actually need, so really in reality it isn't a bargain because its cost her money on something she wouldn't normally buy. Where as if its Toilet rolls or bags of flour then that makes sense.


Well done for tackling the button sewing. It really feels good to realise you have side-stepped an extra expense because of a little effort.


Little baby steps, but we are getting there. xxxx

StressedSteph

chanie wrote: »

Hi FMG,

Don't get me wrong, I do love the plan, but I think I prefer the planning/action areas more than the reflective ones. I will definitely continue the plan, as I have learned so much. I hope my post didn't come across as rude - I have learned so much and you are a great inspiration. I guess I need to think more about how I adapt it to suit me, with some more 'actions'. You have inspired me to continue.

I have to go to a meeting now, so I will be back later with some more thoughts.

Same goes for me too FMG, Hope you didn't think I was being rude either.


I guess its just us finding a way to make it work for our situation etc. I adore reading your posts and have taken a lot from all the steps. I just can't concentrate long enough to seriously follow each one. Think I am more interested in reading your most recent posts


:smileyhea

mizmir

Day 8: Creating time and energy

This one is interesting for me as I think my tendency is to throw myself fully into every new thing - and other things get neglected. So at the moment it is the finances and I am making lots of time to keep track of things and do my budgeting, meal planning, shopping around etc. That's fine short term - there has been a lot to get a grip of. The key will be to work out a sustainable plan for doing this so it is not so all consuming.

For me that will include:
1. A daily morning routine of checking banks and updating budgets.
2 Same in the evening - taking account of day's spending.
3. Weekly meal planning and shopping - I am lucky to work from home so I can shop around - I am happy to take half a day out once a week to do the rounds of the different shops.
4. Limiting myself on here to coffee breaks!
5. Having YNAB on my phone so I can do updates on the move.
6. Developing some sensible record keeping habits - I realised doing the taxes that my record keeping has been throwing everything into a box. But of course not everything - as somethings aren't physical. So I have created a virtual box for receipts plus nothing goes in there until it is recorded in my accounts. Need to do the same for physical receipts. This will ultimately save me a lot of time - but I need to make it a habit.

ForMyGirls

Aaagh - bedtime looms again. How fast can I type?

Chanie and Steph - I did not think your messages were rude at all! I am hugely grateful to the two of you and Mizmir for joining in this experiment with me and would not want you to ever censor what you are thinking and feeling.

Mizmir - hope you have managed to escape the land of Shingles

Am having my "I will shop wisely by buying food at Aldi" commitment seriously challenged tonight as the pizza bases I bought for tonight's dinner had a cockroach in them!!! I was so annoyed as well because for once in a blue moon I actually had my act together enough to have dinner ready for my fella when he came home (he always has dinner ready and the table set when I walk in the door on his cooking nights!) and then I had to go to the shop to get new bases. ANwyay - the credit hidden in all of this is that in the past this situation would have led to takeaway - the thought did briefly cross my mind but not for long!

Other credits - made the pizzas from ingredients we had in the house rather than buying extra toppings.

My checklist (in brief)
1. ARC, NO CHOICE and IT'S NOT OKAY - yes 2. other response cards - yes 3. transactions in YNAB before spending and savoured purchases - n/a 4. Credits - all of the time 5. use my spend wisely plan - n/a 6. spending plan - yes 7. Monitored my spending - all of the time 8. compared my bank balance and YNAB to redefine "zero" - yes 9. Spent only available money for discretionary spending - yes

chanie

An overview of month 1

I thought I would review how I have found my first month on the plan, as I get paid on Friday and my first month is up.

I have enjoyed making lists, having my play money and trying ways to stretch my money. I feel that I'm doing something proactive and it feels really good. One of the most important things I've discovered, is that I don't feel deprived. Cutting out waste means I can afford some treats. Don't get me wrong, I don't have loads of spare cash, but I am making the most of what I do have.

I have had a couple of questionable spends, but I can offset these against generally being good. I love having my play money and being able to spend this without feeling guilty and putting it towards things I need to buy.

I really want to maintain my frugal outlook, so slow and steady is the way to go for next month. Over the next few days, I plan on re-reading all of the posts, to keep all of the information fresh in my mind.

Credits
I don't have anything really to add, as I haven't spent any money, which is a credit in itself.