Family and housing help needed

moneyistooshorttomention

NB; Just because your father is very intelligent doesn't mean he is necessarily "seeing things straight". Mental functioning can be "not what it was" for many people for many reasons as they get older, even if they have an extremely high intelligence level (I've watched this myself and the extremely intelligent person I know doesn't quite function mentally as they used to when younger). High intelligence is no guarantee that the mind will keep functioning exactly as it did when the person was younger.

I have a friend that is that intelligent that he collected University Degrees like confetti when he was younger...but he knows he has started to get dementia and is currently fighting against it.

charlie3090

Laney2 wrote: »

I am carer for my son; i have only recently started working again now he is at college age and slightly less dependant. I pay everything that involves running and maintaining the house. The ONLY expense he has is his own telephone (I have my supplied though Virgin media with the tv package) I provide my dad with his own cable box) the house has 2 living rooms so we each have our own)council tax and recently house insurance. The bills are in my name. My dad recently got £300 winter fuel allowance and would not even contribute any of this to the gas and electric-which I pay!

Are you sure you should be paying 2 lots of council tax?,that suggests 2 separate dwellings, I thought that the criteria was 2 kitchens or something like that.
serously if you are paying all the bills,why should you be expected to pay rent,
I cant help thinking that maybe you dad is paying more than just £200 to your greedy selfish brother,
I really hope you can sort this out hun,what do you think would happen if you said you were moving out?,
maybe he would cut you out of his will,but I suspect by the time your brother has finished there wont be much left.
I know this sounds strange but you could talk to womens aid,
they truly saved my life once after 10 mentally abusive years and they were just great,
C x.

Laney2

I think my brother knows that my dad will deteriorate if I move out and he is suddenly left to his own devices. When the bathroom needed replacing as it was leaking badly, I asked if they would help pay for it and was told no. I had to do it as I couldn't expect anyone to cope with not being able to shower! It was at they point I said if my brother was getting 'rent' he would be obliged to repair things. He's happy taking money but never invested any into this house. I'm resolved to the fact that most of the things that you would expect to inherit being passed down through the family, have sort of been given to my brother, and I'm not expecting anything really in regard to the house. I'm only trying to get a little back what I've spent on it to at least be able to have deposit and rent in advance.

Laney2

charlie3090 wrote: »

Are you sure you should be paying 2 lots of council tax?,that suggests 2 separate dwellings, I thought that the criteria was 2 kitchens or something like that.
serously if you are paying all the bills,why should you be expected to pay rent,
I cant help thinking that maybe you dad is paying more than just £200 to your greedy selfish brother,
I really hope you can sort this out hun,what do you think would happen if you said you were moving out?,
maybe he would cut you out of his will,but I suspect by the time your brother has finished there wont be much left.
I know this sounds strange but you could talk to womens aid,
they truly saved my life once after 10 mentally abusive years and they were just great,
C x.

Sorry there is only one set of council tax. I was listing things my dad paid, but lost track. He pays his phone,council tax and buildings insuance.

Laney2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

NB; Just because your father is very intelligent doesn't mean he is necessarily "seeing things straight". Mental functioning can be "not what it was" for many people for many reasons as they get older, even if they have an extremely high intelligence level (I've watched this myself and the extremely intelligent person I know doesn't quite function mentally as they used to when younger). High intelligence is no guarantee that the mind will keep functioning exactly as it did when the person was younger.

I have a friend that is that intelligent that he collected University Degrees like confetti when he was younger...but he knows he has started to get dementia and is currently fighting against it.

This really hit the nail on the head. Yes he is intelligent and he is definitely confused. He seems to think that by brother is his partner with the house, and because I am living in half of his house, my brother needs to benefit as I am benefitting from the house by living in it.

moneyistooshorttomention

So it doesn't sound as if you have enough money left to be able to buy your own house again if you leave, judging by your comment about having to pay rent to live elsewhere.

So, you've lost not just the money you paid into your fathers house but also the fact of being a home-owner.

There is now a different aspect I am thinking of here. The one about wondering what your chances are of the Council rehousing you. Huge waiting lists in some parts of the country, but I gather there are parts where there isn't too much of a problem. I don't know what your part of the country is like in this respect.

I'm wondering about what chances there are that your Council will house a single person of younger than OAP age and how that looks. What is the position in that respect in your area? Do you have some chance of the Council helping rehouse you there? If so, then I guess you are in the position of not being seen to "intentionally make yourself homeless" (ie by moving out of your fathers house). Do you need to be (basically) "chucked out" of your fathers house to get them to help you or do your Council not help single working age people anyway and you would have to find a private rented place?

Laney2

If I walk away-which to be honest I really need to do for my sanity,I lose every penny I put into the house, my brother gains as he will get added value that I have invested into their house. My dad will deteriorate, my brother will have full control. Even though I'm hurt at the whole situation, I still care that my dad will be vulnerable.

Laney2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

So it doesn't sound as if you have enough money left to be able to buy your own house again if you leave, judging by your comment about having to pay rent to live elsewhere.

So, you've lost not just the money you paid into your fathers house but also the fact of being a home-owner.

There is now a different aspect I am thinking of here. The one about wondering what your chances are of the Council rehousing you. Huge waiting lists in some parts of the country, but I gather there are parts where there isn't too much of a problem. I don't know what your part of the country is like in this respect.

I'm wondering about what chances there are that your Council will house a single person of younger than OAP age and how that looks. What is the position in that respect in your area? Do you have some chance of the Council helping rehouse you there? If so, then I guess you are in the position of not being seen to "intentionally make yourself homeless" (ie by moving out of your fathers house). Do you need to be (basically) "chucked out" of your fathers house to get them to help you or do your Council not help single working age people anyway and you would have to find a private rented place?

Extremely unlikely for council to help, private rented would be the only way to go. I do not earn enough to now get another mortgage.

moneyistooshorttomention

Have you checked out availability of private rented places in your area?

From comment about £200 a month being deemed to be (half?) rent on your fathers house, then I am guessing that house rental in your area is around £400 per month and, for that, you would get a small terrace house?

That is the one blessing I see here. It sounds as if you might be in an area with low housing costs. Is that so?

Laney2

House is modest semi,not particularly nice area. It is/was home though :-( it's not a nice place to live, atmosphere is awful. My brother has owned half for way over the 7 year rule. I have been looking into it and I think the 'rent' situation is due to gift with reservation bit? To make it count, as my dad still benefitted from the house by living in it, he needed to pay rent.